WISDOM OF THE
SAGES
EPISODE
TWELVE – WINTER 2015
Hello People of the World;
Here we are at the end of yet another year. It’s
all, like, time passes, you know? The main grumble now is how much it has been
raining of late. Seriously, people are complaining that this winter is not as
savage as in years past, like they are some sort of hardy warrior-survivalists
yet, when the snow does come and the temperature really drops, you know what
they will do: fucking complain.
Get a grip people, there is an explanation for this
wet winter – El Ninós, the super huge hurricane you cared nothing about because
it hit Mexico. But you are reaping the benefits of the destruction of the
Mexico coast via hurricane and you bitch. Oh well. Next thing you know, you
will complain about the turning of the Earth.
On that note, let’s get this month’s edition
started, shall we:
1
:[ The
Irony of Cell Phones: I remember one of the main selling points of turning our
lives over to our handheld overlords what the idea that all of our stuff –
documents, music, videos, spreadsheets, messaging, cameras, images, internet,
Buzzfeed quizzes, and all manner of other important stuffs were to be held in
one singular, small, handheld device, of and our phones. We marveled at how our
phones, our texts, our games, our beats, our recorders, our menus, our likes,
our followers our fans, our bands, our business, our families, are contain on
this Space Age-like miracle device. So that all this would free up our desk
spaces and make it easier for us to get all of our work done and have more time
for the really important things like getting ourselves entertained, or at
least, some semblance of a life.
But what do we do with all this new free time we
have? Stare at our cell phones. All the time.
It is amazing how close our society has come to
that depicted in George Lucas’ THX-1138. Where the Billboard Jesus
Confessionals constantly proclaim: “Let us be thankful we have commerce. Buy
more. Buy more now. Buy more and be happy.”
Not only do we equate Happiness with Consumerism,
we also equate Consumerism as Personality: We are whose Brand we Buy. Even the
poorest among us seek out brands. Look at how much we spend on something like
SHOES! In the schools I visit, the new think is BELT BUCKLES! They have to be the
right brands to show you are a personality.
Look at how much of our environment is covered in
advertisement: The Inescapable Landscape. We like to think that we are smarter
than the media but our minds are like subconscious sponges that take in things merely
at a glance and influences our behaviors. Which is why we keep returning our
eyes to the cell phone screens because we have subconsciously learned that to
not look at them means being left out of something, and our personality and
egos cannot allow that.
2
:[ So, at
the Millennium Park Metra Station (You know, where Batman rode his Batpod
through in “The Dark Knight”?), I ended up sharing a table with a stranger at
the Evil Starbucks there. It was no problem. I do not take up much room. But I
noticed how much other people, for some reason, simply spread everything, tha
fuck, out when they sit by themselves. Like they are thinking, “Eww, people.” I
hate it when this happens on the trains too.
Anyways, I got to the station early to catch the
South Chicago train to one of my AYV schools. I had time to kill, so I got a
hot chocolate, my favorite of late and I was lucky enough to find a table
there. As any of you know, the Millennium Park Evil Starbucks is crowded as a,
uh, well, a train station coffee shop, I guess. So, I sit and try not to spread
out too much.
Later, a fellow arrives, looks about and asks if he
can sit at the table. Since the place is crowded and the tables are filled with
a single person and all their shit, I sure “Sure”. It was no problem. He did
not hit on me. Nor did he try anything weird. He did not even talk to me. We
just sat and drank our drinks in relative silence. After, he was done, he
stood, and in an effort to be nice to a fellow human being I said, “Have a nice
day.”
He replied with the same, with a really grateful
look on his face, “You too, have a nice day.”
I think from now on whenever I get into coffee
shops and find a table alone, I should post a sign: “Table to Share. Do not photograph
the Indian.” That last part is a joke. (Or maybe, “Share a table with a real
Northern Arapaho!”)
3
:[ Our
Walking Face: Being a people watcher, you come across unexpected discoveries
that make us all one single species of humanity. Like for instance, did you
know that whenever a person is walking by themselves, not with a group of
friends or on the phone, they have a “Walking Face”. I am sure you have seen
them in your own “People Watching” and may have noticed it when you are walking
yourself, on your own.
You put on either a furrowed brow of frown-y
concentration, or try a placid, blank, neutral face that is non-offensive or
non-aggressive because you are a nice person but do not want to be smug in your
self-satisfied, nice person-ness. The Walking Face. Look for it. See it. Enjoy
it.
4
:[ It
seems as if I have become a regular at the DePaul Campus Barnes and Noble
coffee shop. On more than one occasion, when I have walked up to the register,
I have been called by name, “Hey Basil! Venté hot chocolate?” Which is weird
because I only gave them my name once, to someone else actually, months ago. I
like to tease Bonnie about it, because they baristas are mostly college coeds.
Look, I also know that being friendly does not mean flirting. They’re baristas
who have to be friendly to everyone. It is their job.
What I find terribly humorous about this is that
some think that I any sort of game. I am just being friendly in return. Plus, I
always keep that in mind: friendly does not mean flirting. Why would they flirt
with the likes of me? Look, I was told once I am “Reasonably Handsome” meaning:
they need a reason to find me handsome, i.e. – look, you’re the last man on
earth, and you’re okay looking. Which, I found to be hysterical.
I have also been told that I am a horrible flirt,
but honestly, that is just the flip side of “Friendly does not mean Flirting”
coin. I am simply listening and I have been told that women are not used to
that. I am an ugly, old, fat man, so my prospects are not at all in play. I do
not even begin to delude myself. I have just become a regular at the DePaul
Campus Barnes and Noble coffee shop.
5
:[ My Best
Of Lists should be up very soon. Every year for the past five or six, I have
been posting what I think were the best movies I have seen that year. I had
hoped it would serve as a gate way to some discussion but I find that having an
opinion is, somehow, something “sacred” and people want theirs to be relevant
so they barely put their opinions out there unless it sides on something so
obvious and easy to get behind and support, like removing the mayor for
covering up a shooting.
But when it comes to defending why you love a
shitty movie, not, my tastes are mine and my horrible opinion about a horrible
movie is still just an opinion and carries no weight in changing minds, then
people seem to not want to think about things, to be critical thinkers about
it, about anything. Yeah, but so does your liking a movie and having a positive
reaction/opinion, it is still just an opinion and bears no weight in changing
minds. But you think yours is something awesome because it is positive.
Anyways, I put my opinions out there, unafraid. You can check out that list by
CLICKING HERE on January 1, 2016.
6
:[ I have
been writing a series of notes on Geekhood and posting them on Facebook. I have
been dealing with my own eventual irrelevancy of late. I am trying to find
comfort in knowing that I will not be needed to progress society any further
than I can. My notes deal with how much Geekdom doomed itself by becoming a
zeitgeist.
7
:[ I am a
creature of habit; we all are if you think about it. Which is why we cry and
whine and scream when we think our country is changing. It’s not, folks.
Really. It means that the powers-that-be has deemed you, your habits, your
interests, and your lifestyle, irrelevant to its own interests and have began
focusing on the younger generations of audience and consumers. Meaning: you
simply are not worth advertising to anymore. That is all.
The country is not collapsing into a quagmire of
socialist tyrannies. The gay agenda and legal weed are not Political Social
Justice Movements, nor are they things trying to take over your world, so much
as they are just new audiences to sell shit too. Our generation wanted the blue
box. The previous one wanted the red ball. This generation wants a pink
triangle, and the corporations will find a way to market it big time to the
largest, youngest demographic that has the largest spending power using
disposable credit. Sure, we have loudmouth blowhards, and dimwitted politicos
telling us these are the true problems, and that the solution is to elect them
because they are “saying what people are thinking”. But they are not. They are
simply the passing of the last generation’s greed (to steal a line from
Chaplin) and are the sound of our own impending irrelevance.
What is all comes down to is: are we going to keep
playing the “I have to get me one of those” Game? Are our habits our own, or
where they created by an external factor?
8
:[ You
know what? Speaking of cell phones, another thing I have noticed is how they
have allowed us to bring our personal drama with us where ever we go and that
we get subject innumerable strangers to our whining, cajoling bullshit on a
constant basis! Seriously, I never hear anything productive coming from the
conversations that I am forced to overhear because this person on their iPhone6
just has to talk about this right now or show to the filthy peasant just how
fucking important they are back at the office. Sheesh!
9
:[ My
little girl is always trying to find ways to call me a “NEEEERRRRRRRRRD!” So,
when I told her I wrote a 30-page review of the Margaret Coel Wind River
Mystery Series, she states, “So, you write essays, for fun?” Then points at me
“NEEEERRRRRRRRRD!” Yeah, I have to admit, I write essays for fun.
In addition to the Coel Series essay, I wrote one
on the meaning of the watch in Ozu’s Tokyo Story. I wrote one on what the Nolan
Batman Trilogy meant to me. I wrote two or three on Native Americans in Media
and the Authorship of Expertise concerning Native Cultural information. I am
working on a defense of “Man of Steel”, an expansion of the one I wrote on the
Maturation of Han Solo, I am writing some short fun ones on whether or not
certain films are really masterpieces. So, the writing plate is pretty full.
All of which you can read here and my other blogs should I post them.
That will do it for this month.
Wouldn’t you know it? It snows as the time for
posting this nears and, surprise, everyone is complaining! There are the fakers
that are pretending to have wanted snow. No one wants snow. Be real. I must
admit I get giddy walking through a heavy snow, slipping and sliding. It serves
as a reminder that we are not the masters of this planet. That something as
small as frozen water can bring us low. Plus, it is just fun to trudge through
snow. It makes me feel like a kid again for some reason.
I guess I will see you next year. Who knows, I may
start posting these to Facebook and publicizing it once again. Let me know what
you think as always, feel free to comment, correct, or contradict anything you
read here. My ego is such that I think I can take it. I dare you. “Think you
can take me? Well go ahead on. It’s your move.”
Until next month, remember “I try to show the
schemers how pathetic their attempts to control everything really are.”
2015 Ernest M Whiteman III
