Episode IX
Fall 2009
Hello People of the World;
Autumn is falling upon us like so many leaves yellowed from the greened trees. In the stillness of the cooling air and misty rains, the spire of buildings jabbing the low hanging clouds.
Have you noticed the large amount of monarch butterflies of late? As I ride the train home, I see them afloat outside the train car windows, fluttering around light poles and tall trees. My favorite sighting was in the loop, I just happened to look up in the sky to check cloud patterns; we Native do that, and saw one aflutter on a wind current.
It was amazing to see something we deem so fragile fighting and winning against a strong breeze. Lovely. In other news, it seems that I have lost my knack for chewing gum, that I have bitten the side of my mouth and the side of my tongue within 3 minutes while chewing a piece of Wrigley's. Don't you just hate that "crunch" sound your tongue makes when you bite into it and how it seems to fill your ears? Shudder.
Let’s get started, shall we?
:[ First item of the month: Guess what? I got my AARP Insurance Application in the mail the other day!
:[ I have noted before that women are much more perceptive of body language than a man is. I have had this bear out repeatedly while walking in the streets. It is a simple test. When you are walking along, you see a woman in front of you walking at you, you shift in one direction or the other ever so slightly, and they will always go the opposite direction, avoiding a collision. Even when they are talking on the phone!
Men, not so much. Walking at a man, even if he stares right at you, will never shift to avoid you even though you do move to avoid. You could chalk it up to typical bullshit, male arrogance of never backing down from a stranger, sure, but even in non-walking situations. Men, don’t get it, the art of signaling with your body movements (body language), which always leads to the slapped face come Club Nights.
:[ As it turns out, the appendix, an organ long thought useless, may actually have some health benefits. Unlike your body overall. See what I did there?
:[ Sitting in the coffee shop I noticed how differently the guy baristas treat the cute blond baristas. Plus, is anyone else getting so fucking tired of how “Fun-loving” they try to be when they talk out loud?
:[ Blind Spots: A Myth? It turns out that thousands of crashes can be avoided every day if we were not too damn lazy to set our side-view mirrors.
:[ Cigarette Companies are suing the government because new legislation violates their right to Free Speech. Wow, why is it only when they cannot make money, Billion Dollar companies suddenly care about the Bill of Rights? Isn’t it blocking my access to Free Speech for conglomerates to own all television stations across the country? Why weren’t they crying about Free Speech then?
:[ My Review of “Inglorious Basterds”. CLICK HERE for what could be my masterpiece.
:[ Sitting again in the Borders Café in the Uptown neighborhood today, having a cup to pass the time, I witness how generous people can be to one another. An elderly Hispanic man is walking about looking around. He looks lost. After a while he approaches the cashier who is deep into talking teas with two guys that look just like him. (Anglo, scruffy Jonas Bros hair, and glasses.) Weird.
The cashier explains to the man that he “no abla espanola”, and the old man turns to leave. But then, one of the tea fans says that he can translate and calls the old man back. There is a very cool exchange of Spanish, the old man sounding like those hardcore Hispanic men you hear in movies, lilt-y with a slight throaty rasp, and the kid’s pure Anglo-learned Spanish.
Turns out the old man is not lost in the sea of Modernity, no, that was my own prejudiced assumption, he was simply looking for a CD of a Ranchero singer and wanted to know if the Borders worker could help him. Cool that someone wanted to help two people he did not know at all, the old man and the cashier. It made me want to learn Spanish. I really do, as being bilingual helps in a lot of situations. But, again, small things like this remind me that we really can be a very generous species.
:[ “It Might Get Loud”: I am going to learn to play the guitar thanks to this documentary. CLICK HERE for my quick review.
:[ Just saw Rifftrax Live with Bonnie. The fellas from Mystery Science Theater 3000 riffed on “Plan 9 from Outer Space”. He-frickin’-larious! I recommend to anyone who will listen. I look forward to going to another one in the future.
Now, I got into watching Mystery Science Theater 3000 in the Sci Fi Channel days after the reign of Joel Hodgson, Trace Bealieu, and Frank Coniff. I enjoyed Mike Nelson as the host, with Kevin Murphy as Servo and Bill Corbett as Crow. But I have come to vastly appreciate the originators of the series and characters. Seeing Mike, Kevin, and Bill do their stuff live was a treat. Plus, it was funny.
:[ So, reading this on-line article about how a 22yo woman seduced and had sexual relations with a 15yo boy. All the posted comments were of the “Where’s his Luckiest Boy in the World Award” ilk. Man, how fucked up is that? Man, this country has serious issues. Right?
I know why, ‘cause it made the boy a MAHn!
:[ I forgot to mention last month that Cuba and I went to the Chicago Comic Con, so-called now as Wizard Entertainment is pulling it support, I guess. Which means the big two comic book companies were there minimally. Still, it was the same large, unruly, stinky mob of years past, though fewer costumes. Saw Edward James Olmos, of Battlestar Galactica fame, Billy Dee Williams of pop culture referral fame, saw all the famous people like Margot Kidder of Amityville Horror fame, and Doug Jones of Hellboy fame, you know, all the people that come to mind when you think “comic books”.
What really bugged me besides the $4 slice of greasy, doughy pizza was that AC was at its lowest setting. There were too few pockets of cool air in the vast convention space. With a massive crowed of comic book guys, well, it wasn’t all roses. Also, a large number of parents and ‘tween girls were there, highly unusual. Until you realize there was a “Twlight” presentation there.
While I crab on “Twilight” for many reasons, it was kind of sweet seeing moms and dads rushing for the doors at start time dragging their little kids in the Team Jacob shirts and backpacks. You know it is a legitimate phenomenon when even the no-name background characters get the screaming ‘tween treatment. (I’m looking at you Ringo Sarr.) And it proved to me one thing, sweet ‘tween to teenage girly-girls, packed in a vast space with minimal AC smells NO DIFFERENT that bulking comic book guys in the same situation. Phew!
Plus, I got fleeting video of Michelle Rodriguez. Cuba has a thing for tough chicks. So I’ll forward that on to him. Yeah, she walked right by us, even waved at us, but she was busy-busy on her cell, saying stuff like “Yo, hit me up later” (True). All in all, a fun time was had. Once again I go home empty-handed. Though I had my eye on a Seven Samurai poster. I got to learn how to buy stuff at these things.
:[ Saw Cinematic Titanic Live: I had tickets to this for quite a while now. I am an unabashed fan of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and seeing any incarnation of it will always be a treat. I am well aware that the series is partially responsible, if not wholly responsible for the tiring trend of screen-talkers at your local cinemas. Joe Wilson must have been a fan. But my Bonnie and I sojourned to the Lakeshore Theater to catch the post-MST3K, Joel Hodgeson incarnation “Cinematic Titanic”. It was freaking FUUUUUUUUUUUUUn-NEE!
We got crowded out afterwards, as we did not get to meet them at the signing they had because they chased out anyone who was not having something signed. But I gave Joel a thankful wave on my way out. He did nothing as he was in the middle of getting his picture taken. Still, seeing a live riffing by the likes of Joel (MST3K Creator), Trace Beauliu, Mary-Jo Pehl, TV’s FRANK (!), and Josh Weinstein is not to be missed. The Alien Factor was such a terrible flick but made funny with their seasoned work.
If they come back through Chicago again, Bonnie and I will be there. Anyone else?
:[ An actual Yahoo News headline: “Costs Keeping you in Debt”. Well, no sh*t!??!? What was you’re first clue, Scoob?
:[ Hey, that Katy Perry-Retro-60’s-Pin-Up Look just isn’t working ladies. Really, give it up.
:[ I must admit something. I’ve fallen in love. Yes. It can happen. You say “Again? We barely recovered from the last time this happened!” To which I say, “Stand it like a man, and suck it up.”
So let me tell you, more and more of late, I’ve been infatuated with the skyline of Chicago, the skyscrapers and the look of buildings. No, not architecture, no, I’m not that snobby about it. I just love the overall look of the skyline and the buildings of this city. Now, I hope that in eons in the future when the Cockroach Overlords or our Mechanized Masters look back to see our buildings still standing and that for us, the Willis Tower (get over it), the Tribune Building, the Wrigley Building, the new Trump Tower, are our history’s Parthenon, our Greek Coliseum, our Roman Amphitheater, you know?
I find myself taking pictures of buildings at odd angles and lighting. I love the buildings of this city.
But, the citizens, the politics and the furor over fucking, silly stuff like ball teams and how to eat your frickin’ hotdog? (Hint: you use your teeth) Meh. Not so much.
:[ Moon rock a fake! But they are keeping it. You know why? Because rather than say they’ve been duped, they are saving face and their attachment to their expertise by declaring it a “curiosity” and keeping it on display. That is how it always works. Which is why the worlds of Art and Native Identity are such easy targets for fakers. Again, Orson Welles said it best “The Experts are the greatest fakers.”
:[ Saw U2 live! Again! My Bonnie and I sojourned to the sacred Soldier Field (Speaking of architecture, Soldier Field beautifully, exquisitely and perfectly encapsulates the building ideology of Chicago, I think. Ask me how some time.). It was the very first time that I have ever been inside Soldier Field in my life. It was a spectacular show!
They roared out with the new songs, played their hits, while adding a few tunes that we have never heard live before (Ultraviolet). My favorite tunes where “No Line on the Horizon” (one of their new songs that I have come to love), “I’ll Go Crazy If I Don’t Go Crazy Tonight”, of which the live version was a riff on the dance remix, the band introduction before “Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For”, “One”, and the close with “Moment of Surrender” probably one of their best songs ever.
However, my usual treat of getting a t-shirt and program was mired by the fact that whenever I have a first-born child, I would really like to, oh you know, keep her or him.
All in all an absolutely great show, with Bonnie up and dancing in place and me sitting back like the old man I’ve become singin’ along at the top of my lungs. Yep, I sang! I said that. I f*cking sang! Only U2. Only U2 with my Bonnie and my buddy Dave sitting in the arena opposite somewhere in the crowd. It was a great night. Capped off with a midnight stroll along the lakefront. Yep, it was a beautiful day.
:[ Um, Sarah Palin quit. Why are we still listening to her?
:[ Think about this one for a bit; don’t you think that we are enabling David Hasseloff just a little bit? The guy is not really that talented. Plus, he is simply famous for trying to eat a hamburger while drunk. Sure, there’s “Knight Rider”, but as a kid it’s great, but as a rational human being, it’s stupid. Don’t you think that maybe his instant fame of his YouTube Hamburger Video has more or less made him think that whenever his popularity wanes, he’ll just release another video of himself, drunk off his ass?
And because we want to see that, he will never achieve sobriety? Just thinking...
:[ From the “This Just In” File: Please take note, the crime rate HAS NOT risen despite what you see in the news. For some reason, the reporting of it has gone up again. I wonder why.
:[ The last Item for the Month: The Great Pacific Garbage Patch. This from Wikipedia:
“The Great Pacific Garbage Patch, also described as the Eastern Garbage Patch or the Pacific Trash Vortex, is a gyre of marine litter in the central North Pacific Ocean located roughly between 135° to 155°W and 35° to 42°N and estimated to be twice the size of Texas.[1]”
I have always believed that the great empires of the world have runs of 300 years or so. But, a fellow student in Directing for the Camera back in my Columbia College days pointed out that unlike those past empires, the United States’ population continues to grow exponentially, as does our needs, as does our use of natural resources, while at the same time our resources and materials continue to dwindle in ratio to our growth. We may not last the expected 300 years before we are at each other’s throats in some sort of post-apocalyptic horror.
And believe me when I say it will not be cool like Mad Max/The Road Warrior, or Escape from New York, but grueling and depraved and human beings will be at their worst. Believe me when I say that I am well aware that the US is not the only nation responsible, but that this reminds me of how wasteful we are in general and that sooner or later, it’ll all run out. And on that optimistic note:
That will do it for this month. I know, Patrick Swayze passed away. Again, why wait until he died? Besides, this month was also my little sister’s birthday! So, everybody, raise a glass to the coolest Little Sister on the Planet. And remember "Pain don't hurt."
Until Next Time, “I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control everything really are.”
© 2009 Ernest M. Whiteman III
