JUNE - EPISODE VI: SUMMER 2017

WISDOM OF THE SAGES
EPISODE VI: SUMMER 2017

Hello People of the World;

Well, well, well… Summer is finally here. Wouldn’t you know it? We are all suddenly caught unawares, UNAWARES (!) that it tends to get HOT in the summer. Wow. Anyway, summer is here now and here it will stay until mid to late September when autumn begins. You know, might want to put that on the calendar.

All right, let’s get going:

1:[ MY TALKS WITH BONN: To be, or not to be, a comedian?

Now, I am not a funny guy. I am really not. But I thought that the concept of being a comedian would be so funny that it would almost seem like an abstracted idea that I would dare to try it. In that vein, I thought I could come up with maybe fifteen minutes of material to start with. First covering the fact that I don’t think most, if not all, Native American comedians are funny. Their common theme tends to be “Look at how funny Indians are!”

How people know me is a “stoic”, unassuming person, a quiet introvert, so I think the idea that I would announce “Hello, I’m Ernest Whiteman III and I’m a comedian…” would be absolutely hilarious.

I have a routine sort of planned out but it get very blue at the end, which I also think would be absolutely hysterical coming from me, but I don’t want to share. Yet. I’ll keep it handy for a possible Open Mic night.

2:[ MY TALKS WITH CHARK-ATTACK: The “Wonder Woman” Review

To be truthful, (see what I did there?) I was never really looking forward to this one. Mainly, because, I stopped supporting the whole DC Cinematic Universe once they dropped the ball casting Ben Affleck as Murder Man. But I love my girl and she was looking forward to it and despite my better efforts, I was a bit intrigued. So, once opening day rolled around we went to the first showing together.

What I think I like best about Patty Jenkin's "Wonder Woman" is how detached it is from the other DCEU films. Sure, there was a shot of "Wayne Enterprises" and people knew what that was and they clapped! Looking back on it, this was a fun, if forgettable, adventure film about an actual superhero that tries to do good and help people. What a novel concept in the shitty DCEU!

Diana of Themysscira, whose past is shrouded in secrecy (of course, gotta have that twist!) leaves her idyllic island to venture into the real world of WWI to stop Ares, the God of War, from destroying mankind via the use of poison gasses. She teams up with and eventually falls for Steve Trevor, the pilot whose crash serves as the catalyst to Diana's adventurous awakening. Diana is then confronted with the fact that the cruelty that mankind inflicts, may not be entirely Ares' doing.

And that is where it should have ended. But, this is a fucking DCEU film and you have to have a huge, secret identity twist, (TWO, in this case) where some one is actually someone else! Then a huge fucking, nonsensical explosion-y showdown with fire and lasers, because DC thinks you're too stupid to go without it for one movie.

The first four acts (yes, four) were good, very enjoyable. Gadot makes her accent work into a positive. Though I am never, nor was ever convinced, she was correctly cast. But like many actresses and actors in lesser comic book films, she works with what she is given to do what a super hero is supposed to do: help people. Then it all falls apart in that final showdown. On the way home, Char and I came up with a better ending and a great scenario for "Wonder Woman 2." We should both be hired to write DC Movies!

So, here is what Char and I came up with: We fell that it had a weak Main Villain. Ares was not a good fit as the character was barely there and not the driving force behind the immediate threat of the story.

I also had the worst fourth act, as stated before, it just undid all the good will it built devolving into a loud, ‘splosion-y finale, with lasers and bashing. Funny, I thought Wonder Woman would be above all that shit. We felt that the true villain should have been Mankind. Diana should have come to the conclusion that humanity is shitty on her own rather than having Steve Trevor man-splains it to her.

This also falls in line with a better ending we came up with. Since, in the movie current, once Ares is vanquished (Spoilers), all the German soldiers get up and start hugging everyone because it appears that the influence of Ares is done. Which means: No WWII. Instead, let Ares be this sort of hidden, Behind-the-Scenes presence that is suspected of inciting WWII. WW2 can be about the Return of Ares. But with the twist ending of the story being Ares trying to STOP the atomic bombs! Because of the idea of “Mutually Assured Destruction” will mean NO MORE WAR. You see? No one understands that Ares thrives on war, and instead, they tried to make him a “Joker is an Agent of Chaos” Type when HE ISN’T!

All in all, it reminds me of Donner’s “Superman: the Movie” which is both good and bad. Good in that it echoes Donner’s Superman film nearly beat for beat: opening on the hero’s home turf, then the idyllic upraising, to the leaving into the world, then the jokes and the funny begin towards a unfulfilling and ill-fitting climax. See? It reflects both the good and bad of “Superman: the Movie”. Despite my critiques of the film, I must state that the attention it receives for its positivity for women’s portrayals is well earned and should be celebrated. It gives DC and women something to build on. Maybe we can get the feminist version of the “The Drk Knight Trilogy” sooner, rather than later. We’ll see. Good movie overall….

3:[ I had this whole thing I wanted to right about this video, Blank on Blank: Aldous Huxley on Technodictators from PBS. “Blank on Blank” is a pretty good series and I love hearing someone’s point of view in his or her own voice. I have never read “Brave New World” but am familiar with its themes. I wanted to write up something that summarized the video but found it too fascinating to hear his voice. So, I present a link for you to view the video for yourself: BLANK ON BLANK: ALDOUS HUXELY. Prescient as ever….

4:[ I think that if I ever wanted to run for mayor of Chicago that my platform for running would be: Parade Permits.

I would model this on the New Orleans model, where any group, organization; even families are able to purchase a license for a parade, cheaply. This will open up better community relations when everyone is able to have a parade at will. Also, they have marching bands that rent out their services too. So, that would boost the local musicians. Plus, it would increase revenue if everyone were able to hold a parade when they want.

So, elect Ernest M Whiteman III, Mayor of Chicago, if you do, you’ll get a parade!

5:[ “I, Being Poor, Have only my shoes…” My Ode to the Durability of Duct Tape

I had been out of work for over a year, getting a contract job or speaking engagement here and there, so my clothing lifestyle had to suffer. I also walk everywhere so you can imagine what happened to my shoes. When I was working steady, I used to buy shoes all the time. Marshall’s is great and I love the “Joe Montana” line of shoes. Those are tough shoes. I had maybe three pairs still in their boxes in case. Now, I have none. I have had to break out my old Roper boots.

Now, years ago, I used to wear these all the time. So much so, that I wore a hole into the left sole. Every patch job I did to it, would eventually wear out to usages and most especially, wet weather. Recently, I rubber glued a patch together and covered it with black duct tape.

Whatever anyone tells you about the durability of duct tape, is true. I have been simply putting a duct tape patch over the rubber cemented fix for the last few months and even the rainy weather of late has not gotten to it. Yes, duct tape. I being poor, have only my shoes and duct tape keeps the rain out f them….

6:[ Everyone seems to be highly praising Evanston’s New Bike Paths. Which is good, I guess. I mean keep patting yourself on the back for your biking habits there. Those new bike paths only cost the cutting down of every tree along Sheridan Road.

But, Environmental conservation, am I right? Please, don’t let it interfere with your biking….

7:[ You know what? I still have no problem with parents that push around their oversized children in strollers. I really don’t. I think it is a sign that they truly care about their child’s well being. No need for a child to tire out trying to keep up with you at the store or walking the streets to the store. The parents look happy to suffer the embarrassment of an oversized kid in a stroller than having to deal with dragging a tired and cranky child to tag along on their chores. It’s sweet, I think, thoughtful parenting. No, it is not spoiling or making the child lazy and entitled. Because, believe it or not, the child will realize that they don’t fit in the stroller anymore….

8:[ The other day, I think I witnessed the moment when the “Nice” bus driver, became the CTA bus driver. I take the bus every morning I go to work. The bus I catch had one of those nice guy drivers that say, “Hello” and “Good morning” to every single passenger that got on. It was annoying, a little bit. He would wave to people that got off through the back door and walked past the front, stuff like that. He would engage people as they got up to get off as the bus approached their stop and chat happily with them.

Now, this went on for the two weeks I started riding the bus. He would remark about my stop as I got off, “No Central Park today?” as I would get off earlier to go to the coffee shop.

But one day last week, I noted that he was quieter than usual. So, we were running a bit behind and there was construction on the route and this stupid shit-heel cut off the bus to get past and the driver honked and yelled out the window! That was it; that was the moment he changed. Gone now is the friendly demeanor since. Too bad that this city and its citizens can do that to one another….

That is it for this month, nothing really new to pass on. Life has been plodding along and I have been hit with some difficulties but I am trying to get through them. It will not stop me from writing my thoughts for you month to month.

As always, I invite you to comment, correct, or contradict anything I write here. I am open to a critical debate. Thanks for taking the time to check out what I write here and I will see you in a month.

Until next time, remember “I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control everything really are.”

2017 Ernest M Whiteman III