WISDOM OF THE SAGES
Episode IV
APRIL – SPRING 2012
Hello People of the World;
Looks like the spring weather is upon us. Oh-Em-Gee! Where did that come from? It’s as if the very earth we stand upon suddenly turned more towards the sun, so unexpected-like, catching all of us so very unawares! Oh’s-no! Warmer and/or cooler, spring-like weather! Woe is we!
Anyways. Tax season is upon us. By the time you read this, you should have yours filed. Right? Well, the next time someone asks if I paid my dues, I’ll look that sucker right in the eyes, “Have you paid you dues, Ernest?” Yes, sir, the checks are in the mail…. A little Jack Burton quote for ya…. Again, anyways.
Let’s get started, shall we?
1:[ First item of the month: There has been recent news made of the PAL-V “Flying Car”. It is supposed to be a car that unfolds wings and flies. It has made several recent test flights and has been deemed successful enough for the makers to seek funding for mass-production. Now, years ago and in this very weblog my big brother Dalco made a very simple remark as to why we will probably NEVER have flying cars, “What would you do if the engine stalled?”
Dalco, being a former US Marine in one of their fighter jet divisions, said that the US population is, unfortunately, NOT trained pilots. What would you do if on your way to Spacely’s Sprockets and your engine dies? Simple. We will never have flying cars for the mass population. Let’s face it: car crashes will go up, flying accidents will go up and car insurance will skyrocket…. (May be incentive enough for Insurance Lobby to back them!!)
2:[ You know what? I really have no respect for people without integrity enough to be responsible for their actions, letting other people take the heat and the fall for things you participated in yourself and you got a pass simply because you are “likeable”…. So, as you would have guessed, I am not sympathetic over the death of Dick Clark, sorry….
Instead, I am going to talk about the upcoming Ford Mustang re-design. In an effort to widen its appeal internationally, the Ford Motor Company is thinking about redesigning the Mustang into a more elegant, streamlined, very European design. Of course, seeing the comments on the article, people hate the idea. I am a big fan of the Mustang. It’s my dream car. I loved the retro design that spurred its return to the motor world. But I have to say that I really couldn’t care less about this. It’s a frickin’ car people. Grow up.
3:[ More MOVIE TIME ADVENTURES:
+ The Raid: Redemption, Five Guys and Bonnie – So, my Bonnie and I snuck out for an evening and visited Five Guys Restaurant in Evanston before seeing a flick. She had never been before. I go there every free chance I get. She declared it “great”. We then went to see The Raid: Redemption. Honestly? I wish I could have liked it better, because thinking back on it, Bonnie and I felt that it was exactly what it promoted itself to be, wall-to-wall action. Though I would argue that there was no raid, and most certainly no redemption involved. Just a bunch of sweaty men screaming at each other as they proceed to beat the crap out of each other in semi-inventive ways. All the screaming and fighting reminded me of THIS and I couldn’t help but laugh out loud during the movie, much to the chagrin of the manly-man movie geeks watching the “fill-im” with us….
+ So, on another occasion I found myself back in Evanston to attend the Casablanca: 70th Anniversary screening to celebrate the Blu-Ray release. I have to tell you, they just don’t make movies like this anymore. (As stated in last month’s edition.) You cannot go wrong with Bogart and Bergman and WWII intrigue and romance. I also was able to visit Five Guys and enjoy a meal….
+ After a long day of exploring downtown Chicago, my Boo and I decided to catch John Carter in 3D because she wanted to see the Rivers East 21 theater. I must admit that I did like the film and am kind of sorry it did not catch on as Disney hoped it would. The 3D was adequate and the story was fun and the action aplenty. I would recommend it on its fun quotient alone….
+ Charlotte had been wanting to see Bully, the documentary about bullying since she read about it. So, last weekend we took her. She thought it was sad and she felt for the kids depicted in the film. I felt it was thought-provoking but felt that it relied a little too much on trying to evoke emotional responses to bullying rather than exploring logical answers, promoting their national movement rather than trying to explore root causes of bullying. It felt a bit manipulative in my book. (Which cine-heads would say, “Yes, that’s what GOOD docs do.” But only when it agrees with their POV. Then, it’s propaganda. Sheesh.) Still, it is a well-put-together documentary that gets the job done…. (If the job is to manipulate you into a reaction….)
+ Cuba Talk: A New Feature Featuring one of my best friends, Christian Cuba….
He asked me what would be a movie that served as a good prequel in my opinion. I told him “Dumb and Dumberer”. He looked at me incredulously but I explained it does everything a prequel should, explains their origins, gives them an immediate problem/story to overcome and it sets up the overall situation of the next film. He never said that the movie itself had to be good but that it had to be a good prequel. When pressed for a good prequel that was also a good movie, I submitted “The Godfather” as the greatest prequel, because every film is a prequel to its own sequel….
4:[ LOSER STAUS: CONFIRMED - Of toothbrushes and towels
Recently, I had noticed that my toothbrush was wearing out and so I bought a new one to use. But I have this thing that I do not like using the new thing, right away. I gave myself until I ran out of toothpaste to switch brushes. I just kept buying cheap toothpaste. I also love the Arm & Hammer Peroxide and Baking Soda with Mint toothpaste that I bought two tubes during a sale at the store and I refused to use them until all my other toothpaste was gone! I kept stalling and stalling.
The same goes for the new towel I bought recently. I just cannot bring myself to use it until I really have to. Rats. I am that way mainly about sketchbooks. Once I draw something in them I quit carrying them around. My man-purses are filled with blank sketchbooks because I cannot bring myself to ruin them. Anyways.
I finally had to buy two more toothbrushes and started to use one of them. But I did start using a tube of the baking soda paste…. There’s that anyway…. Don’t worry, I have a spare….
5:[ Ah yes, settle in Readers for more of:
Adventures at the Coffee Shop!
+ I guess I am becoming a “regular” at the corner coffee shop that the baristas will always try to have my drink ready by the time I order. But lately, I have been throwing them off. Not out of some deep strategic nonchalance (Is that possible?) but the swift changes in climate have prompted me to switch between iced and regular beverages and between coffee and tea, depending on time of day. I admit that I do feel a bit guilty when their friendly “I’m helping you” face drops in disappointment. But I do like keeping them on their toes, play it mysterious, because a Native man is nothing, if not mysterious. Am I right, ladies? (…crickets.)
+ I noticed that some places only have “SUGAR IN THE RAW” available. So much for freedom, hey? Don’t force your politics on me. Just give me coffee and sugar, dammit!
+ Part Two: Barista
So, after some time I decided to ask the Barista about her search for her tribal heritage was going. She then proceeded to explain to me the same situation as before. So, I suggested a good starting place for her and her mother to begin to look. Weeks later, she tells me that they have no idea of their great-grandmother’s last name, which where I suggested they start. So, in our discussions, we narrowed it down to the southeast tribes. But all in all, it was a good thing to run into her. She did spout some common stereotypes, but she’s a good kid and remains very interested. We’ll see…
6:[ Cuba and I had occasion to attend C2E2 this last weekend at the McCormick Center in downtown Chicago. It is the largest comics and entertainment expo in the city. Technically, Wizard World happens in Rosemont. I try not to spend money at these things but I decided I would keep an eye out for any cool Batman figures. I was able to meet up with my friend Sharon there. Attend some panels. The Anthony Daniels Q&A was fun and funny. The Nikita Q&A was a jip because Maggie Q was a no-show. (BOO!) Had to attend the Walking Dead because Cuba is a fan of the actress that was there. The Val Kilmer Q&A was pretty cool. I wanted to ask him about the mysterious Heat sequel but it completely slipped my mind!
So, as you would guess, Cuba and I ending up having some very geek discussions, i.e.: Has a Kryptonian ever been selected as a Green Lantern? (Which Charlotte brought up after seeing Green Lantern.) As for myself, I wondered why, Scarecrow, or Batman or any of the other DC superheroes for that matter retained their costumes during a Green Lantern event where various Lantern Armies handed power rings out ad nausea to various characters, sort of inducting them into the various Lantern Armies. What set this off was a Scarecrow Lantern action figure where the character, despite getting a great source of power that bends to his imagination, he retained the straw hair, burlap bag mask, pilgrim hat and scythe when he should have just put on a Lantern costume…. See what I mean? Geeky. Anyways. It’s always a fun time to see grown-ups in full superhero costumes…. …and laugh at them….
7:[ And now Wisdom of the Sages presents:
“An Ever-growing List of Things That MUST Stop!”
+ Lottery PR must Stop! It raises too many people’s hopes. How many of us truly believe that we won? I have a tendency to not even check the numbers when I played during a winning draw. I’d much rather live with the fantasy of winning in my head than to be crushed with the reality of losing again. But the news and media really, really, really pump up the hype of the lottery. They run possible scenarios as NEWS! NEWS! Come on…. Lottery Hype needs to stop….
+ Jaywalkers…. Period. And not just any jaywalkers, those idiots that are literally steps, STEPS from a crosswalk where they would have immediate right-of-way! Also, those morons that exit the driver’s side and just start walking across the street from there. Man…. That has to stop….
+ Stop texting while you drive and keep your damn eyes on the road!!!
+ Why is it that when I’m at the crosswalk the cars suddenly seem like they are going 10mph? Can’t they see that I need to get across the street? Actually, I should be grateful that they do go the speed limit or slower. It means they are careful drivers and we need to foster that. My selfish hurrying at the crosswalk must stop….
8:[ Believe it or not, I did have a longer “Ego” rant from last month’s edition. I read it out to Bonnie who recommended that I shorten it. I got after everyone and I figured that it was not in the spirit of the rest of the blog last month, the tone of thankfulness. Oh well, maybe I’ll adapt it into one of my performance readings that I had occasion to do at that party back in February. I am trying to get to more open mics and such but have not found the time. So, if I were to sign up for an open mic, would you attend? Let me know….
9:[ From the “This Just In” Department: I guess there was a Tupac Shakur hologram that appeared at some pseudo-hippie concert last week. Yeah, nothing says “HARDCORE GANSTA” than exploiting the dead so you can wear your stupid fist-sized ring and clown necklaces and pretend you respected him all along…. Let him rest, people…. Please….
10:[ Last Item of the Month: See what happens when I play it nice? I tempered my output in last month’s edition and sprinkled it with niceties of being thankful. And you know what? No one read it, or made any comments on it. Even my Bonnie said she found it boring. So, when I play it nice…. No one reads… No one (dramatic pause) …remembers…. (drama fist)…. And, scene….
That will do it for this month.
I hope that the federal deadline didn’t tax you too much. Ha! See what I did there? (crickets again….) So, I invite you to comment, correct, or contradict anything I post here, because you can. Simple as that. I hope this finds you well otherwise. Sorry about the lateness of the last two editions, man, I am losing ground here. I need to start sticking to my deadlines. Oh wel….
Until Next Time, “I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control everything really are.”
© 2012 Ernest M. Whiteman III
