Episode III
March – Spring 2010
Hello People of the World;
Well, it looks like we survived yet another “Chicago” Winter. The weather seems to be warming and we can begin to pat ourselves on the back once more making it through yet another wimpy Chicago snowy season. Man, Chicago chokes even when to comes to the weather.
Sure it dumps snow on us for a day to mess with us but all in all, another weak Chicago Winter. At least, in comparisons to the winters I’ve been told about that happened years ago. Also, the Lenten Season is upon us. What did you give up? I gave up writing these on time, Ha!
Let’s get started, shall we? (Careful, there will be swearing!)
:[ First item of the month: Young children are infinitely patient.
This morning while getting my medium coffee with cream and sugar, I noticed the people in front of me had a young child in a stroller; little, cute baby girl maybe a year old or so. She was bundled up for the cold weather, with a heavy pink coat, cutie-pie, white mittens and a pink flap cap and inundated with blankets of all sorts. Her two guardians were ordering breakfast sandwiches and coffee and taking forever. But this little cutie just sat there looking around, not bothered at all.
Later, I saw a mother hoisting her young son, dressed like a little man with baggy jeans, leather coat and a baseball cap. It was funny but he had the same patient look on his face as his mother and grandmother cooed over him about the chilly weather. Little kids are not out of control little thugs. They are just used to their own sense of time and are soooo patient with all the stupid stuff grown-ups dress them in.
Well, I know of one little Boo whom protested being put in a yellow sundress.
And by the way, the reason a baby cries is because they cannot speak and say “HEY SHITHEAD, SOMETHING’S WRONG HERE!” Don’t shush them while you pick up your half-caf Mocha!
:[ Here’s an interesting article about when to give out your SSN.
:[ You know what people? Turn signals help!
:[ I never understood the need to climb up or down escalators. I mean are you that important that you have to shove by everybody whom simply stands on the escalator, or huff and puff in exasperation when you do not want to simply walk the fuck around a person in your way? It’s that simple folk. If you are in such a hurry because you’re late, hurrying is NOT going to make you less late. When you’re late, you’re late! That’s it.
Escalators where made so people with heavy loads or disabilities did not have to struggle up and down stairs. It was made for lazy people like me to simply get up the stairs without huffing and puffing. So, if I’m in your way, you won’t insult me by walking the frick around me, sir. "Yeah, they need you right away."
:[ So, today I got my two DVD copies of the US release of “Red Cliff”. Yep, I ordered both the single disc US theatrical cut and the two disc international cut. Man, I am sooo happy. (It don’t take much, apparently.) I am almost finished rereading volume one of the four-volume edition of “Three Kingdoms”, I have “Dynasty Warriors 6” in the Playstation 2 and “Red Cliff” playing on the DVD player.
I am no longer a Three Kingdoms Snob. I am an addict.
What I absolutely love about the US Cut version of Red Cliff is the fact that the English language track is the default audio track and that they dubbed every single Chinese General or Warlord with overly “American” dubs. They sound like stereotypical Vietnam-Movie characters! It’s funny! Check it out!!!
:[ My review of the titanic movie about terminating aliens in an abyss of piranha 2’s, “Avatar”.
:[ Redshade Productions Update:
Hamlet: Cameras rolled on HAMLET! Whoo-hoo! Of course it was simple screen tests and b-roll footage but I got a good monologue from Lawrence Jahn whom is cast as Polonius.
I am woefully out of practice shooting movies. I need to get my hands dirty again. So, I am planning on shooting another short film with my buddy Cuba and friend Jeannie (Famous newscaster) on a two-minute mystery adaptation starring “A Pair of Normal Investigators whom end up investigating the paranormal”, characters based on a radio program Jeannie and I developed back in Wyoming. So, look out for more news on that.
But my feature film screen writing has stalled, big time. I need to dust off SHOCON, Three Kingdoms, A Rez Tale 2, and Hamlet. I need to get back at it.
:[ I think we established that I live in a building of smokers. I know I cannot do anything about what a person chooses to do in the privacy of their home, but of late the increase of cigarette smoke seeping into my apartment seems to be increasing. I’ve decided to write my landlord about it. So, I think I will need to move again because I do not want to be afflicted with some sort of respiratory ailment.
Besides, who smokes at 7:35 in the morning? Or, another more important question:
Who the fuck smokes at 3:40-fucking-5 in the GADDAMM morning!!??
The fact that I’m fighting off a chest cold as well is not funny.
:[ I saw this pretty, young lady at the train station the other day and could tell she was hitting the tanning beds quite regularly because her skin was the color of roasted meat. You know that slight red tinge a roast gets in the oven? Yeah.
:[ No, this orca whale didn’t go crazy. This Killer Whale went KILLER WHALE! Think of it as a slave revolt.
:[ A lot of news stories about people not filling out the very simplistic Census forms. I’ll bet you these same people gave all their “private” information to Credit Card Companies, Banks, Employers, hell, even to Blockbuster. But because it is the government, then they cry about “PRIVACY”. Wake up folks, thanks to the US Patriot Act, your information isn’t private anymore! Sheesh.
:[ Well, Jay Leno returned to the “Tonight Show” and the ratings skyrocketed again. Like I have always said they would. He had strong support from NBC placing lead-ins shows like Law & Order and other dramas before the late news, which helped the carry-over to his “Tonight Show” return. With Conan O’Brien contractually obligated to not do TV until the fall, Leno gets almost seven months of strong support with strong lead-ins and better ratings as a result.
Well.
In the seven months Conan O’Brien hosted the “Tonight Show”, do you know what his lead-in was? THE JAY LENO SHOW! Conan never had a frickin' chance.
:[ I’ve been on a resale DVD buying jag lately. I must brag about getting the 2-disc Director’s Cut edition of Micahel Mann’s “Manhunter”, his film based on the best Thomas Harris-Hannibal Lector novel “Red Dragon”. While not a perfect adaptation, that will be MY version, it is very much an 80’s Michael Mann film. The DVD is distinct for its red cover. Looking at the back, only 100,000 were produced. I now I own one!
:[ Finally, some clarification on tipping.
:[ You know what I hate in movies? When the protagonist clearly gets shot by the bad guy in the final gun duel and he lies there looking dead while the child or woman or special creature/person he is supposed to be protecting endangers themselves fighting off the bad guy. Then, when it looks like the bad guy is going to win, THE PROTAGONIST JUMPS UP AND DIVES ON THE BAD GUY LIKE HE’S UNHURT!
This means the “Good Guy” was just lying there faking it while the person he is supposed to be saving or protecting nearly gets killed! What a phoney! If they are blasted in the gut with a shotgun they should be dead. Phoney. Sure, he’s dead. So, he’s a dead phoney.
Too many movies are guilty of this and it needs to stop! I’m looking at you “The Only Good Indian”!
:[ Coming Soon to the Redshade Report:
“The Little Man” a short piece on Ernest Eugene Redshade Bearing
“This is where we Smurf! This is where they die!”: An Analysis of Stealing the Identity of The Other as it pertains to James Cameron’s “Avatar”
Part Two of my continuing critique of the Margaret Coel “Wind River Mysteries”
I just simply find the time to sit down and write. Which is why this month’s WOS is so late.
:[ Saw “Tim Burton’s Alica in Wonderland” in 3D. Meh, the 3D added absolutely nothing to the reiteration of Lewis Carrol’s story. Burton made it a sequel rather than an adaptation. I dug the Cheshire Cat but felt Depp underplayed the Mad Hatter, a role that should never be underplayed. It was very Tim-Burton-y.
:[ Hey, you know what? I have the perfect solution to making “The Simpsons” great again! But I’m not saying a thing until someone from the show asks me.
:[ When did people stop caring about anything but “winning”? I know of a couple of 15-year-old gals who have played injured because the focus is on winning rather than simply learning the sport. In fact, one had both ankles with hairline fractures and the coach and folk around her simply told her to ice it and get back on the court. Sheesh! What is this, the ’76 Raiders? Come on! They are kids for crying out loud!
:[ So, now that we've passed Healthcare Reform, can grandma finally get that life-saving operation? And while you're at it wasting taxpayer’s money, can you at least fill a few potholes?
:[ From the “This Just In” File: Of course, Bono of U2 is labeled the “Worst Investor in America”. Funny, since he is not American. And if the title is about investing IN America, he cannot help that America makes inferior crap that makes companies go bust. Oh well.
:[ Last Item of the Month: Potbelly’s New Sandwich.
I saw this ad on the train the other day and I’m sure you have too, espousing their brand new “Skinny” sandwich, the Three Cheese Bacon and Tomato Melt! I never thought of Bacon and Cheese as “Skinny” ingredients. But I think that by skinny they mean to do without the extras, such as lettuce, onion, pickle (The healthy stuff) or condiments. (I was schooled on what a “skinny” sandwich is by my fierce Samantha whom argued loudly with me about it. She did not back down and went for my throat. I’m so proud!)
Anyways, bacon and triple cheese do not a skinny sandwich make, is what I’m sayin’.
:[ Oh, and one last thing: I love laughing at guys who dress like they are the Sh*t. You sees who I mean?
That will do it for this month.
Well, the March lion is still hanging about with its chilly winds and gloomy days. Well, we'll see what happens in the coming weeks. Let me know how you are fairing in the new spring weather. Feel free to comment, argue, or contradict anything you read here. All righty then?
Sorry these have been late the last few months. But I will endeavor to try harder.
Until Next Time, “I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control everything really are.”
© 2010 Ernest M. Whiteman III
