Wisdom of the Sages
Episode IV
Spring 2009
Hello People of the World;
Hey, you know that stuff I spouted in last month’s edition about "the secret of art"? Yeah. Turns out, was toh-tally right about all of it. Isn’t that the coolest? Not one dispute, not one opposing opinion, not one statement to prove me wrong, not one Artiste willing to go mano-a-mano with Yours Truly. As you know, in today’s society, silence means assent and getting in the last word makes you right. So, eat it Artiste-istas! (And choke it down Schnitzelbaum, ‘cause it’s not vegetarian!)
Anyways. Enough with the gloating. Off with the horns, and on with the show. Let’s get down to the real reason you comes here: My fair and reasoned observation on things only important to me. That’s me, "Fair & Balanced" all the way:
:[ First item of the month: The other day while deciding if I should go to Evanston or not, to go check out the books stores or go home first and change coats as it was getting chillier, I had the decision made for me as the strap on my Man Purse broke and I had to go home to fix it.
Now, I do not brag much (right.) but I am quite proud of my sewing capabilities. I sewed that strap back in place solidly and so far it is holding. One of my many hidden talents is my ability to sew well. I was taught to in first grade, believe it or not, as part of our arts and crafts lessons. We used to sew together pillows based on cartoon characters, like you see in the fabric stores. I always chose Huckleberry Hound because no one seemed to like him. So, I got pretty apt at sewing.
Being a bachelor again I have had to rely on this skill more than ever. I found that I am pretty good. Give me a pattern and maybe I’ll make you a shirt or something. I don’t mean sewing with a machine, I mean hand-stitching. Hell, I once sewed a button fly from a pair of Levi 501s onto a pair of Wrangler Cowboy Cut jeans when the zipper broke. I was pretty proud of that. Used to patch up all my own jeans. (Ask folk who knew me in high school.) Must have kept those same pairs through high school and over two years of college. (I got fat so they didn’t fit anymore.)
Anyway, I recently had need of it and realized of how proud I am of my sewing skill.
:[ Octo-mom – With the way they are characterizing her, I am surprised the Media hasn’t started called her Octopussy.
:[ Still more from the Watchmen. Come on. Seriously? I guess the writer sent out an open letter to fans threatening that if this film fails at the box office that "films with balls" will no longer get made. Really? I never considered the Watchmen movie as all that big of a risk-taking movie. It had a built-in audience filled with story, characters and situations that comic fanboys wanted to see. It was never looking to upset the established order but to succor a very tangent audience.
Besides, my idea of a "movie with balls" will always be something that goes against an established doxa, opinion, or thematics. "Brokeback Mountain" was a movie like that, "Fahrenheit 9/11", "Breathless", "Russian Ark", "Clerks", "The Last Temptation of Christ", even "Passion of the Christ" movies that upset the cinematic zeitgeist and galvanized audiences to participate in a dialogue, or, movies that break the cinematic rules creating a new experience.
I never saw "Watchmen" as such a film. It had violence, nudity, and pretended to know something about the politics of the 80’s, as if these things make a movie visionary and radically brave. No, it played to its perceived audience. Simple.
I think the folk who like it really want it to succeed because they liked the book so much. While that seems like a generalization, it has been my experience so far. To the Watchman fans that think it is the greatest thing ever despite what everyone else thinks: Welcome to George Lucas-ism.
The main problem I found with the Watchmen movie was that it was made for a very loud but limited audience of American society. Quite honestly, you cannot please Fanboys, for once they get this ideal in their heads that something is perfect, was perfect, they will build it up in their minds that nothing can deter them in their opinion that it is indeed the best thing ever, hence the "raped my childhood" catchphrase. Like South Park’s Carman when he thought he wrote the Fish Sticks joke.
Don’t get me wrong. I liked the movie. I really did and I will probably watch it again sooner or later.
Something like Batman is a more universal character that has been around for Seventy Years and proliferated around the world. That is why The Dark Knight succeeded. Everyone knows Batman and that there can be more than one interpretation of the character. The latest version fit a lot of peoples’ idea of what Batman is, add that to the great performance by the late Heath Ledger, and the hype surrounding that; it could not help but succeed. Plus, it helped that it had a good adventure story.
The Watchmen comic could only be interpreted in one way, mainly because it is a richly detailed and complex story to begin with. Which is why it sort-of failed. If it did not fit many fans’ expectation, and a very limited fan base it was to begin with (I mean even Harry Potter has a larger fan base than Watchmen), that it just did not have the distance on it to make box office, which in the end, the way a movie’s success is measured. (Because that translates into how many people wanted to see it and pay to do so, and, pay to see it again.) Which is why movies are in the end, are a business, not an art. You see?
"Watchmen" is a fixed vision to begin with, a vast, complex, and detailed vision from Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons. Unlike Batman, which is open to interpretation and has a wider audience. For Watchmen to come up short visually and literally with the film version almost assured its dropping from theaters after two weeks.
In the end, unless it was a motion graphic of the comic book, there was no way it was going to work. Got an opposing opinion? Bring it suckas! I know y’all punk out.
:[ Redshade Productions Update:
Hamlet – So far it has been pretty tough to get the ball rolling on this. Folks are scared of the verbiage I think. Anyways, I began some casting and some location scouting. I do have access to camera and audio, but people just do not want to get involved. I guess people are figuring it will be some mammoth undertaking, which it does not have to be if we pull together and get it done.
I am planning with an eye on my limitations; i.e. digital video instead of film, shooting the cinema veritas style ala Godard or DOGMA, using natural lighting and found locations. There will be no logical, linear continuity to the locations. With available light, we need no huge lighting set up which is perfect for digital video. Watch the opening of Godard’s Breathless and you will get the kind of flow and editing I want. Many of the monologues will become interior. The story will propel the action and tempo. I have one actor committed. I am trying to get in touch with the locations. I feel I can do this. I just need some help to realize the vision.
Shoshoni Connection – Nothing new to report here. I do need to finish up that latest draft of the screenplay. In the end I need to be in tip-top shape to execute the physical aspect of the character, plus look good on-screen. So, a lot still needs to happen before I can roll cameras on this highly original movie, in my mind anyway. I keep saying, even if I am beat to the action movie punch by another Native director, this is nothing like any Native director has ever tried before.
Three Kingdoms – I finished outlining the script and filling in the beats and scripting some scenes. I think this will kick ass as a movie. I am also planning to apply to All Roads for this because I have not seen a movie adaptation like this before. Are there any readers interested in taking a look?
The Skies over Wind River – I will tell you more about this one as I get closer to shooting it as I do not want anyone to steal this idea.
PLUS MORE SHORT FILMS TO COME!
:[ Have you ever noticed that in your building when you are on the elevator with other tenants, that, in lieu of speaking to one another beyond hellos, you all just stare at the lighted numbers above the doors as if watching them will make them go faster?
:[ Punisher: War Zone Review – I rented this from the DVD Play at the grocery store, mainly to see what the deal was. I never seen the Thomas Jane/John Travolta version of "The Punisher", and I was a fan of the Dolph Lundgren version back in the early Nineties (yeah, I said that.). Hey, I was just out of high school, but I feel that there is only so much you can do with this one-note character.
Ray Stevenson actually made a great Frank Castle/Punisher striking all the right notes as a man who lost his family too violently and is getting revenge on the criminal underworld. It was they just surrounded him with a too-large roster of cheesy side characters. They focus too much on his connection, or rather, re-connection to his humanity via a cute little moppet, which is not what the Punisher is about, reconnecting to his humanity.
The story arc with Microchip (a perfectly cast Wayne Knight) and the reformed Gangbanger was great. Frank does not completely trust the Kid until he needs to count on him to protect the little girl the main villain is after. The best line, which could come across rather cheesy, but in the context of a one-note, comic book vigilante movie, was pretty cool; after the banger’s been shot protecting the girl, asking Frank to end his suffering for him, says before Frank obliges, "See you in Hell, Castle."
Frank, moved by this Kid’s sacrifice and now seeing that his reformation was true, replies, "If see you anywhere near Hell, I’ll kick your ass out."
Now, Frank is accepting of his spiritual fate and does not want this kid to suffer the same. It is stuff like that the movie should have been full of. If it is cheese, it is contextual cheese. Instead we get b-grade actors trying to out-Hannibal Lector or out-Joker better actors. You see a lot of studio tampering involved, but an enjoyable flick for mainly the Punisher himself. Rent if you have nothing better to do. I liked it because I am a geek that way.
:[ I am getting so tired of defending Tom Cruise, really. Not that he’s done anything really goofy lately. People just want to dislike him, that’s all. Stupid Tom Cruise, ruins everything... even my UFO-based religion.
:[ While I certainly do agree with the idea that Hollywood is bankrupted in the originality department with endless remakes and parody movies and twist endings, but I do feel the recently announced Coen Brothers project "True Grit" sounds fairly interesting.
I certainly feel that some films should not be remade as a rule because they got it right the first time, i.e. The Godfather, Casablanca, Citizen Kane, THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL, Star Wars, but a remake of something like True Grit, with capable directors such as the Coens, sounds interesting. People forget that John Carpenter’s The Thing was a remake. (I know, not the best example, but still, the best example.) I think a western by the Coens could be interesting.
People will just have to drop the John Wayne baggage associated with the earlier version.
Another aspect of this discussion is that people act is if once something gets remade, that original version is going to disappear from existance. Weird.
:[ I consider myself a patient man but I have noticed that I have been losing patience with my apartment keys, you know? I dislike how they stick and you need to struggle to get them to fit, how they crunch into the locks. Stupidy-stinky keys.
:[ Monsters Vs. Alie-ums 3D Review – CLICK HERE FOR THAT
:[ I don’t think I speak up enough. In that I mean in volume and not in opinion-giving. My friend and mentor Dale Smith at KCWC told me I have a strange voice in that it was not loud but it was resonant. So much so that I had to try odd angles when I spoke into the microphone while I was on-air. (That’s right, folks, I used to deejay at a college radio station. Clichéd, right?)
Why just the other day at the office we got into this conversation about what makes a scone different from other breads, say a biscuit. I mentioned that a scone is basically a "fruited biscuit" to which my co-worker agreed saying that is a good way of saying it, repeating "a fruity biscuit". So, I think I need to speak up more. Also, I just felt it would be rude to correct her when I already made my point. So, I guess I need to speak up in that sense too.
Honestly, I am not used to being around so many people that often so I forget to my pitch my voice differently when I am in the company of others unless I am publically speaking. (Which does not happen often.) My Bonnie says a mumble too much. It is not that mumble but what I say is too low or I trail off thinking I am heard. Besides, I truly do not think people are interested in what I have to say. Audience, what’s your diagnosis?
:[ I may be quiet, but to be honest, if I do like you I will:
1) Talk a lot more (maybe too much), and
2) Tease the wholly living sh*t outta you. For real. Never take it personally. (Many do though.)
:[ Yes! I got the Region 9 DVD for Red Cliff II and I loved every frickin’ second of it! Here is my Red Cliff 2 Review – CLICK HERE.
Anyone wanting to see a Red Cliff Double Bill, let me know!
:[ Okay, so, I finally saw the "Twilight" movie (Not by choice though. You see, I just love my Charlotte) and figured out why the ‘tweenies love it. It is filled with all sorts of things they can get into: Cute guys, safe predators, valiant rescues, and a mythology to attach to. Now, the main difference between this series and the Potter series is that this is more contemporized than Potter, which takes place in an altered reality. It is not smart like the Potter series because it mainly deals with the superficially "important" things that ‘Tweens are into while the Potter series takes bigger issues like family, death, good and evil and is smart enough to know the readers will get it.
Face it; the publishers are simply preying on ‘tween girls’ need to be a part of something like a trend, a fad. Seriously.
It did not surprise me when I saw an interview with the author of this series and found she did not take any kind of writing course. She just wrote about what she liked, cute guys, safe predators, valiant rescues and a mythology to attach it to, knowing ‘tween girls would like the soap opera aspect of it, like the junior high school dramas that play out everyday at school. I wonder how my ‘tween girl would like something like Anne Rice’s "Interview with the Vampire"? I’ll have to see. (Probably not, after thinking it over. While it does have drama, scares, and a mythology, there is no cute girl the main cute guy can fall in love with. But on the other hand, my Sammie is smarter than that.)
As for the movie: I just could not get out of my mind the creepiness of a one hundred, seven-year-old man hitting on a 16-year-old girl. I guess what makes it all right is that the Creepy Old Man looks like a dreamy 17-year-old (Played by a 24-year-old) kid. Can you imagine if Christopher’s Lee, or, Walken played the role? At least someone who looked 107-years-old? You’d understand then. Even with sex taken out of the equation. It would have been more interesting if the teen-looking heartthrob fell in love with someone close to his own age, I think.
It sort of promotes this pedophilial ideology that it is okay for older men to prey on under-aged women, and plays into the teen fantasy of attracting the attention of older men but without the sexual threat. It is also just bad writing with the metaphor being way too obvious: just substitute "bloodlust" with "sexual lust" and there you have it. Like that isn’t something original when it comes to vampires, right?
Still, I heard that the girl is played smarter in the movie than she is written in the book. I dunno, like any fad, the girls will out grow this one I am sure.
(And yes, I do think too much about things like movies.)
:[ Lately, I’ve been getting into different kinds of breads. It started innocuously enough, changing up my bread selection at the Subway or Potbelly’s. I have been trying to get into more healthier breads and gravitated towards wheat breads. But I love breads on the whole. I love the sweetness of the taste, or the warmth of fresh bread. So, I decided to start trying different kinds to see how different they taste.
I have come to like breads with melted cheese on it. Seriously. Not very healthy, I know, but hey, try it. Which is leading me to start, or, at least consider starting to experiment with grilled cheese sandwiches. Mixing different types of breads with different types of cheeses. I’ll let you know how it goes. I’m a pretty good cook, as one or two of you can attest, so grilled cheese sandwiches may become my next specialty.
:[ Ha! I knew it. The big O did make some deals in the Standard Operating Procedure of Politics to get elected. Turns out that the President did not overturn the law protecting telecommunication companies who knowingly and illegally wiretapped their customers’ phones from being sued or investigated. Even though the opportunity to do so has come up! CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO.
Wow, I have also noticed that the Patriot Act has not been overturned still. (Or at least parts of it.) Meaning, while we are crying about DVD Piracy, YouTube limitations, free music downloads, and legalizing marijuana, the government can still listen to your calls, hold you indefinitely without charges, and you cannot get a lawyer to face your accuser. Weird. Someone explain that one to me.
:[ In the "THIS JUST IN…" Department:
1) Jamie Foxx v Miley Cyrus – Wow, I never cared either way about Mr. Foxx nor Ms. Cyrus, but what he said is just plain stupid. I know he apologized and all, but mainly because he got caught. His remarks were woefully ignorant.
2) Cleopatra’s Tomb – I guess a group of anthropologists are looking to find and dig up the Tomb of Cleopatra. People tend to forget that tombs are frickin’ GRAVES! What if I tried to get an excavation together to find and dig up Abe Lincoln’s grave? Arrogance is no respecter of the dead.
LAST ITEM OF THE MONTH: My view on Twitter
Let’s face it; people want to be famous.
But they just do not want to work hard for it. We live in a society of convenience. People who "twitter" fall into two categories, by my observation:
1) The already-famous, because they’re, well, attention-whores, or
2) The folks who seen the news reports on the plane crash in Colorado (?) and the guy who wrote of his escape and how he became a quasi-celebrity, raising the profile of this fad, and figuring if they write endlessly about their unexceptional lives, that sooner or later, something will stick and give them their timers for their fifteen minutes of fame. Hell, it beats flipping burgers, am I right? I’ll take your silence for acquiescence.
Ironic, I find, that this is coming from a society too afraid to commit an opinion to print or an on-line discussion.
That will do it for this month. Happy Easter to the Christians out there, (Lapsed or otherwise) your Lenten ordeal is over. Happy Fertility Days to the Pagans, enjoy your bunny ceremonies. (Yeah, that’s why Bunnies. Gives "chocolate bunny" a whole new meaning, huh?) Happy Passover. Happy April, in general. Happy Tax Day, I hope you got your free cheeseburger!
As for me, I am doing fine so far. But I feel it is time for a change of sorts. Don’t you think? I am batting around the idea of a v’log version of WOS to post to YouTube. We’ll see. Maybe, I need new surroundings. Arapahos are nomadic by nature and I feel like maybe it is time to pull stakes and find greener pastures.
Fear not, for what ever the future holds, I will never give up my little monthly newsletter here because I am interested in hearing what you have to say about my thoughts on this weird conglomerate we call our Society. As always, I'll be interested over by the cookies.
Until Next Time; "I’m not a schemer. I just do things."
© 2009 Ernest M. Whiteman III
