WISDOM OF THE
SAGES
EPISODE THREE
– SPRING 2016
Hello People of the World;
So, it snowed a bit after a very mild winter and
now people are pretending that that is just how it is in Chicago. Get real.
Now, we are getting the typical “Chicago Weather” memes online: There are only
two seasons in Chicago: Pot Hole Season and Street Repair Season. Geez. What
ever it takes to make us soooo special. We are such babies.
These memes forgot the other seasons of Chicago
Weather: Spring Season, Where’s the Green? Season, Why Hasn’t It Rained Yet?
Season, It’s So Rainy Season, It’s Too Cold for Summer, It’s Too Hot for
Summer! HOTTEST SUMMER YET!!, Why is It Raining In Fall? It’s Still Too Warm
for Fall! It’s Too Damn Cold for Fall, I LOVE FALL!, Wait, it’s Supposed to be
Like this? Where’s the Snow? It’s Freezing! CHRISTMAS!!!, Too Much Snow! REAL
CHICAGOANS FUCKING LOVE SNOW! WHY IS THERE STILL SNOW?!?!? I HATE SNOW!!! REAL
CHICAGOANS HATE SNOW! And there is my favorite: “WAAAAAAHHHHHHH, WEATHER!!!!!
Season.
On that fair note, let’s get this month’s edition
started, shall we:
1
:[ I just
heard a radio ad that stated: since you could not build your son a tree house,
buy beer and get drunk instead… Wow. Yeah, the character talks about how he
went to the “Home Depot”-esque store to build his son the greatest tree house
ever. I thought it was an ad for Home Depot and their “friendly service” that
helps this dad triumph. But instead, the character states that he failed and so
now he is just sitting at home with an ice cold Bud. Wow.
2
:[ Of late
I have been obsessed with Mint M&M’s. For some reason, I cannot find them
anywhere else but my local Walgreen’s store. I must either be crazy or I must
be living in some alternate parallel dimension where the only store in the entire
Andromeda Galaxy is that particular Walgreens….
3
:[ Speaking
of Films: I am starting two new short film projects.
“The Final Meeting” is about a Northern Arapaho
Superhero who meets his most-hated enemy for the final time.
“Drunken Indian” is a parody trailer of a 70’s kung
fu movie about a Northern Arapaho war vet returning to Chicago to find his
community under siege. The title is a play on the stereotype and an homage to
Jackie Chan’s series of martial arts films of that time.
I am casting local and filming using the ensemble
crew technique that has helped me so much over the years. Join us won’t you?
Just contact me through the comments for more info.
4
:[ So,
Mark Hamil said that Luke Skywalker’s sexuality in the movies did not matter,
opening up the possibility of a Gay Luke Skywalker. Now, people are losing
their shit! Over a fictional character’s non-existent sex life. Come on. What
does this have to do with anything? It certainly does not change anything. I
mean, how does someone’s private sex life, more so a fictional person’s, have
anything to do with your own? Let it go people….
5
:[ So, I
was asked to be on a film concerning Native Film at a conference at
Northwestern University. Of course, this fills my head with all the things that
I want to say and as is typical with me, I make these grand speeches or radical
points in my head. I then start speaking aloud so I vocalize these ideas coming
to great conclusions and making significant points in the areas of Native
representation, politics, media, arts, and cultural understanding.
Of course, I make notes, but I never think that I
should record my lonesome diatribes to transcribe for later. Then, I am always
in a mad scramble to recall the points I wanted to make. Man, if only I could
remember what I had said, it would actually make for a compelling 10 minutes…
6
:[ I have
absolutely no problem riding in silence when I travel with a companion or
friends. But it seems that almost everyone else in this city has such a huge
problem with doing so. Because that all seem to bunch together on every facet
of public transportation just so they can have someone that they fucking blab
about them fucking selves! Sheesh. They will even take the reserved disabled
seating just so they can be by their friends just so they can talk all about them
selves the whole gotdam time they are on the fucking train/bus/platforms.
They will even stand in clustered in the all ready
crowded aisles blocking other less important people form getting to seating or
on and off the bus, just so they can gab about themselves! But hey, how about
sitting next to a person in an empty seat? Fuck that! Yeah, to hell with
consideration for your fellow human beings….
7
:[ To so
many coffee shop staffs, I am somehow know as “Kurtis”.
8:[ Here is something else
about a person’s ego: if they have to ask you to volunteer? You are NOT
volunteering! As if your time is sooo damn valuable they HAVE TO ASK to
volunteer….
That will do it for this month.
So, let me know what you think and as always, feel
free to comment, correct, or contradict anything you read here. That’s fine, as
long as you are able to make a good argument that is rational and sane. I am
always open to change my view on things. I am not so egotistical to think my
opinion is the way the world should see things. I will not censor your comment
just because I think they are wrong. My ego is such that I think I can take it.
Until next month, remember “I try to show the
schemers how pathetic their attempts to control everything really are.”
2016 Ernest M Whiteman III
