Wisdom of the Sages
Episode XI
November – Autumn 2010
Hello People of the World;
November is upon us. The chill sets in and wood smoke and winter coats appear. This whole month is dedicated to my “Heritage” which is strange because I am Northern Arapaho all of my life. Weird.
This month’s edition is a bit longer but a bit lighter. Oh, you’ll see.
Let’s get started, shall we?
1:[ First Item of the Month: By the time you read this, the mid-term elections should be over. Republicans are cheering a “Rout” while the Democrats agree. I see nothing changing to be honest. In the end, people forget that we keep on electing politicians to office…
2:[ Overhearing yet another conversation on the el train: So, the other day I was catching the Purple Line from the Loop home when two Stock Traders get on at Washington and Welles and proceed to sit across the aisle from each other and have one of those loud conversations that are geared toward dropping knowledge on their jobs just to show off to everyone else on the train whom just want to get home.
There they were complaining about points dropping. One even complained about the government making the banks buy back the bad-faith mortgages and that explains why Bank of America wasn’t trading higher. So, now, his commission would not be that high because of it. Wow. Thomas Wolfe had it right, I guess.
3:[ At long last, people have a legitimate reason to hate Brett Favre! I defended his great quarterbacking skills, as the man is one of the best. But now, he may have destroyed his legacy with one, ill-advised crotch-shot. Sorry Brett, I’m sitting this one out…
4:[ Overheard on the El Train, pt. 2 – Talking about the elections: There I was again on the Red Line south, when two gals jump on and have another of those loud conversations that everyone can hear. I remember one of them saying that before the election she was thinking of changing her vote. The other wanted to stay with her choice. It was a passionate debate about the pros and cons of the candidates. Too bad it was about sorority elections. Yep. That’s the next generation there.
5:[ About a year ago I was railing against the idea of “Free WIFI” at multiple locations being detrimental to creative writing. Now, here I am in the Starbucks (Whom I praised for making you pay.) logging on to their “Free WIFI!”
6:[ I just saw a Fed Ex guy leave a couple of packages with a random person that was simply waiting to get into the office he was knocking at. Sheesh. That’s the problem with postal deliveries. Everyone is in such a hurry.
7:[ And now Wisdom of the Sages presents:
“An Ever-growing List of Things That MUST Stop!”
+ Praising and awarding mediocrity, such as recognizing someone for misspeaking a word as “Making it up” because they are too stupid to know better. When a functional illiterate is celebrated….
+ Dramas in Facebook commentary. Really. C’mon guys…
+ Posting links and articles on the latest atrocities overseas on your MySpace or Facebook all while having a picture of yourself partying it up as your default image. Grow up.
8:[ Turns out, there is a ton of stuff the pilot of your flight is not telling you. Some of it makes quite a bit of sense though. The sad thing is that pilots are unable to form unions for better hours and wages so a lot of them take second and third jobs. So, the next time you fly, you’d better pray your pilots got enough sleep.
9:[ Overheard in the coffee shop: Two Barista Dudes
First barista dude: “Yeah, I’m of two minds on Jim Morrison. He was a genius rock’n’roller and then he was pretentious. He was totally both.”
Other barista dude: “Yeah, totally both.”
That, Kids, is called “Taking the P*SSIFIED ROUTE OUT and hedging your bets to protect your fragile intellectual ego in case the cute gal helping out today has a contrary opinion.
F*ckin’ MAN UP and form a damn opinion, jackass!
10:[ Rats versus Squirrels: Today I happened to be walking down the street when a great-big-ass rat ran across the street. And for reals; it looked just like a squirrel! So, the difference between a rat and a squirrel is simply a fluffy tail. That one trait makes it either loved or despised. Geez, we are such a shallow society. Don’t you all know that BOTH can give us rabies?
11:[ In a demonstration of how desperate things have become in our southern neighbor, a 20-year-old Law Student becomes Police Chief in Mexico town. I love how the comments just immediately wish her bad luck. But, hey, she is trying to clean up a Mexico town and I’m sitting on my butt typing a ‘blog.
12:[ From the “This Just In” file: Long time political prisoner Aung San Suu Kyi has been released from house arrest and looks to revive the democratic party to reform the Myanmar government. I hope she can do it.
Maybe now, U2 can give it a rest, you think?
13:[ Last Item of the Month: You know, I am really beginning to hate the term “Well, thanks anyway”. So, the person you asked tried their best to help but when they cannot tell you where the Macy’s is or if the next train is an express, you say “Well, thank anyway” as if to say “You fucking failed me but I’m still good enough to thank you, ANYWAY, I GUESS”.
Give me a break. If a person tells you they don’t know, they are being honest. A simple “Well, thanks” should suffice. Otherwise you are being an obnoxious ass and believe they don’t deserve a “thanks” for helping but you are so kind to give one, anyway.
Maybe I’m just getting old. I cannot stand today’s music and fashions but I also remember that my folks and folks their age couldn’t stand our music and fashions. See? Justin Beiber and tasseled stocking caps in the summer are just this generation’s “Lief Garret” and silk shirts…. Anyways. You know you're old when you begin talking about one thing and end up talking about another. Now, where was I?
That will do it for this month.
I have to admit that one of the very few things people can agree on is their love for dogs. I swear, when I lead this country to a new glorious dawning, I promise a puppy for every household. How are you going to pay for its care?
Taxes, of course, Sheesh. What are you, an illegal?
Feel free to comment, contradict, hate, love, take out of context or just plain agree with here. Open discussion beats sitting on your butt typing a ‘blog. Right?
Until Next Time, “I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control everything really are.”
© 2010 Ernest M. Whiteman III
