Wisdom of the Sages
Episode III
March – Spring 2011
Hello People of the World;
Looks like winter is hanging in there. Digging its icy claws in deep despite the sunshine and the melting snows. A lot going on in the world but I don’t need to tell you that, with uprisings in Libya and other places Middle East; as well as, Middle West, with Teachers Unions whom fought to maintain in Wisconsin.
Turns out, in both cases the dictator had his way. One had no compunction about trampling the rights of and inflicting harm upon his citizens to prove his grip of power was ironclad and the other is the dictator of Libya. Quick, what are the Bears up to?
On a completely differing note, have you ever noticed how happy the tiniest of booboos are just out in the world? I was walking back to the office and caught sight of this tiny little princess, possibly had just learned to walk and out with grandma and walking and just smiling up a front-tooth only smile that would make angels jealous. Then in the Dunkin’ Donuts I caught the attention of another little princess out with mom and once she had my attention she was all smiles and wiggles. Sweetie. Then I saw a little guy out and about and just saw the pure joy in his face just being out and man, they love life and the world without prejudice.
All of this on just that one walk back to the office. Man, I just hope we don’t fuck it all up for them….
Let’s get started, shall we?
1:[ First item of the month: Looks like my bid for the Mayoral seat of our fair city was a complete bust. I guess you won’t be seeing me taking pictures with various groups, or avoiding answering questions about all the political deals I’ve made. You do not have years of dragging bureaucracy increases in every department, delays in city services nor the parking meter situation getting worse to look forward to during what would have been my tenure. Sorry.
Well, I will admit that I was not Mayoral Material as I was handicapped from the start. You see? I have a need to make sense.
2:[ Oscar Wrap Up: All in all, a pretty boring show this year. Someone forgot to let James Fraco know that he was supposed to host the Oscars. Still, I did love his “I’m just here to host” attitude that he had. No big surprises in the major wins. “Inception” fared better than I had expected. “The Social Network” was robbed I believe. And I didn’t really think it was the Best Picture.
I was sorry Melissa Leo won over Hailee Steinfeld, because Steinfeld carried the dead weight of Jeff Bridges and Josh Brolin on her back in that “True Grit” movie. And those two were the most important characters in the movie!
Michael Douglas was looking pretty good these days-what? Huh? Oh. Kirk Douglas was a riot during his presentation.
For some reason the opening had me thinking I was watching the MTV Movie Awards… Char thought the whole Inception-Dream thing was funny and wanted to see “Inception” which promptly confused her. Sweetie.
All in all, typically boring show.
3:[ I got a haircut today. It was a pretty okay haircut. But, the “stylist” seemed more concerned about her hair. She would trim a little off mine, turn my head, and then say “It’s even, right.” A statement, not a question. “It looks good, right.” Again, a statement.
Every time I look up into the mirror, she would be looking at herself. Really. So, that accounts for my ordinary haircut of late. Still, danged weird.
4:[ One of the Great Social Levelers: No matter where you come from in Chicago, whenever a train pulls into the final station and stops and everyone gets up to get off, but then, the train lurches forward again to pull completely into the station, everyone is lurched to and fro.
Just then, every one gets this really mad look on their faces at the same time. Then they all look toward the front of the train like the driver can see them being mad about being lurched. As if the CTA had betrayed them about when to get out of their seats and now they’ve been kind of embarrassed by being lurched. As if getting mad about it is going to do anything.
5:[ Overheard in the Coffee Shop/El Train: A continuing series:
On the traint, some teeny boppy college girl used the term “Bucket List” in the context of her friends and her going out to party or something that weekend. “Yeah, we made like a bucket list of all the things we’re gonna do and stuff.” From my understanding, the term stems from a list of thing you want to do before you “kick the bucket” or die, to put it another way. Plus, the term was coined fairly recently from what I gather, so the warranty that keeps it from becoming a dumb person’s word is pretty short…
I was sitting in the Starbucks when this older, stocky Eastern European guy sat down with a cell phone attached to his ear and he was very much talking like a teenager with all the “like, like, likes” in place. It was weird to hear this obviously Old World Pol speak like that. I believe he said, “and, blah, blah, blah” as well…
So one of these cool hipster baristas said to the other, “Oh, I went and saw ‘Hall Pass’ this weekend…” There are no more film lovers.
6:[ Have you ever noticed how we instantly attribute the aspects of bad news to the bearer of the message, sort of like killing the messenger but imposing the bad traits of the situation onto the person simply delivering the information?
For example, I have a crush on one of the tellers of the bank in the grocery store I shop regularly. She’s a pretty dark-haired lady I figured to be Latina or possibly Native. I’d walk by and from time to time and sometimes get a smile from her. So, the other day I needed to get a cashier’s check and who should assist me but my crush. She turns out to be Middle Eastern, and she has a crazy cute accent.
Anyways, it also turns out that my bank, which was bought up by another bank in the bank crashes of 2007 and now they are discontinuing all the free services my former bank offered because, why not, they have my money hostage now. I will now be charged a minimum balance fee, which was imposed, and all the free cashier’s checks and money orders will cost, to which she asked if the amount charged was okay. To which I could only reply “Yeah, I don’t really have a choice do I?”
And while we waited for the check to print she goes over the services-offered checklist all the tellers and bankers go over whenever I’m forced to go to one of the desks. “Credit card with some unheard of rate? “Second checking account? “You know you can pay bills online?” and so on and so forth. Suddenly, she was just a member of the corporation doing her job and I was just simply her customer. Suddenly, she represented all the bad things the bank represented in my mind. My crush faded a bit at being treated like one of the faceless masses.
Crummy, I know. But I’ve seen other people get mad about something the cashier or the clerk cannot help and they place all the blame on the minimum-wager doing the best they can. Funny, how we do that….
7:[ And now Wisdom of the Sages presents:
“An Ever-growing List of Things That MUST Stop!”
+ People walking into the streets; I know that pedestrians have the Right of Way at the crosswalks but come on, walking out into the street like you just don’t care gets tiresome. I’ll bet you’ll get all angry and litigious when you finally get your ass blasted by a car.
+ Honking… like that really helps. Honking as you fly past a slow driver or left-turner or a pedestrian with the Right of Way does NOTHING. It only publicizes your impotence….
+ Using words that do not pertain to you or of which you do not know the meaning… (SEE: “Bucket List” above) Recently, I had to tell Charlotte that she was using the word “ironically” incorrectly. She thought it meant “sadly”. Looking at how the word is used, and mostly thanks to Alanis Morrisette, I could see how one could derive that definition…
+ Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace being released in 3D… Please, Lucas, give us something new man. Seriously.
+ Hey, once you step out of line to grab one more thing, you are OUT OF THE LINE! Don’t think you can just jump right back in where you were because you left your brownies and chips on the counter there…
+ Why is it whenever I get on a beer-or-B-O stinky train, from some bum that slept there the night before, that everyone who gets on after immediately shoots me a dirty look like I’m the stinky and drunk one? I could be in my Sunday Best and I’ll still get the looks…. What ever that is, that needs to stop.
8:[ Have you ever seen those hipsters on the trains or busses that try to dress like rodeo clowns that frequent the Salvation Army Stores? But once you see them up close realize that all of their dingy coats and ratty cargos and heavy boots are really clean and pressed and they all have labels on them? Suddenly, they pull out the super fancy, techno-phone gadget of the moment and start poking at it, plugging in their ear buds to hear whatever whiny, ambient BS music they listen to these days…
Phonies. All of them.
Geez, I’m old….
9:[ From the “This Just In” Department: The State of Wyoming lives up to its “The Equality State” moniker by blocking passage, overwhelmingly in a Republican-controlled house, of a bill that would have not recognized same-sex marriages or civil unions obtained legally in other states.
But it still suffers from smog worse than LA due to the constant gas refinement going on there.
10:[ Last Item of the Month: Both a tsunami and a fricking earthquake hit Japan this morning. All I hear on the radio is how it fucking affects us. The west cost will get some major swells and Pearl Harbor already reported 30-foot waves but nothing a few hours warning didn’t take care of. But the Japanese lost thousands of people in a quick amount of time and all we can think about is how it affects us… wow.
I swear with the earthquake and tsunami and the following explosions at their nuclear energy plants, they could not be having a worse time of it. I hope we can get off our duffs and help out in some positive way.
That will do it for this month.
Isn’t it convenient that we have Charlie Sheen to distract us from the protests in Wisconsin and the stripping of collective bargaining rights for teachers? (Why teachers? Why do we hate teachers?) ”Nothing to see here. LOOK! CHARLIE SHEEN’S FLIPPING THE FvCK OUT!" Collectivist Enforcers = #winning!
Also, CLICK HERE for the latest Episode of Wisdom of the Sages Video! A short montage on my hands. Upcoming videos include NATIVE PRIDE, a video about Natives reading books in movies, maybe a Top Ten list or two. How about a video on my collections, such as my Batman figures, DVD’s or the like? You can let me know what to make a video on as well. Maybe a movie or book review? The possibilities are up to you and what I can justify as non-embarassing….
Until Next Time, “I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control everything really are.”
© 2011 Ernest M. Whiteman III
