Wisdom of the Sages
Episode IV
April – Spring 2011
Hello People of the World;
You know what? Snow. Snow I understand. It’s officially Spring now and snow keeps coming unexpectedly. And most folk have a right to bitch about it. But rain? Come on. Why do people act all surprised when the lightning’s crashing and the poison arrows from Heaven fall, like THAT was unexpected FOR SPRING!?!?!? What?
It seems to be finally warming up. Maybe I can go outside and stretch me legs out a bit. We’re in for a rainy spring this year, I believe. So, just remember, there is something to be learned from a rainstorm.
Let’s get started, shall we?
1:[ First item of the month: Turns out “Good Credit” is bad for you. Here’s a link to a story about a woman who did everything correct. She paid a lot of her bills and such, on time. She used cash when she could. She cleared her debts in a timely manner (she paid off her student loans!) and she even has a great “credit score”.
But when she applied for a mortgage loan, she was turned down for having “light credit”. Seriously, how f*cked up is that? I mean even when you do things right you are turned down. The reason is, I think, is that the loan institutions make more money selling off bad mortgages to banks.
Bonnie says she remember when she took out a mortgage when she had good credit. She was approved instantly. Man, how times have changed.
I recently watched the documentary “Inside Job” about the banking crash of 2008. It’s maddening to see how these people got away with collapsing our economy and the taxpayer has to suffer while bank CEO’s got huge bonuses. Not only that, this culture of greed and bonuses is being taught to the next generation of financial students at places like Harvard, Columbia and Stanford. I recommend you check this doc out.
2:[ Signing into a job-seeking website, instead of the grad program pop-up that usually appears, I get an ad for selling AVON Products. What is my Monster Account trying to tell me?
Anyone?
After the whole horoscope thing, I am beginning to believe that the Internets think I am a woman! I just don’t think I am patient enough or smart enough to be a woman. Honestly…
3:[ Am loving the new REM single “Oh My Heart”. It has been awhile since I took a listen to what the boys from Athens, Georgia have been up to. I tuned out after “Monster” thinking they peaked with “Automatic for the People”. Then, “Monster” hit after, this was when U2 changed their sound with “Achtung Baby!” and almost every band went through a sound change, including Def Leppard, who put out a greatly underrated album “Slang”. After that, R.E.M. shifted back to the pop music jangle of “Out of Time” and seemed to replicated that over and over that I couldn’t get into their catalog again.
Then, the other day, cruising the internet I stumble upon “Oh My Heart” and thought it was great. So I thought it was about time to give them another listen. I was blown away. I am saving up to buy their album because the clips I’ve heard on the album seems to sound good. So, I’ll try them once again. With Robbie Robertson and REM putting out new albums, all I need are new ones by the BoDeans and U2 and I’ll be back in high school again, sonically….
4:[ I’m ahead of my time, as always: I gave my nice, warm Carhartt coat to Bonnie to weather the Chicago winters some time ago and she has not gone a single winter without someone complimenting her on her coat. CArharrt is a great coat maker. They help the citizens of the Western Mountain regions to weather the crazy extremes we have out there. To me they always symbolized the rugged western culture that I grew up in. So now, it seems that Carhartt is going to open a “Boutique” in Wicker Park to sell to the Hipster Geek crowd.
So, when you zip up a nice warm Carhartt coat, thinking you’re on the hipster-geek-grunge tip, silently give me thanks for introducing your newfound cool to the masses…
5:[ I overheard my Bonnie talking on the phone when a thought hit me:
When a customer service person DOES NOT tell you what you want to hear, would you still tell them “You’ve been very helpful”?
6:[ This one time, while I was at the store I came out of an aisle and this cute gal cuts me off. It was one of those situations when there was little room to move, because of the item displays and lines of people at the registers. So, I motion for her to go first, then she waves me off, I nod and take a step. She cuts me off again.
I smile and gesture for her to go first, again. This time adding, “Please.” To which she says, “No, go ahead.”
We stand there being polite for a second without moving, so I take another step. She cuts me off again. I stop and gesture for her. She refuses. This time I say, “Okay, I’m going…” I step. She cuts me off, again!
This time she has the f^cking gall to say “Seriously?!” Like I’m screwing around with her. Yeah, three hours of waiting for a woman to cut me off so I can screw with her head finally paid off! So, I just say, “Well, I’m going.” Again. I walk on without looking back. Man, why was she such a jerk?
Still, she danced better than my last date. (ZING! No wait, that sucked…)
7:[ And now Wisdom of the Sages presents:
“An Ever-growing List of Things That MUST Stop!”
+ People please, clean out the lint traps after you’re done with the dryer…
+ Bitching about comic book based movies… Come on guys, they are seriously not making the movies for you. You really think you have that much sway over the movie industry?
+ Bedhead as a fashionable hairstyle: Seriously, I don’t care how cute you are with your rose petal lips and big, sleepy blue eyes, standing in line at the 7-11 with your cup of coffee and college backpack… standing there looking all pretty with your shaggy hair-wait, what was I saying?
+ The NOOK Sales guy at the B&N needs to stop taking time out of his day pushing overpriced technology at us to browse the paper magazines….
+ Charlie Sheen and this general approval of the Mediocre….
+ Remakes of Crappy movies… yeah, I said that. And about that movie, too.
8:[ People do not know how much of the world is sold to us on a daily, subtle basis. I was thinking about the Gangster Rap Culture and how it has been pretty much sanitized, wrapped up in glossy packaging and sold to us. There was a time when dressing like a thug meant something dangerous. Now, Ice Cube is directing Disney movies. The same thing is happening with the Selling of Geek Culture.
You see the Hipster versions with the black, plastic frame glasses and plaid shirts and secondhand-looking clothing running around everywhere. Everyone is wearing look-smart glasses now with stocking caps in the summer time and long neck scarves. The appearance of looking smart is more important than having intelligence now days it seems. And we buy it up. Just another trend we've all bought into. Sorry, we really aren't smarter than that.
You know why gas prices and food prices and Internet prices and phone rates keep going up despite public outcry? Simple: We will pay for it. No matter what….
9:[ From the “This Just In” Department: So now we have the first enrolled Native American woman to be drafted into the WNBA. Yep. Tahnee Robinson, from my home rez, the Wind River Reservation, was drafted by the Phoenix Mercury out of the University of Nevada after leading them to a few stellar years. Pretty cool. Looking forward to keeping up with her career and maybe seeing her when she plays the Chicago Sky. Yeah, I’m sure there will be a few grumblers out there. But I still think this is cool.
10:[ Last Item of the Month: Sorry to announce this folks, but the Hipster Era is ended. Driving in the city with My Bonnie I saw what appeared to be a Hipster Parent.
Yep. Once the parents join in, it’s not cool any more.
This was a mom wearing one of those sh*tty pinched, plaid golf caps, with those black, stupid square-shouldered jackets with skinny sleeves, button epaulets, the millions of pockets and the faux-wool lined collar. Packing her grade school aged kids into her Honda Hybrid in her skinny pants, big shoes and fingerless gloves just signaled the end for me.
The Hipster Era may not have died instantly, but the countdown has begun!
That will do it for this month.
The latest edition of “Wisdom of the Sages Video” should be coming out for you very soon. I know you’ve been wondering all about it. Here is the YouTube playlist in case any of you missed it. Otherwise, I do hope the world has been treating you well. Feel free to comment on anything I’ve writ, because if we cannot have a discourse on any topic then we cannot begin to work out the wrongs of the world.
Also, please be aware that my next major review “Reading Alone for Thousands of Hours: My Review of Three Kingdoms” will be posted very soon. I had to do a bit of research before I gave my opinions on what has become my most favorite book of all time. Keep a look out for it on “The Redshade Report.”
Until Next Time, “I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control everything really are.”
© 2011 Ernest M. Whiteman III
