Wisdom of the Sages

January - Winter 2012

2012-01-15T23:41:00.007-06:00

WISDOM OF THE SAGES

EPISODE I

JANUARY – WINTER 2012

Hello People of the World;

By the time of this posting, looks like winter surprise attacked us, and, OH’s NO (!), snowed! Well, that is what happens, you know, during winter. I do not actively like or dislike snow. It’s all weather to me and you simply deal with it.

Here we are in Twenty-twelve! The New Year! With all of the same days of the week and months of the year as last year, the same rotation of the earth and orbits around the sun as last year as well. Hmm. Same weathers and daylight and night skies as last year too. Hey. What’s so new about this year other than getting a new kitten or ‘Twilight’ calendar?

Let’s get started, shall we?

1:[ First item of the month: Hey, I gots a new Man Purse for my laptop. I know, it doesn’t seem like that big a deal but I’ve been using my old bags that are falling apart for the better part of last year. So, it was nice to come into the office and find a brand new bag waiting at my desk. Thanks Jolene and T7!

2:[ I have decided that I need to get my movie making back on track. To this end I have decide that in addition to the long-in-the-works action, hit man movie and the full-text adaptation of “Hamlet” as well as the adaptation of “Three Kingdoms” that I want to shoot a 3D concert film. Maybe just a small show, you know, something local. So, it would be great if you have any ideas for whom I can film and how I can get my hands on a 3D camcorder.

Also, I am working up some breakdowns for two scenes from “Hamlet” that I want to shoot. The first is a part of Act One, Scene Two, where Horatio, Marcellus and Barnardo visit Hamlet at his apartment. I need an apartment to shoot in, a Horatio, a Marcellus and a Barnardo. The second scene is a part of Act Four, Scene Four, Fortinbas tells the Captain to convey his request. I will need a Fortinbras and a Captain. It would be great if I could get some Native actors to donate their time. I had always hoped to shoot this movie with as small a budget as possible.

Anyways, that’s what I have in mind right now….

3:[ More MOVIE TIME ADVENTURES:

+ Hugo or The Appeal to Filmistic Intellectual Ego and the Truth of the 3D Gimmick: People still have not explained to me how Scorsese used 3D as a storytelling device. I usually get, “It sets the place”, but any good director can do that without 3D. Others state it shows the depth and expanse of a scene, citing the crowds of the station within various shops at the station, but I have to say, that is what 3D is SUPPOSED to do. In the end, it was a well-crafted children’s movie. Once you had Borat fumbling around, you lost any claim of integrity to being a film for adults. The other thing I found rather manipulative was the appeal to the audience’s film intellect ego, that if you know who George Méliès is, then somehow it makes it a more powerful and artistic movie that it really was. Sorry. It wasn’t….

+ The Artist: this movie is always being hailed as a silent movie but it is not a silent film, so every one quit treating it like one. It has a soundtrack and while fun and whimsical to watch, it is a very manipulative piece of soundtrack.

+ Tintin: I really wished that this was the new Indiana Jones movie. Maybe, that’s how they revive Indy as a series of animated motion-capture movies. Yeah! Then, Andy Serkis will win the BEST ACTOR for playing INDIANA JONES!!! Still, even in 2D, it was fun story and adventure….

4:[ I was on the bus this morning on my way to work when this lady sits in the row in front of me and proceeds to yak away on her cell phone. First, she yells “Happy Birthday” to the fella she’s calling I know it was a guy because of the way she talked. She likes this guy, obviously. I have heard women not talk to me like that and talk to me in normal tones, so I would know the difference. What really set this conversation apart was, aside from her talking very loudly like she is in fact an exciting, going-going person was her hypocritical flip-flopping conversation throughout the conversation.

What was crappy was in the end it was all about her. She even calls the dude and first thing she says is HAPPY BIRTHDAY! And she goes on about the birthday for 7 seconds before “Now let’s talk about MY NEWS!” Sheesh. She didn’t even know when cellphones were invented. She mention the 1930’s “or whenever” in her excues to this dude why she’s calling about his birthday.

She was for a while critical of “stupid Facebook” but would immediate get mad at the dude and would tell him to “Read my Facebook Posts!” Sheesh. Have we- I mean, really? I was trying my best to ignore this but she was just speaking very loudly. If you talk louder than the actual bus noise, you want attention….

5:[ Ah yes, settle in Readers for more of:

Adventures at the Coffee Shop!

+ Ugh, sometimes I wonder if we are severely dumbing down our kids. My Bonnie and I were sitting there trying to enjoy our coffee when the stupid Frisbee Team Girl just began chittering away about how it was soooo awesome that she was the only girl on the Frisbee team and that they were all hot. She must have been twelve. Cripes. She wouldn’t even let her friend speak, she just kept going on on how cool it was that all the guys were paying attention to her…. Should that be the most important thing for a young lady to want in life?

Again, if you are talking louder than the din of a coffee shop, you want attention….

+ So, recently I was introduced to the new Starbucks BLONDE coffee at the office. It didn’t taste like their usual overcooked coffee. I rather enjoyed it. But I will not call it BLONDE coffee. Sorry. Look, I’m hypocrite enough to buy the coffee but my hypocrisy is limited to not being conditioned to use sh*tty coffee shop vernacular like “tall”, “blonde” or “vente”….

+ So, there I was in the B&N again when one of the booksellers walks up to me and says “Can I ask you a question?”

I’m thinking “Ohhhh-kay?” but instead say, “Sure.”

“Is the American Indian Education Program still at Audubon school?”

Which completely caught me off guard. We stand there and talk about the new location and what we are doing currently, focusing on education equity and literacy, to which he replies “Oh I see, getting beyond the beads and feathers.”

“Yes!” I say, “That’s is exactly what we are doing.”

It was a pretty cool exchange and it made me hopeful that such conversations like this will be par for the course for the future….

6:[ Most dudes do not spread the love with their “bros”. I try to look out for my buddies. I will try to get them presents or things they want without asking for payback. Not that I’m a nice guy or a great friend. I just think you should look out for your bros. I wish more men felt comfortable doing that. It’s not weakness to show compassion or caring for a fellow “guy”….

7:[ And now Wisdom of the Sages presents:

“An Ever-growing List of Things That MUST Stop!”

+ You Idiots jaywalking into the streets? Will you please just stop that? I mean, come on….

+ Heading north to Skokie I found myself with a bunch of mouthy kids on the #290 bus. I mean, I so my best to not treat kids like kids, but as people but it gets hard to do that when they are trying to act like silly adults. Writhing in each others laps, swearing worse than most adults I’ve heard and calling each other “n*gga”, like that is something cool and grown-up to do. Man, I was happy that all piled off at the mall. This stupefying of kids needs to stop….

+ Here’s a question: Since when has banning books ever worked?

+ I overheard this conversation on the bus the other day when this guy gets on and the driver tells him he’s short a quarter and he make a big noise about how a quarter is no big deal, he has lots of quarters. He then proceeds to tell the guy sitting next across from him that he’s just happy to be working and to be able to have quarters. The man was loud because I suspect he had been drinking as his voice had that drunk-sense about it. Too loud and non-stop, you know the kind.

He gets into this conversation about the economy with the other fellow. They mention this guy’s job, an overnight one at that and that he’s heading home. That, again, the quarter was no big deal (Another sign of intoxication: repeated points.) and that he gives quarters to every homeless guy who asks, because he was there once and now that he can afford to, he will. The other fellow warns against give out money and that giving handouts doesn’t really help.

It was a weird conversation to hear because then the guy said “We need to get into another war” and then it turned into a discussion on how economies were built by warfare. The guy believed the US economy failed due to our involvement in rebuilding Europe and the other fellow was adamant that we take other countries money where ever we go to war at. The guy that got on was a white guy and the other fellow was a black man and what has to stop is my own judgment of how their races play into their views….

Or maybe people need to stop talking so damn loud that I can hear their stupid voices... Or something like that....

8:[ Speaking of cars, remember when luxury cars where in? I miss seeing those big boxy “luxury” cars like Lincolns and Buicks on the road. I remember how people would take care of their cars to make them last. These days, it’s as if cars are disposable and if they aren’t like the cars in “Fast and Furious”, that somehow they aren’t worth a thing. I had this whole diatribe about car insurance being a new status symbol and how people seem to drive “like they’re insured” because cars are disposable, but those with cheap insurance without all the coverage have to actually drive CAREFULLY. But it seemed to not fit. Anyways, I miss seeing luxury cars on the road….

9:[ From the “This Just In” Department: Maybe I am wrong. Maybe the world ends this year: SAY IT AIN’T SO!!

10:[ Last Item of the Month: I guess the billionaire space tourist made the first every sci-fi movie to be shot in space by shooting a short film, “Apogee of Fear” while he visited the ISS. Cool, huh? The Smithsonian wants it already because of its historical significance, but NASA will not allow any kind of distribution. I’d like to see it, but Yahoo News gives a synopsis of the movie.

That will do it for this month. First month of the new year. I hope this snow didn’t catch you off guard. You know how fast, stealthy and sneaky the turning of the earth is. Bundle up until the time comes when we can complain about how the heat snuck up on us DURING THE SUMMER! GASP!

Again, feel free to comment, critique, contradict or correct anything on this ‘blog. Also, apologies for the lightness of this month’s edition. I have been very busy with other things and have not been paying too much attention to the news and to politics and to the media and such, and, man, I gotta tell you, it feels great….

Until Next Time, “I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control everything really are.”

December - Winter 2011

2011-12-15T23:34:00.009-06:00

WISDOM OF THE SAGES

EPISODE XII

DECEMBER – WINTER 2011

Hello People of the World;

I hope this month’s edition finds you in cheerful weathers. And speaking of weather, to those who like complaining about how the weather snuck up on you, it seems there have been dire predictions of Worse Blizzard in History set for Chicago. Then if it hits you can act all surprised. Or be a fakey and pretend you like it. Whatever, I’ll allow it.

December also marks the Return of Native Pride, my beloved cap that causes folks to get mad at me for talking to people. Sheesh. I usually don’t wear it because of November’s lip service to Native Americans and in more a social experiment than mute protest, I put the cap away. Nothing major happen, so it is as it should be.

Let’s get started, shall we?

1:[ First item of the month: Well, now I am at the end of the semester at the University of Wisconsin Parkside and my first university teaching gig comes to a close. “No One Ever Sees Indians: Native Americans in Media” has been an interesting experiment in testing my own knowledge as well as introducing a few media concepts to non-Native students. It’s all about expectations.

I had a pretty nice time there mostly due to the fact that I have to commute via rental car to Kenosha every week. It has been a nice weekly road trip that I looked forward to. Oh yeah, the teaching was good to. (I know, they let me teach on Native Americans in Media, getting self-righteous and angry over my victimization every week! Gasp!)

We are in the midst of finals as I post this and the students, all in all, have done pretty well so far for me yelling at them for 45 minutes and showing them “Star Wars” every week….

2:[ Have you ever noticed, that when you are hunched over packing a suitcase or a briefcase that sits on your bed and you realize you need to pack something that is on the nearby desk or table and when you walk over to grab it, you walk over still hunched over?

No, me neither….

3:[ More MOVIE TIME ADVENTURES:

One more thing about Chicago I enjoy, other than the buildings of downtown (One of the best downtowns in the world. Yeah, I said that.), is the sheer availability of second-run theaters here. For a movie lover like myself, it is very cool to be able to see films like “Citizen Kane” and “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly” on the big screen every once in a while. I had the opportunity to see Raiders of the Lost Ark at the Music Box Theater recently and went with my great friend Mike. It never gets old. “Raiders” is really lightning in a bottle and there is no way to recreate it.

The first time I every saw Raiders was at the Acme Theater back home, when my dad took us all. He really wanted to see it. My dad had a passion for films that I have never explored before. He used to collect 8mm films of movies he loved. I still remember the short reels for “The Ten Commandments”. Now, every time I go into Half Price Books and see the cabinet holding 8mm films from “Blackhawk Films”, I think of my dad….

Mike and I were on a movie-watching jag there for a while and the week after “Raiders” we went to see “Godzilla: King of the Monsters” and “Jaws” at the Portage. I never saw “Godzilla” in its entirety before and decided seeing it on the big screen would be the best way to do so. The Portage Theater is a mom & pop second-run theater that is jam-packed to the rafters with ambiance. It is simply a cool and spacious theater. (I would daresay it is much cozier that The Music Box.)

It was much fun to see “Godzilla”. It had been years since I saw “Jaws” but was disappointed to see that it was projected from video. They will have a screening of “Star Wars” but I have to wonder if that will be from video as well….

In the madcap that is the Holiday Movie Season, Charlotte and I found our selves in Evanston for the day without a coherent plan for a movie. I wanted to see “Hugo” and she wanted to see either “Happy Feet 2” or “Arthur Christmas”. We went in the Century Theater and both saw the poster for The Muppets. We looked at each other and asked, “Why don’t we go see that?”

We got our tickets for the screening that just started and was treated to a warm, funny and sweet return of the Muppet Gang. Jason Siegel was a writer and his charm and humor show through and meshes with the Muppet brand of humor. At its core is a story of a Muppet trying to find his place in the world. With funny songs and dance numbers it charmed Char and me….

4:[ I have notice when riding the bus that rain really make a difference as it seemed the bus I caught stopped at every stop and about 500 people would get on just to get out of the rain. Now, that doesn’t happen for snow. For some reason people tend to think of snow as dry water. Weird.

So, as expected, the bus filled up quick. And boy, people are just not getting the whole, make-room-in-the-aisle concept. Dude, you’re the same size front or back, simply spinning around to face the other way does not make you somehow smaller and out of the person’s way who is trying to get by you on this cramped bus. You just turned a circle for no reason. I had to laugh out loud at that guy….

5:[ Ah yes, settle in Readers for more of:

Adventures at the Coffee Shop!

+ I know that the coffee huts in the Barnes and Noble are NOT Starbucks, but simply “serve Starbucks coffee” but could they at least have some consistency in serving Starbuck’s drinks? At this one particular B&N coffee hut, I have to ask for and describe a steamed apple juice is not the same as a Caramel Apple Spice and, no, I don’t want syrup and no whipped cream. When I ask for a steamed apple juice in a Starbucks regular, they know, and even have a separate price for it. I know, “Stop asking for specialized drink at a Barnes and Noble you dummy.” But then what would I complain about?

+ Lately I have been steering away from coffees in the late afternoons, finding that my body is adjusting to getting some semblance of sleep at night. So, I have been hitting the “Dunky Donuts” as my Boo calls it for their “Hot Chocolate Mint”. I am so enamored of this that it hit me that I could simply buy it instant and drink that. I’ve also switched to Steamed Apple Juices because a warm drink in cooler weather is something I enjoy….

+ I worry for my girls because I have noticed that no matter the age or marital status, the stupid hipster baristas will always become babbling idiots trying to charm any young Asian woman that crosses their path; customer or co-worker, makes no difference….

6:[ New Science Stuff: It appears that scientists are closer to finding out why our universe is made of matter rather than antimatter. (Yes, antimatter is real!) When smashing atoms they found particle that do not behave like antimatter. Fascinating stuff that I cannot, nor, have the ability to explain. Read this article instead. It is said that this could re-write how physics work.

It also appears that we are getting closer to finding the Higgs Boson particle that gives mass to everything in the universe, the so-called “God Particle” (As if…. Actually, scientists state that that label is misleading.). This particle will explain why everything that exist has mass, from large organisms to subatomic particles. Anyways, let the smarter people explain it. I think this is cool stuff….

7:[ And now Wisdom of the Sages presents:

“An Ever-growing List of Things That MUST Stop!”

+ You Idiots jaywalking into the streets? Come on, you’re not that important…. One of these days, someone will not be able to see you and stop in time….

+ Have your fare or fare cards out!!! The bus gets late waiting for you to set down all of your stuff, rifle through your purse or backpack looking for change or fare cards and then you have the frickin’ gall to complain that the busses are running late….

+ So, there was this Lady with a cart on the #22 bus. She had a seat but for some reason she got up and stood beside the driver complaining about the man who sat by her. He accidentally bumped her cart or something. She gets mad, calls him a rude asshole and then becomes a rude asshole herself standing at the front of the bus with her cart bottlenecking the aisle. Of course this caused other riders to turn on her. They talked her down and made rude comments about her needing to sit her ass back down, or something.

This made me aware of how much people simply do not sit the f*ck down even though they are right next to an empty seat, simply because then, they would have to sit NEXT TO someone. That guy who turned a circle I mentioned in the earlier item? He was on this bus AND standing next to an empty seat!

Of course, I myself was judging all this from a position of having a seat…. I need to stop that….

+ Today on the bus we passed an accident scene where someone was lying on the ground for being HIT BY A F*CKING CAR!!! I could not see clearly and did crane my head to see. But it looked like a woman in the crosswalk was hit and the people around her were simply standing around prodding at her. She looked really hurt and people were just seeing if she could get up again so they could get on with their day. People need to stop being ignorant of people in the crosswalks….

8:[ So, there I was, standing at the bus stop in the blustery cold. When this guy comes out of the train station, sees me, then walks up to me and points to the logo on his cap and says “We own you Indians now! Blackhawks forever! An’ it’s gonna stay that way….”

Oh, I should have been mad. Sports logos represent one the toughest fights Native Americans have had to deal with in modern society. Many will say that there are more important things to worry about, like the education of children, but no one sees how one connects to the other. Or, rather, they choose NOT to see how it connects. They want to be fooled, as the movie stated. Also, the Blackhawk logo also represents one of the Great Native American Hypocrisies today. (Of which there are four.)

Yeah, I should have been mad. (And self-righteously so.)

Instead, I just laughed and said, “Um, you’re wearing a Bears cap, sir….”

His eyes widened in surprise and he immediately shut up and walked off without looking back….

9:[ From the “This Just In” Department: Here we are as 2011 winds down. Oh’s no! Guess what comes next? Yep, 2012. END OF THE WORLD! Want to hear some funny things about that Mayan prediction? Well, for one: Mayans still exist today; and two, I was TOTALLY right: it predicts that it is TIME TO BUY A NEW CALENDAR! This article (There are more article about this if you search "Mayan calendar 2012".) states that after decoding the calendar once December 21, 2012 arrives, “…after which the calendar shifts to the next 144,000 day cycle…”.

Told you.

You’re welcome….

10:[ Last Item of the Month: Sorry folks, I just cannot get behind a sequel to “The Incredibles”. I know every geek fanboy out there is clamoring for one and Brad Bird stated recently that they are sifting through ideas. Please, Mr. Bird, don’t cave in to fanboy expectation. You owe us nothing. Mr. Lucas did, and look what we got: the prequels. “The Incredibles” is a unique take on the superhero genre and a special story about discovering and utilizing your talents. Don’t cheapen it by giving in to the “we want more” mentality that has ruined so many other franchises; Star Wars, Indiana Jones (supposedly), Aliens, Predator, The Terminator, Star Trek…. Please, Brad Bird, leave “The Incredibles” alone….

That will do it for this month.

Yep, there are only 16 days left to 2011 and you know what? I still wonder where the time went? December also marks an important birthday. Did you know? So, remember, say, "Happy Birthday" to Jesus the weekend after next. It’s still okay to do so, despite what the Press says.

Oh yeah! Keep an eye out for my annual “Best of” Lists coming soon to the WOS Reviews page. I know you all want to know what I thought were the Best Things from this past year. Feel free to comment, contradict or correct any of the items here on Wisdom of the Sages. Also, simply let me know how you are doing.

See you next year!

Until Next Time, “I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control everything really are.”

November - Fall 2011

2011-11-16T00:40:00.004-06:00

Wisdom of the Sages

Episode XI

November – Autumn 2011

Hello People of the World;

Here we are so very near the end of 2011. One more month and guess what? GASP! It will be 2012! Oh’s no! I hope this typical autumn chill has not surprised you with the speed and ferocity in which it arrived. Why do people ALWAYS act like they are caught off guard by the frickin’ seasons? Come on….

Again, as I type and post this, Mother Nature (what ever happened to her?) saw fit to give you a warm day to act totally surprised about! Oh’s No, again! So go ahead and complain like the tides and the turning of the earth took you, unaware. Hey, guess what month this is, hmm? Yep, it’s November! Yay, you.

Let’s get started, shall we?

1:[ First item of the month: As is my tradition every year I take off the NATIVE PRIDE for a month and put it away. Actually, I only used to wear it for winter because it, get this, it kept my head warm. But I found the reactions to it were too good to leave aside, so I started wearing it year around with summer and November the times I leave it at home. Anyways, I haven’t been wearing it lately. Some suggest I put it away permanently because it is wearing out pretty fast lately. I would have to agree.

I simply love the contradiction it represents and how it brought out the hypocrite in me…. We’ll see….

2:[ A couple of weekends ago my friend Sharon and I went and took in the latest Danielle Ate the Sandwich concert at Schubas. Now, Danielle Ate the Sandwich is a singer/songwriter from Colorado that developed a following on YouTube thanks to some goofy videos, strong song skills and a gimmicky “twee” persona. I dig her songs. Doesn’t hurt that she’s pretty cute as well. But her strength, in my humble opinion is her songs and singing.

She needs to begin to grow as an artist. As my buddy Mike said in his talk the other night, there is that stage when artists mature. She’s reached it. Her more rabid fans seem to be more a fan of the shtick rather than her songs. (As evidenced by their constant interruptions.) So much so, she even made a joke about the shtick. I only hope her fans allow her to mature.

So, I’ve seen her perform three times now. She’s just a kid and yet here I am, an old man by comparison and barely able to do what I want to be doing like the young lady on stage. I can only smile when we chat after the show and offer soft critique and go on my way….

3:[ More MOVIE TIME ADVENTURES:

+ So, I went to see “The Thing” at the Music Box with my buddy Mike. I have never see John Carpenter’s sci-fi horror masterpiece on the big screen before. It was the requirements at the Whiteman Household back when I lived on the rez. My brother Ken is a big fan of the Carpenter/Russell tem-ups. But it was fantastic to finally see this one on the big screen with like-minded fans. (Except those stupid “YEE-AH” shouters that shout at everything. Look, not everyone can be MST3K. Shut the Hell up.)

I’m a little hesitant to see the “prequel” because 1) reviewers are mixed but the common thread is that it is pretty lifeless, and 2) I like the mystery of what happened at the base of “those crazy Swedes” to remain a mystery. That adds to the bigger mystery of “John Carpenter’s The Thing” which in itself renders any sequel or prequel pretty pointless….

+ I just saw the DVD of “Batman: Year One”. Again, I lament, “My poor ‘Year One’, what have they done to you?” The animation was okay. But the voice cast didn’t seem to fit their roles. And everything sounded like it was simply bored recitation of lines. The actors were just reading the lines of the comic. The cool factor, the soul of the story was hugely missing. It seemed to be a series of vignettes but it was supposed to be a coherent story. Shoddy and slapdash.

What was most insulting to the audience was over the end credits they flash panel art of the original comic like they were saying “See, things match up”. Sometimes, matching up isn’t such a good thing. Some things need their own space to be their own thing, their own integrity to build it into something better. (See item on “The Thing” (2011) above.)

I did notice that all the hype that was attached to this one was gone once the DVD was released. Like no one wanted to talk about it once everyone got to see the finished product. I’m not buying this Batman DVD. I’ll just re-read the graphic novel.

4:[ Before the show at Schubas, my friend Sharon and her friend were waiting for the show to begin by taking a table and I ordered some food. They were making light complaints about “getting old”. They have NO idea. Sharon has many years to even reach my current age and here she was acting like she was ready for the home. They have no idea. I simply shook my head at their complaining. No idea: the failing body, the longer heal times, the failing dreams that leave you to shake your head, smile and offer soft critique and go on your way….

5:[ Ah yes, settle in Readers for more of:

Adventures at the Coffee Shop!

+ I was sitting in my usual spot when I happened to look out the window and see these two older gentlemen walk up to each other and with big smiles reserved for friends, they bump fists like a couple of teenagers. They are regulars at the Starbucks on Western and Howard and they come in and play chess for hours. Soon, other friends show up and they rotate players, game after game. They also attract the baristas and strangers’ attention and sometime they let others sit in and play a game. It’s kind of old school and old world behavior and they are very friendly and always respectful of others’ privacy and space. I have not worked up any nerve to approach them but respect them enough to leave them to their games.

+ So there I was, sitting in the Evanston Barnes and Noble coffee hut. As I sat weary from my travels, having ordered a medium coffee, to work my review paper grading, when over to the table next my ears caught sound of two young ladies conversing. While I try never to make it a habit to drop eaves, there was no helping their piecing voices, with no labor on their part at making their words unheard, so I hear one of them complaining about her $200 jacket not being warm enough for the weather. Wow. I thought, and still she paid $200 for it…. Fashion wins over function.

“I’m bored,” she continued “Things need to change” her friend agreeing with every statement as if this one gal held all the answers to life’s mysteries. She goes one about how we, as a people could not look to a bright future because “Like, how we really fucked up the planet?” And without a hint of irony or trace of empathy, she turns her idea on a dime, taking no responsibility, “But, I mean, like, how could we have known? How could we have known we were fucking it up?”

People f*cking amazing me….

+ I hate it when a gal I find attractive or suited to my taste, turns out to be a whiny complainer entitled to something… Oh well….

+ Speaking of fashion winning over function: So there I was, sitting in the self-same Evanston Barnes and Noble coffee hut. The weather outside was windy and cold, “blustery” I believe it is called. I was working on that same paper grading that I was behind on when after the annoying chicks at the next table left, I look out the window and notice some really nice looking chick (“hot” I believe is the current stupid euphemism.) wearing really short shorts to the gym in freezing weather. Really. She was in just a jacket and tiny shorts and those stupid UGG boots. Yeah, those boots will keep you warm. I know that there is an L.A. FITNESS down the block. It would not have mattered much but I saw at least five more, really pretty ladies at various times, wearing nothing but shorts and a jacket and walking for the gym.

It was kind of stupid, really. Look, I’m the type of guy that’ll admit that if a pretty girl catches my eye, I’ll take a look. But my idea of pretty and beautiful does not run in concert with the rest of the planet apparently. But, when you are flashing bare legs in the middle of a cold snap, all because the gym is like, right over, there, I mean, what’s wrong with wearing sweat pants, at the very least, in this weather? Nope, gotta look “hot” no matter what. Sheesh.

6:[ Sitting in the Subway, having a sandwich to passed the time between the show at Schubas and the midnight Music Box screening, I happened to notice the large amounts of roving college kids in the streets and realized that I was in the bar district of Chicago. Well, one of many bar districts. So, sitting there on a busy avenue you tend to notice that people, for all of their pronounced “individuality”, dresses near identical to the next group of kids walking up the street behind them. Fashion makes followers of us all….

The other thing I did notice was that night time FM radio still sounds as crappy as you remember it sounding when you were young. Some things never change for slaves of fashion and FM radio….

7:[ And now Wisdom of the Sages presents:

“An Ever-growing List of Things That MUST Stop!”

+ People that cover for child rapists. Seriously? But, but, he made “The Pianist”. But, the child rape. Yeah, but FOOTBALL! Come on. F*ck the Legacies. Grow some Common Sense….

+ People crossing into traffic need to STOP! All it takes is for someone to NOT see one of these stupid goofballs crossing in the middle of traffic and BAM! The driver will be in a mess of trouble. Yep. The Driver will be to blame.

How big a sense of entitlement do you need to endanger yourself for a basket of f*cking chicken wings! Every time I see idiots walking then running to cross the street before the traffic catches them, I want to roll the window down and shout “F*ck, Candlelite isn’t THAT good!”

+ There was a homeless lady on the #290 bus today. At first I didn’t know she was homeless because, I must admit this prejudice observation, she did not dress like a homeless person. She had on a nice jacket and clean pants and carried those recyclable grocery bags. She was overly friendly with people that got on and a bit talkative. But people were friendly with her and chatted with her and it wasn’t until further down the road that she worked up the nerve to announce that she needed some change. Now, solicitation is prohibited on the buses and suddenly, people just quit talking to her. She just sat there, smiled sadly, putting on a brave face and the bus hurtled forward. I felt for her. I worked a single loose in my pocket and was planning to give it to her on the sly as I got off. When the bus arrived at my stop….

I lost my nerve. Not wanting to get in trouble if the driver caught me. What a jackass I was. Make no mistake; I made no effort to alert the lady I was going to give her something, anything. It wasn’t like I dangled the dollar in her face and walked ff with it. No, I was simply one more person that IGNORED her and her plight. And for whatever she thought of me as I stepped off. I deserved it. I know; I will have no chance to redeem myself, no other chance to help this fellow human being. Why? Because I was scared.

When did they make it wrong to simply help out the least of us…?

8:[ Oh yeah! Now I remember why I stopped buying comic books! It was such a hassle to get to a comic shop every week to keep caught up. Plus, the prices are topping out at $5 a single issue. Maybe I don’t need to get back on a monthly series after all. Sorry Batman. I’m not the 1% like you are…. (Ha, see what I did there?)

9:[ From the “This Just In” Department: I was in the Walgreen’s today and notice a bunch of parents and their little kiddies around. You know what? It does not matter how close we are to Christmas. Kids deserve a toy. I noted one little gal was just so happy to get a toy tea set. It just makes me smile and joyful to see a happy child. I wish we could all see how much these kids deserve something better, something fun, and something that makes them happy. No matter who they are….

10:[ Last Item of the Month: So, Andy Rooney, 60 Minutes’ resident curmudgeon passed away a few weeks back. My Bonnie’s first thought was that I should replace him. What do you think? I have the eyebrows…. I am pretty self-righteous and angry about things. Why does Andy Rooney get to get away with complaining about little mundane things and I have to apologize for mentioning a talk I had? Sheesh.

Still, Bonnie thinks I could replace him. Maybe I will. Let me know….

That will do it for this month.

I keep forgetting, there was something about this month that I wanted to mention…. I don’t know. I’ll remember it later on. I hope all of you enjoy your Holiday this month and that you get to gather with family and friends. Let me know how you are doing. Feel free to comment, correct or contradict my writings here. I’ll see you next month….

Until Next Time, “I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control everything really are.”

October - Fall 2011

2011-10-17T01:43:00.007-05:00

Wisdom of the Sages

Episode X

October – Autumn 2011

Hello People of the World;

It is now the fall season and Oh’s No (!) it’s getting chilly! Who’d of thought, it would get colder as we get closer to winter? Not me! I’m used to the exact weather that makes me comfortable. I really need to get over myself! You’re welcome.

Well, I guess Nature cut you a break and heated things up for a little bit just to give you something to complain about, I suppose. So. Here we are at the tenth month, closer to the end of 2011. Time flies when you’re having fun right? I have no idea where this year went.

Let’s get started, shall we?

1:[ First item of the month: So, here we are, living in a time when people are being executed with so much doubt, where the economy continues to tank with the rich staying healthy and the sick staying poor, and where we are still very divided as a “One Nation Under God” and yet, here we are all are, crying about Facebook changes?

Seriously?

2:[ Introducing, another semi-regular item:

Movie Time Adventures

So, the other day I decided I wanted to see “Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame”, the latest Tsui Hark movie at the theater in Evanston (The only other theater playing it.) found it to be a rather enjoyable, romp of a film; big, bombastic kung-fu mystery with Andy Lau playing a disgraced inspector called from prison to determine why people are suddenly bursting into flames before the Empress can be crowned Emperor of China. It involves talking deer, an albino, a seedy dark underground, and a fight with a herd of stags. Yep. It is an awesomely weird flick.

+ Anyways, standing outside the theater, as I had arrived early to get a good seat, I find a group of citizen outside waiting. It turns out the doors were locked and it was getting close to show time. I remember one guy, those talker types, kept pulling on the doors as if they would suddenly be unlocked. So, we are all waiting there for maybe 15 minutes. Well, 15 minutes from when I got there, it looks like some were waiting longer. It struck me to ask if anyone had tried calling the theater to see if they could open up. But as I inhaled to speak, Talker bangs on the doors and soon someone comes down to open the door. As we enter, I crack wise about tickets remaining the same price. So, after I get in line and purchase my ticket the ticket seller suddenly asks, “Are you really a Native American?”

“Yeah,” it is hard for me to not, at least, get a touch mad, but as always, I get over it really quick because it is simply unfair. “What are you, tribe, I mean.”

“Northern Arapaho, from Wyoming,” to which she says, “That’s really cool. I asked because you don’t see any of you around any more.”

To which “I do” almost slipped out of my mouth. But hey, she was absolutely right from her perspective. Instead, I say “Yeah, that’s true.”

She smiles and says it again “It’s pretty cool meeting a Native. We don’t see much of you around now.”

I just give her a wave and go to the theater.

SPOLIER ALERT: Review of “Warrior”: Basically “Two Rockys”. Two down-on-their-luck underdogs have a single chance to win the big fight. Both are brothers, which is the twist of the story. The movie stars Tom Hardy (Inception, Bronson) as Tommy, an ex-Marine Corp Gulf War veteran that is homeless and Joel Edgerton (Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones and The Thing 2011) as Brendan, a suburban high school teacher who is suspended for fighting to raise money for his house payments. Nick Nolte also stars as the brother’s father, an ex-alcoholic that was estranged from them both.

Both end up in the final match of a UCF-style fighting tournament vying to win the big cash prize for their own purposes: Tommy’s is to help a dead friend’s family after promising to do so, his friend being the only family he’s had. His friend was a Hispanic man. It seems Tommy saved a bunch of fellow Marines and now he is here to take the prize home to help the widow of his friend.

Brendan needs to make a house payment. Yep. That’s it. That's his reason.

While I found much to like about this tale, the overall message did not sit well with me. Only those who are living the “American Dream” deserve to get the prize over those who have never had it to begin with.

What I also hated was how suddenly the strongest fighter in the entire tournament was suddenly weak just so the hero could win. They built him up to be this invincible fighter and when he comes up against our suburban hero, suddenly he is defeatable. Don’t come at me with some sort of “That’s the way it goes in the UFC, it’s anybody’s game” nonsense. This was a story and it smacked of weak storytelling. The guy was knocking everyone out and walking out the ring, but when he comes up against Suburban Teacher, the message was very clear: Only those who are living the “American Dream” deserve to get the prize over those who have never had it to begin with. That’s what bugged me. Good story but not good on following through with the character they built.

Review of “Drive”: Neat little film. I do wish I liked it more than I did. Ebert compared this to “Le Samourai” though the comparisons seemed superficial. It had a 70’s car flick vibe mixed with an 80’s sensibility. It tells the tale of a man so good at stunt driving, that he hires himself out as a driver for what ever you need driving for. Think, a much slower moving “Transporter”. Here, he hooks up with a beautiful waif and her cute son and suddenly all hell breaks loose. (I mean, why would hell break loose for an ugly chick and her obnoxious kid?) Still, it is a neat, slow-paced tale. I just wish Brian Cranston would quit playing Malcolm’s dad. Otherwise, I recommend.

3:[ I finished reading Christopher Welles Feder’s autobiography. It was a sweet reflection on living in the shadow of someone who was not considered a genius until after he passed away. To view him through the eyes of his very awestruck daughter and how she had to come to terms with how very human her great figure of a man was. It inspired me with what Welles went through in his filmmaking career. He was a man much like myself and that is also inspiring, both in beliefs and viewing the nature of art. There also the possibility that they will only love me after I’m dead….

4:[ Time is beginning to show itself to me. It appears that both REM and The BoDeans, two of my favorite all-time bands have decided to break up. REM felt that it was time to quit, while a key member of The BoDeans quit on his own. REM, after completing a 31-year retrospective decided that now was a good time to simply call it quits. Their music fed my brain during my high school and college years. “Losing My Religion”, “Drive”, “What’s the Frequency, Kenneth?”, “Stand” and more gave me great comfort that I had a rather unique taste in music as well as finding another band, not U2 that spoke to me as me.

While The BoDeans are still around technically, they are not “The BoDeans” without Sammie. His vocals and songwriting were key to the sound of the band. Remove him and they are not The BoDeans, but are “The BoDeans”. Their strange combo of voices between Kurt and Sam fueled many singalongs while I drove all over the place. Their lyrics and harmonies are something I never heard before or will again. I was introduced to them via my brother Ken. It is amazing how much influence all my big brothers have had.

So, all of this has shown me that I am simply getting old and the old touchstones of my youth are slipping past….

5:[ Ah yes, settle in Readers for more of:

Adventures at the Coffee Shop!

+ You learn something new every day; as I found out today when instead of a coffee I grabbed a bottle of green tea and a bottle of water and the barista asks why I’m changing it up. I reply that I’m re-hydrating. He tells me that tea would dehydrate me more. Less so than coffee I reply. “No,” he says, “tea is….”

He then turns to an off-duty barista and a regular, both of whom just happen to be sitting next to each other and puts the question to them, “Which is more of a diuretic, coffee or tea?”

Both agree: it’s tea. I nodded my head at this new fact because hey, tea is more of a diuretic than coffee. See? I’ve learned something new, even how to spell “diuretic”.

So, I paid for my tea and bottle of water….

+ There are very few baristas that appear to enjoy their work. Many talk like they have better things to do than be here serving the masses their coffee drinks. There is one fella I see that really does the sh*t out of his job. He just does it well. He gets my order, gets my drink and takes my payment all the while concentrating on what he does. Everyone else tends to talk to one another while the customers wait in line and for their order. Not this guy.

It always reminds me of what Louis CK said, to paraphrase, if you have a sh*t job, why do a sh*tty job, wouldn’t that make it worse for you? Many act like they have better things to do, like shows and projects and the like, when, to paraphrase LCK again, you’re wearing an apron the same color as the building! Come on!

6:[ It’s kind of funny to hear your own beliefs spoken back to you and they sound silly and self-righteous. I walk into the comic books store in Evanston and here the two workers in there talking about the abject failure of the whole Occupy Wall Street movement. How they feel that it just made up of a bunch of spoiled kids looking for their entitlements. Sure there is more to it than that. But, in the end there are several different methods for making a protest.

I have learned some of the more ineffectual ones and some of the more notorious ways for affecting business as a means of protest. Which is why I am never really all about the political idealism that anyone chases after. You can find better ways to fight the status quo but many people like the status quo as long as they are on the well-receiving end of it. Which is why many are hesitant to rock the boat, or when the balance finally shifts them out of favor, suddenly they need to occupy somewhere and protest. To refurbish one Facebook posters comment: "they are looking to get back their piece of the pie, never caring for those who never got one to begin with."

So it was strange to hear my own POV of things echoed back at me, and, yes, it did sound very silly and self-righteous. But then again, it didn’t help to have them spoken by self-entitled comic book workers….

7:[ And now Wisdom of the Sages presents:

“An Ever-growing List of Things That MUST Stop!”

+ It seems that almost every CTA bus I get on is usually a victim of cars turning across the path of a bus. Even though it is illegal for cars to cross the lane and turn right in front of a bus, people seem to be in such a hurry all the time that they do it anyway. I’ll bet that when a bus does accidentally hit a stupid person’s car the CTA and driver will be held accountable. Geez, people, if you are late, then start leaving home earlier….

+ Speaking of busses, there was this woman and her kid on the bus this morning complaining about the lateness of the CTA. No small part due to the article on bus drivers playing hooky on duty that was in the paper yesterday. So, she doesn’t get loud, but she does not make her discussion with a fellow passenger private either.

She blamed the drivers and it was not at all her fault for not having foresight to leave a bit earlier. Anyways, I get off the bus and she and her kids get off with me. But as I wait for the WALK light as the street light turned red, the lady drags her kids into the oncoming traffic to get to the other side. CRAZY! Cars had to slow for her, hitting the brakes and all. And you know what? She did it just to run into the convenience store on the corner. That disregard for the traffic needs to stop….

+ Still parking in the spot painted for the space beside the handicapped space, even though its for a van with a handicap-accessible side door to park there, just to run in a get a quick bottle of organic juice? Stop that.

+ Zombies: really. I just finished watching Season One of “The Walking Dead” and I’m sorry, I am not impressed. I never got the appeal of zombies. I find them quite boring. The inherent danger of zombies is rendered null and void once, you know, once you really think about them.

I guess it comes down to our desire to really just kill other people, doesn’t it? We measure manhood, falsely, I might add, by our ability to kill things, I think. The larger the thing, the more intelligent, the more “Manly” we are. So, zombies fulfill that desire to harm our fellow by othering them into undead entities.

I find “The Walking Dead” to be like any primetime soap but with Zombies. Everyone sing with me:

Zombies are such a serious thing/

These problems matter!

+ Lately, while getting ready to cross the street at a crosswalk I find myself mutter as some car, that obviously has the Right-of-Way, to go, “F*ckin’ GO, if you’re gonna GO!” I need to stop that….

+ Really people, with the world as we have it now, the primary thing on people’s minds are the costumes for superhero movies? Really? …Really? Getting mad about Catwoman’s ears? Superman’s red undies? Seriously? Man, we need to grow up. And this is coming from someone who bought comics today. Speaking of….

8:[ So, today I bought some comic books for the first time in quite a few years. DC Comics decided, rightly so, to reboot their entire line of comics, dispensing with the monstrous amount of continuity to free writers to write compelling stories without fear of discontinuity. So, after being left behind in the storylines of Batman, I felt it would be a good chance to hop aboard a regular comic again without having to worry about missing something cool for not keeping up with Batman’s history.

So, I grab a Detective Comics #1 and a Catwoman #1 (I know) and go to get them rung up. I still have to grab a Batman #1, though. Wouldn’t you know it the cashier is WAAAAAAAAAY younger than I am…. I felt like an old geeky man….

9:[ From the “This Just In” Department: I’ve been warning you, Dear Readers, of the next big resource battle coming up and here is more information: Mexico’s newest import to US may be water!

10:[ Last Item of the Month: Many have made a huge deal about the passing of Steve Jobs, which is appropriate, he and Apple, Inc. have changed the face of the world with their innovative technology. However, Dennis Ritchie, who developed the Unix system and C-languages for programming, having as much an impact on our world, as the Internet may not have been possible with out these, receives no such fanfare, there are no Internet Meme-orials for the man who literally wrote the language of the Internet…. May they both rest in peace.

That will do it for this month.

Of late, I’ve had to take a long drive to get to work. It has been quite a number of years, at least four, by my calculation that I had feared that I would not remember how to drive in the big city. But after a few trips north I find that I am very vocal when in the car by myself. I shout insults and am just a miserable person in general. Which is funny because I really like driving long distances.

Feel free to comment, critique, contradict or correct my nonsense, wouldn't want to come off and angry and self-victimizing, right? I hope this finds you all well. Sorry about the late posting, I got really sick over the past couple of days. On top of a chill I caught in me noggin, my Char got herself an Xbox 360 and got “Portal 2” which, watching with this head-chill, sent me into a rather nasty bout of extreme dizziness. I had to forget meeting my friend Larry about restarting “Hamlet” and I went home and slept for 13 hours. So. There’s that. Write me, let me know how you are all doing.

Until Next Time, “I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control everything really are.”

September - Fall 2011

2011-09-15T22:11:00.007-05:00

Wisdom of the Sages

Episode IX

September – Autumn 2011

Hello People of the World;

Here we are soo close to fall and its cooler temperatures. Many people tell me that their favorite season is fall. I guess it would be mine but that is a bias towards my own childhood. I like spring myself. But cloudy, cool days are my favorite.

Liking a season means that you cannot complain about it, right? But some folk do. Seriously people, when did 65F become “FREEZING!”? Wait until it drops to 2-degrees, then you can complain. And I mean 2-degrees in September! Get a coat. Otherwise, besides you getting on my nerves, I hope you’ve been well? Been kind of busy as of late and nothing having to do with making movies. Oh well. That may explain the lightness of this month’s edition.

Let’s get started, shall we?

1:[ First item of the month: Due to my smugness and anger, I landed a teaching gig at the University of Wisconsin Parkside teaching the “Native Americans in Media” course and I had my first class last night. It was a lively bunch of students (I am loathed to call them kids because they are not.), some with Native ancestry in their backgrounds and all of them wanting to know more about Native culture in media. They are a cool bunch, I will admit.

They laughed at my jokes and asked questions when they wanted to know something. The staff members in the Communication Department are pretty cool and helpful as well. All in all, I am looking forward to the student presentations and teaching them about Native Americans in media, you know, if I don’t get all angry and self-righteous/pitying about it….

2:[ Talking with my Bonnie I saw a bumper sticker for the Lincoln High Warriors and thought about both the irony of that and the idea of naming the team something associated with whomever the school is named after. For example, a team called the Lincoln High Emancipators.

Can you imagine: the Kennedy School Rockets, (Because of the space program and the um, missile crisis.) or the Jackson High Indian Killers?! (Because he killed Indians. But then again, so did a lot of other Presidents.) Then, students would be forced to research the histories of the people their schools are named after.

I recently saw a bumper sticker for Mark Twain High School and had to really think on what their mascot would be if it were something associated with Twain…? The Twain High Injuns, perhaps?

3:[ On the bus today I happened to peek over the shoulder of someone who was texting. Now, the messages themselves were pretty mundane, boring really. Which begged the question, why didn’t they just use the phone to call?

4:[ It looks like David Guggenhiem, of “An Inconvenient Truth” and “It Might Get Loud” fame has produced and directed a documentary entitled "From the Sky Down" on the making of the hit album “Achtung, Baby!” by U2. Now, as you all know, I am an unabashed fan of the group and “It Might Get Loud” is one of my all-time favorite documentaries. So, seeing this made my flip my lid. Now we have a movie about one of their best albums and all the dramas that went into making it. Diehard fans know the story already but from all the positive reviews this has been getting, no one knows it like this. I am so looking forward to this. I just wish it got a theatrical release….

5:[ Ah yes, settle in Readers for more of:

Adventures at the Coffee Shop!

+ I’ve noticed a difference between the baristas who work at a Starbucks versus those that work for the Barnes & Noble coffee shop that serves Starbucks coffee. Yes, this is a complete generalization, but what can I say, it’s been consistent since I noticed it. Bookstore baristas seems like they know absolutely everything about books. It’s almost snobbish. While coffee shop baristas seem to know everything about everything else….

+ Well what do you know? It looks like I’ve become a “regular” at the coffee shop I frequent. Whenever I walk in and stand in line they begin preparing my usual drink for me. Medium Iced coffee, sweetened. (For you assassins out there). Which is pretty cool. So, cool of them in fact, that I am loathed to order what I really want; usually a large iced coffee sweetened. But, since I don’t want to hold up the line behind me I just pull my cash, exchange chitchat with the barista on the register and move on. Sometimes, when no one is behind me, I’ll change my order and talk at length with the folks there. Many of them know me by now.

+ It is absolutely cool to see kids in the coffee shop. They are soooo happy to get something and sit down and just be cool kids. It makes me sad how we royally screwed up the world that they have to live in. But it warms my heart to see them happy in the Now….

+ Oh yeah, that barista I told you about a while back? They finally just hauled off and punched me in the mouth….

6:[ Have you ever went out shopping for DVD’s and finally bought one you had your eye one for the longest time; maybe, you had no money when it was first released and then you scoured the secondhand places looking for the cheapest copy, but still you couldn’t bring yourself to spend the money but it kept bugging you and then one day, through a lucky string of circumstances, you have more than enough money and you stumble upon the very DVD, special edition you wanted in great condition for the cheapest price you have ever seen it sold for, so you snap it up, lay down your cash and head straight home and put it on your shelf next to all the other DVDs with the exact same story and you never watch because, hey, now you own it, you can watch it anytime you want and months and moths go by and one day while cleaning your place you come upon the DVD special edition with the deleted scenes, behind-the-scenes production documentaries, super-duper audio set up and super-de-duper cool commentary track and you pick it up and look at it and right then, you just have to wonder, why did you buy this again?

Yeah, me neither….

7:[ And now Wisdom of the Sages presents:

“An Ever-growing List of Things That MUST Stop!”

+ Giving extensive media coverage to weddings of people who are not famous for any reason. Or any wedding for that matter…. (When did weddings stop being just a family function?)

+ From Bonnie; You know, those stupid, straw porkpie hats made popular by JT? Those need to stop. Me: It looks like your head to too big for your hat!

+ As I’ve become accustomed to walking about everywhere, I often find myself developing curious habits. Some time ago, I told you about how I’ve more than once, measured my missed turns by assigning an imaginary self ahead of me and measuring my progress against “him”. Of late, when I find myself standing on the corner at intersections as a car pulls up, I stay there hoping the car would get the hint and move through the intersection. Now, I haven’t even stepped into the crosswalk yet, you know, where I’d have Right-of-Way and the car would have to yield to me as it would any other pedestrian in the crosswalk.

Yet, the car will stop and wait for me to enter the cross walk, hurriedly waving me to cross so they can ZOOOOOOM across even before I reach the other side. Really. I am maybe ten to fifteen feet from the edge of the sidewalk and I will visibly slow my pace to insure they do not have to wait for me to cross. But they don’t. They slam on the brakes and hurriedly wave me past. I sometimes wave them forward because I am WAAAAAAAAY back from the crosswalk to even think about crossing. It’s quite obvious that they have the Right-of-Way. But, no. They wave me passed again, this time, with anger on their face as if I dared ruin their courteous movements.

It has gotten so bad that I have to stop and pretend I’m looking at something on the ground or look at the street signs to pretend I’m lost. Sometimes, I don’t even cross, I’ll turn and go to the next intersection if I see a car slowly creeping to the crossing and the driver staring at me. I just don’t want to hold anyone up. That's all. It seems we are all in a hurry these days. Just don’t get mad if you clearly have the right of way and I choose not to cross.

Trying to get by WHILE I’M IN THE STINKING CROSSWALK, then honking at me like I’m in the way? That needs to stop….

+ This forgiveness of Roman Polanski. That needs to stop….

8:[ So, I went to attend a community writing project workshop at the Erie Neighborhood House. So, after I misjudged my stops and had to do a bit more walking to get the transfer, I end up arriving really early. So, I walk into the building following some people I think are also going to the workshop only to find out two things: they were attending an entirely different workshop, and the Erie Neighborhood House does not allow baseball caps to be worn indoors. It hosts several after school programs. So.

Like a rube I take mine off only after seeing the sign posted and a few seconds later, I find myself walking out the door having nothing better to do. Anyways, later on, I get back to the ENH to get to the workshop and remove my hat before entering this time and I go to the workshop. Afterwards, I put the hat on my head and walk out of the room. Now, once I get to the first floor, the workshop having happened in the third, I remember that I am not supposed to wear my cap inside, so I quickly take it off but then head out the door. The lady behind the front desk says, “No need to take it off now you’re heading for the door.”

I felt like a rube….

9:[ From the “This Just In” Department: I just knew it was a true story! I just knew it! “A Real Life Tatooine Discovered”. Now, where’s my life-sabers…..

10:[ Last Item of the Month: I was sitting in the book store coffee shop the other day when this family comes in with a rambunctious little boy. Now, I have nothing against the loudness of children and the parents that have to wrangle them, constantly. The kids are simply being kids and parents are awesome for keeping up. What made this little guy cool was that he was wearing a tie-on Batman cape. It looked like it was probably from a Halloween costume. He even ran up to some monkey-looking stuffed animals they had on display and proceeded to mete out justice on them by punching each of them in that playful kid way.

I was immediately transported to my own boyhood. I was a cape-wearer. All I had was towels though. I would have killed for an “official” Batman cape. Those old Halloween costumes never lasted with their plastic capes. I preferred safety pins to tying the corners and the fringed towels to the plain ones because they looked more like Batman capes. I even wore a shawl inside out because it looked like “Shazam’s” cape. I know. My brothers would make fun of me but I suspect they wore capes too once.

In fact in many of my childhood pictures you can see me wearing a bandana as a cape. I adore superheroes. I wanted to be one. I am one. But the mythology of them is what still attracts me. So, I still read comic books.

I remember once asking my dad if he saw or read any Superman comics as a kid. He told me “no” because they didn’t sell them in town, but when he was in the army he read a few because they were cheap. So, movies and comics are what I share with my dad. He even borrowed my Batman: Year One single issues to read but never got to. I regret him never getting to read those. Funny, how seeing a child still wearing a cape in this day and age makes you remember your own childhood.

That will do it for this month.

I hope the cooler weather is not too much for you to handle. Dude, it’s all just moving air anyways. Feel free to comment, to contradict, to correct or just to let others know what you think. And thanks to those who do so.

Until Next Time, “I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control everything really are.”

August - Summer 2011

2011-08-15T23:07:00.005-05:00

Wisdom of the Sages

Episode VIII

August– Summer 2011

Hello People of the World;

Here we are in the middle of the summer season. Now, there is only a month and six days until the official beginning of the autumn season, with its cooler temperatures. Before you know it, we’ll be complaining about the snow that we’ll get during winter. Can you imagine?

Hmm. It seems that I forgot about a little announcement I was supposed to make in last month’s edition. But I was waiting on the paperwork to come in. It has, so here we go: I will be teaching a “Native Americans in Media” course at the University of Wisconsin-Parkside starting next month. I give much thanks to Rita Pyrillis, a friend and former instructor of the course, for recommending me for the teaching post. I’ll do my best to inform the masses.

Boy, if you thought I was smug and arrogant before, wait until they get a load of me. Let’s get started, shall we?

1:[ First item of the month: The trailer for the Lucasfilm Produced “Red Tails”, a fictionalized account of the Tuskegee Airmen hit the web. Take a peek here.

So far it’s been garnering a lot of positive feedback on the comments sections of various websites. The chief point made: “A Lucasfilm not attached to Star Wars or Indiana Jones? I’m in!” Same here. I am pretty glad Lucasfilm is trying something different. George Lucas once stated he was going to do smaller, personal films, but that has yet to happen.

2:[ I must be old because I just don’t get the reason behind cellular phone “apps”. Why do we need all this superfluous stuff added to the simplicity of a mobile phone? For the answer I asked my little (not-so-little) girls, and Sam said, “Because it’s convenient.”

Convenient for what, I did not ask. I still do not get their purposes. I jokingly asked if there was an app that helped me make phone calls. Sam said, “Yeah, it’s called ‘Phone Book’.”

She said that so coolly and slyly that I could not tell if she was for real or blatantly making fun of me, which makes her all the more cool in either sense. Anyways, I still don’t get cell phone apps. What happened to the concept of just calling and talking to another person?

Or maybe, I’m just old.

3:[ A Review of Captain America: The First Avenger: I was surprised at how very little resonated with me with this movie. While I enjoyed the humanity of Steve Rogers, everything else felt rushed or part of a “The Avengers” ad. I did not feel the romance really connected between Rogers and Peggy Carter, again, it felt rushed to get to the end so we can see him get stuck in the ice, so their radio exchange had no resonance to it, his sacrifice without weight, because we all knew he’d wake up in the present.

Speaking of rushed; did you know his handpicked team also had a name? Yeah they are The Howling Commandos, but you never got to know them beyond ethnic distinctions. Plus, I hate it when the bad guys have all the powerful technologies but can’t seem to aim it. The laser rifles should have torn the soldiers to bits, but they had worse marksmanship than Imperial Stormtroops.

The biggest problem for me with the last Iron Man movie, Thor and this is the rushed second halves. As if, we got the origins out of the way, let’s just get the climax of this one out of the way now to get to the “The Avengers” movie. There was only one “Cool Moment” that I saw in it: when the Red Skull sees Captain America fighting off his men and know they are outmatched, then begins setting all the self-destructs.

The villain recognizing the hero in stories always makes for a cool moment for me. Sometimes. The rest was perfunctory nonsense to get to the end, to get him stuck in the ice and brought into the present for “The Avengers”. It was such an awkward and rushed shift that the audience I saw the movie with laughed when Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) appeared on-screen. Really.

I also found myself pretty bored with “Cowboys & Aliens”, a genre-blending action film with Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford as the cowboys, fighting to “get my family back!” This graphic spells it all out better than I could.

But I should add that it’s never a good sign with me when I laugh out loud at the introduction of the Natives in the film. I just knew that Adam Beach’s character had to die just so Harrison Ford’s son’s Reset Button can get hit. Can we stop making Harrison Ford grumble, “I want my family/daughter/son/wife back!” please?

Again, Charlotte hit the nail on the head and this is what kills these types of genre benders for me; Charlotte asks afterwards, “You mean those aliens with all their technology and lasers cannot defeat cowboys and Indians with guns and spears? Man, they’re like the stormtroopers from Star Wars!” (Yeah, she said that!)

I was also surprised with how good “Rise of the Planet of the Apes” was. What had been predicted as a flop from its first announcement is a very solid, sort of pre-boot to the original Chuck Heston “classic”, that features James Franco as a “scientist” looking for the cure to Alzheimer’s to save his father. Instead, he finds that his medicine makes chimps smarter. He ends up adopting Caesar, a chimpanzee genetically enhanced via his mother’s exposure to the cure, who leads a group revolt against his jailers. Pretty neat reboot of the series. The CGI work from Weta is top-notch and the motion-capture performance from Andy Serkis is also first rate. Funnily enough, this is the only one of the three I’d recommend.

4:[ Of late I found myself carrying two bags to work. Yeah, that’s my way of lightening my load. I carry a “man purse” around and as Bonnie has pointed out on several occasions, it is frickin’ heavy. No wonder I have back problems, she exclaims. So, to solve this I took some of the material out of the larger bag and stuffed them into one of the summer bags we have at work. (The 2011 T7 Summer Program bag!) And in addition to what comes out of the first bag, I put in other stuff in there that I think I will need because now that I have a second bag, I have the room for it!

Yep, to make the load lighter, I fill up two bags with heavier stuff and carry those around. Bonnie suggested that I make a WotS Video about what I carry. So, look for that very soon….

5:[ Ah yes, settle in Readers for more of:

Adventures at the Coffee Shop!

+ My Bonnie remarked, “Only Starbucks could put a blob of cake on a stick and charge $2 for it.”

+ I don’t mind being rushed by the baristas, especially when they have a long line to deal with. I am usually fourth or fifth in line and there are people in front of me making the most complicated demands. When it is my turn, they instantly know my order (A large sweetened iced coffee for all of you assassins.) that they state my order and I tell them yes for the sake of making the line move along for them….

+ Seriously, Mister Mercedes-Benz, parking in a spot clearly not marked as a parking spot? Then, he just stands there and smokes a cigarette. What a jackass.

+ I see the never having what I order at the Village Crossing Barnes & Noble coffee shop streak continues. I am wondering if a rise of apes would improve services? Your thoughts?

6:[ This gives me hope: What do Andy Lau, Jet Li, Tony Leung, Donnie Yen, Jackie Chan and Chow Yun-Fat all have in common besides being in some of the greatest Asian action/war/epic/dramatic movies of all time? Besides continuing to be the biggest box office draws in their homeland and all of Southeast Asia? Besides, endearing themselves to US audiences with their cool and style and roles and participation in some of the greatest action movies ever?

They are all in their late-forties to mid-fifties in age. That’s what. American actors take notes. The youngest of this bunch is 48 and the eldest is 57. I’m just a punk when it comes to these guys. I have a lot of time yet….

7:[ And now Wisdom of the Sages presents:

“An Ever-growing List of Things That MUST Stop!”

+ For the last few times I’ve crossed the street in front of my building, a car will zoom past and yell something at me as if I’m blithely standing in front of their car making a nuisance of myself. Don’t get me wrong, traffic is horrific on Ridge at Rush Period (no long Rush Hour) and I am also very aware that pedestrians have the right-of-way once they are in the crosswalk. Well, there is a cross walk at the street junction in front of my building.

But this has not stopped drivers from speeding by and yelling at me like I am purposely in their way. I usually wait until there is absolutely no oncoming traffic in either direction before I even step into the crosswalk. But during the rush, I have to wait on traffic gaps. When a gap occurs I check the other side to see if there are coming cars. If not, I plunge ahead. Lately though, I have been crossing with a car way down the street, obviously they have enough time and room to slow down for any pedestrians that step into the cross walk. But, no….

As they pass me they have to yell at me as if I didn’t care nor see them coming down the street. There was plenty of space and time to see me. One jerk yelled “Whoa!” as if he had to swerve to miss me. I was securely across the street by the time he passed, such was the space and time I had. Another was a young lady saying “HELL-LOOO?” as if I didn’t see them. Again, I was already across the street once they passed. So, that disregard to crosswalk pedestrians needs to stop….

+ Again, what’s with the perfectly able-bodied parking in the disabled space to get a “Quick Coffee”? That needs to stop. Seriously. Starbucks coffee isn’t THAT good! Besides, just because there is a handicapped vehicle parked in the “normal” spots, doesn’t mean that you can take the handicapped space “just because”. Sheesh, this needs to stop. Simple consideration has gone out the door….

8:[ I believe my Bonnie just coined the term “Berg-y” when describing the types of “Art Films” she wished at one point to be a fan of. To explain: we were talking about how our tastes in movies have changed since our high school/college days. She loves movies like “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly” and “Unforgiven”, mostly westerns and how when she was in college she never thought she would. She wanted to like the “foreign” films, the bleak, black and white “Berg-y” films.

She was eluding to “Ingmar Bergman” I thought. But she actually said “murky”. To which I said, “The difference being?”

She replied, “Well, yeah okay… ‘Berg-y’.”

So, she coined a new term for the overly pretentious, self-serious, nonsensical, art house films that people tolerate rather than enjoy. So, Berg-y.

9:[ From the “This Just In” Department: Nothing really stood out for me here in this category this month. On the way home today I was on the Purple Line heading for Howard when the train stops at Jarvis for signals. I look out the window at the Elite Auto Repair and in their garage there was a play going on. I thought it was pretty cool for the city to stage something like that at a auto body repair place. It was a part of this. I had hoped to go see the show later on but tonight was the final performance….

10:[ Last Item of the Month: So there I was, standing in the Seven-Eleven downtown grabbing a coffee. I noticed two things: one) they now have animated menus and ad boards in most stores now. They are basically HD TVs that play ads or menu items for the store. Which led me to this observation: We don’t watch TV Programs anymore, we watch TVs. In that, I mean as long as a TV-like machination is spewing colors, sounds and motions, we will sit there and watch it.

I noticed this one day at a local Dunkin’ Donuts. They had four HD TVs lined up and on the center two they had animated menus. Cool. On the outer two were ads for their special deals and specific menu items. There was another family in there with me and we all kept looking to the boards watching them like TVs and all they had were bouncing pancake sausage bites and pouring coffee shots. Weird.

Two) I noticed in one of the ads in the Seven-Eleven, they have Slurpee cups depicting Pro Wrestling “Super Stars”. I don’t know which, WWE or iMPACT! But one of the wrestlers shown was a guy called “The Miz”. Which made me laugh out loud because all my Wind River Rez peeps know the local colloquialism for an overly flirtatious, self-center chick is “Miz”, as in “This one, stop acting like a miz.” Or, “Yee, is that your new miz?”

So, seeing a big, manly wrestler called “The Miz” makes me laugh every time.

That will do it for this month.

I begin my class next month, so feel free to wish me luck. I am a touch nervous about it as I usually feel underprepared but I will follow my own advice, it is probably easier than I think. I hope you are all doing well and whatnot. Feel free to leave a comment, a question, a contradiction or a disagreement. I’ll let ya.

In closing I need to mention the recent passing of Dale Smith. I considered him a mentor and a father figure to me. He was stern and exacting when it came to your performance on-air. I am a better person for it. I owe him much and will never forget him.

Until Next Time, “I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control everything really are.”

July - Summer 2011

2011-07-15T23:54:00.005-05:00

Wisdom of the Sages

Episode VII

July – Summer 2011

Hello People of the World;

Happy Birth of a Nation Day to you and yours! To celebrate, I let a European immigrant family sign a lease in my backyard! Boy, this humidity doesn’t make the heat any easier to bear. But what do you expect? It’s summer. Why act surprised?

Guess what, by my estimation, it has been ten years since I began putting out my overly, jam-packed email to which I entitled “Wisdom of the Sages” and sent it out to all of my friends’ email addresses. Ten years of sharing with you my observations, news that interested only me, movie reviews, the odd book or movie quote and all around inbox nuisance, which recently expanded to video form.

I will soon be posting a WotS Video on my observations on this very minor accomplishment in my life. But, firstly, to celebrate this “milestone”, I present an overly packed edition of your favorite now-‘blog newsletter! Anyways, let’s get started, shall we?

1:[ First item of the month: I’ve noted a recent phenomenon: Parents pushing larger-than-necessary children in baby strollers. You’ve seen them, in the streets, crowding the already packed bus, taking precious seating on el trains, making the lines longer wherever there happens to be a line in front of you. There they are, moving in a large pack with a huge, gigantic, gi-normous, three-seat, two-tiered stroller with a sun hood, cup holders and inflated tires, getting on the crowded #22 bus. Inside sits a kid that clearly doesn’t need to be in it. He or she’s 4-years-old, stuffing their face with Cheet-ohs or the like, kicking their dragging legs and huge tennis shoes and the parents don’t care. This kid has a frickin’ vocabulary, for cri-sakes! They promptly block the aisle with their kid and cart and the bus rolls on without a care, despite the audio warning that states: when the bus is crowded, baby strollers should be folded to make more room.

Despite my prejudiced judgment of them, these are very prepared parents that at least are making an effort at making their children comfortable. I’ve seen parents not even try. And those that complain usually don’t have children to begin with. Imagine taking a child out for an entire day in the heat of summer or cold of winter. The child will not last long regardless of how much sugar you give them. Little kids get tired. So, in an effort to make sure the child reserves energy for the destination they are heading to, they drag out the stroller. Because, as I have experienced, any kid will yell “I’m tired” at some inconvenient point and so the parent will place the child in the stroller to keep them on the move.

Let’s face facts: a child does NOT like being dragged around. So, putting them in a stroller until they are big enough (well, bigger) to keep up is pretty smart on some parents’ part. Plus, with a kid in a stroller, you are able to keep a better eye on them in huge crowds and know where they are at all times. I am willing to endure some inconvenience for the sake of a strangers’ child’s safety and a parent’s sanity. Been there, done that….

2:[ So, I saw U2 360 at Soldier Field and man, it was a great show. My only complaints are that the sound system seemed off from our seats, with Bono’s mic turned down and we got a lot of slapback echo from those ugly scoreboards there and I wish they sang more songs off the new album, which is vastly, vastly, VASTLY underrated, other than that? Awesomeness defined. I loved the updated graphics on the video cone, the worn-in look of The Claw and as always, the simple presence of the band, which seems to elevate the whole show.

This was also the first rock concert for my Char. She thoroughly enjoyed it. As soon I announced that I would be taking her, Bonnie and Sammie to the show, Bono hurt his back and the concert was postponed a year. But, to see Char sing along, recognize songs she loves was well worth the wait. She still brings it up when ever we’re together. Her favorite part was elevation.

I enjoyed the new intro to “One” with a new greeting by recently freed Burmese leader Aung San Suu Kyi. Loved the inclusion of “Zooropa” and “Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me Kill Me”. With the closer “Moment of Surrender” and the final inclusion of “One Tree Hill”, the band was in good form. A great show. This was the fifth time I’ve seen them live.

3:[ I was challenged to write a 2 word review of “Green Lantern”, so, to satisfy that: Pee Yew.

Since I love my Char with all of my heart, I am guilty of contributing to the financial rewarding of Michael Bay’s soulless moviemaking and to the success of “Transformers 3”. I was actually quite hopeful when I saw that last trailer because it hinted that a real story might be taking place with the robots. But in the end it was nothing but more flash and bigger ‘splosions. There was a bit more of a storyline but in the end, this trilogy failed its own mythology. Wasted the characters of the robots, and distilled it down to two-hour digital effects reels. Char laughed at the single shot of the pretty girl standing there, as Char put it, “just being pretty.”

The live action Megatron has to be the most ineffectual bad guy in the history of movies. Then, Optimus Prime kills him, really easily at the end. I’m not spoiling anything in that because let’s face it. Megatron died in all of the movies. That’s how ineffectual a bad guy he is. Don’t worry, he’ll be back in the sequel, prequel, reboot.

And because there was nothing else I wanted to take Char to, we saw “Cars 2”. Boy, was I confused with all the answers to all the questions left over from the first “Cars”. I was so lost. It was about the tow truck’s adventures in the world. It was fun, but utterly frivolous. I am sure they had to make this to broker “Brave” into production.

I have more to say about “Green Lantern”, but it did everything I feared it would do wrong. Once again, the film fails its own mythology. And all this flash points to a disturbing trend in movie watching: the utter infantilization of movie audiences. All people want now is to be entertained.

They want flash and dazzled masked as story and character. They want loud noises and explosions masked as taut thrillers and action. They want cheap jump-put scares and nostalgia-induced movie killers over genuine chills and mental mindf*cks that smarter movies are capable of. They want remakes and prequels and sequels and reboots rather than trying something different with a familiar formula. People want no risks and mental escape hatches rather than a challenge to their brains to think ahead or ponder the ponderables. Those whom do not want to “sit though boring movies where nothing happens” are simply afraid to challenge themselves.

“13 Assassins” had the right balance and it was cool. “Tree of Life” was challenging and all the more richer for it. You can call me a movie snob but I am not as snobbish as many people I know. I feel I have found a good balance of what makes a good movie for me. Anyways.

I saw these three movies and all of them felt like cartoons, non-sustentative. But I love my Char and I’ll watch them with her. What is really cool is how she will talk about them and pick them apart too. She didn’t like them as much as a child should. But then again, she’s not a child any more. She thinks about them. She had more questions about the mythology of the Lanterns, the history of the transformers, she buzzed about those, did research on them and discussed them with me, more so than she did with the actual movies. It is comforting that I am raising a smart movie-watcher here. So, maybe there is hope after all….

4:[ Remember all that talk about The Rapture? How it was to occur on May 21, 2011? When it didn’t, the date was changed. And, we all laughed at the people making the predictions and the folks who believed. Yeah, I have one question about that: What if it DID happen? Not that I mean let’s talk about it as a hypothetical but as an actual passed event. What if it DID happen and none of us were worth the Almighty’s selection?

Maybe that’s why we laugh at all these Rapture predictions and the like. Because we know, deep down inside, as a human race, we are TOTALLY not worth it. Maybe that’s why they keep changing the date and times; because it didn’t happen the way we wanted it to, because we were not chosen or because we are not the zenith of human morality. Maybe, we really are not worth it.

The only other option compounds the question of belief, so we’ll ignore that for now.

What if The Rapture happened, but none of us are the piety worth selecting?

5:[ Ah yes, settle in Readers for more of:

Adventures at the Coffee Shop!

+ “If I may ask,” the new tall, pretty barista begins, and then continues to ask despite my not giving an answer to either regard, “What tribe are you?”

After the usual flair of anger spikes, which I usually quickly quell because it is entirely unfair, I reply, “Northern Arapaho.”

“Excuse me, what?” She couldn’t hear me. So I had to convert to my speaking voice rather than my talking voice. People who know me well know the difference, “Northern Arapaho.”

“Huh, I never heard of them,” Why am I not surprised? That is usually the follow-up to “What tribe are you?” in The Conversation.

So, I know what is coming next after I reply, “We’re Plains Indians.”

“Yeah? Where from?”

“Wyoming.”

“Never heard of any Native Americans from Wyoming.”

“Well, we’re there.” Then, with that out of the way comes Part Two of The Conversation: The Real Reason I Asked Because I Don’t Really Care About You:

“I’m part Indian, too.”

One of these days I will work up the nerve to answer “Well, I’m not” but for now I think that would be pretty rude.

“Through my mother’s side,” (Why is it always the ‘mother’s side’?), she continues “She never told me which, but she said, Woodlands Indian.”

We talk about woodlands for a little while, mostly, what areas constitute woodlands, mostly so we can determine what tribe. But she felt compelled to add, “But my mom said it’s only a small part. Not that it would matter, right?”

To which I replied, with all sincerity, “Well, so long as you are still you as a person, that would be the most important, I think.”

And, that’s were I left it. She never spoke to me again outside of talking about the weather once. Why is it that people ALWAYS talk about the weather with Indians? I do my best to be patient with these conversations because of the sensibilities of today you can offend almost anyone without even trying. I’m pretty damn good at that. Ask anyone. Anyways. I can tell you this much right now. More people will be interested in her being a very partly Woodland Indian, than in me being an enrolled member of the Northern Arapaho tribe….

+ I feel that I’ve spent at least 10% (maybe more) of my life standing in lines of one form or another. I feel I am pretty good at waiting. A lot of people wait in lines. I am perfectly capable for waiting in lines. I am Waiting’s Patron Saint. I have even waited five hours for the chance, the CHANCE to give Lucasfilm my money for a t-shirt and an action figure. I’ve waited in lines for movies, concerts, at the post office, at the grocery store, for autographs, signed books, for food and the like and none of that has ever really bothered me. Or I try not to let it. But for some reason, I get so mad when after standing in line for ten minutes to order a coffee and sit down at a table in a fast-crowding shop, someone can just walk in, plop their shit down at the only empty table and then get in line. That just frickin’ burns me. I try to not lose my world famous patience over it, but still….

+ One time, waiting for my Chicago brothers Mike and Dave to pick me up at the Wilson/Lincoln Avenues Starbucks I found out that: Doing nothing makes white people nervous.

Please excuse my racist assertion. (Or don’t, you’d be justified.) But the place was so crowded and folk there were sooooo set on keeping all available tables to themselves. I had to ask an old lady if I could sit at the table next to her because she was sitting alone at two tables pushed together. I pulled one apart and sat down and waited. I had my medium iced coffee (Sorry, I refuse to use the Stabucks lingo for sizes) and was waiting for the creamer station to open up. A minute passed into 15 as I sat there pretty much unmoving, except to rest my chin in my hand and to shift my weight. I did so also to cool down from walking in the humidity.

Once a table at the window opened up, I moved there and thought I’d see what happened if I kept it up. I sat down with my un-creamed, untouched coffee and waited for my bros, doing nothing. I had my manpurse set aside, my coffee melting and I did nothing. Just sat and waited. Man, everyone after a few minutes would look at me until I caught their eye. There was maybe one Latina gal in there waiting for her mom, since I couldn’t avoid overhearing her phone conversation, and she just didn’t care. Nope, all the Caucasians were looking at me nervously.

They all looked up from their iPads and Macbooks to stare at me until I caught their eyes, for which they immediately went back to what they were doing. But they snuck peeks during my time there, some even whispering and pointing me out to their companions. I was not angry nor did I feel discriminated against because that was the reaction I wanted to evoke. I sat there for 45 minutes before I got up to cream my coffee….

+ In that same Starbucks, I noticed something: A lot of people just sit around and do nothing. I’m serious. I miss the days when we were smarter than our phones. But all I saw among the elite are scads of people sitting around, looking dully at a screen of some sort. Sad, really…. (And hypocritical, because I’m staring at a screen as I write this….)

6:[ I have decided to name my Virgin Mobile cell phone “Floyd” after the character in the movie “True Romance.” Here’s why: My cell phone is so totally inept at relaying messages in a timely manner, just like the movie character. At times a whole day has passed, a WHOLE DAY before my phone beeps an alert that I’ve gotten a text or missed a call or has a voice mail.

I remember one day I was talking to my co-worker Debra and when she mentioned that she returned my call a few hours before, my phone beeps like it’s saying “Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that dude.”

There are times I’m with Bonnie and Char and my phone will beep with missed calls from them days before. Sheesh. So, now my cell phone is named Floyd. So, from now on, when I mention that Floyd never gave me the message, you will know what I’m talking about.

7:[ And now Wisdom of the Sages presents:

“An Ever-growing List of Things That MUST Stop!”

+ Perfectly able-bodied people, that park crookedly in the handicap space to get “a quick coffee”? That sh*t must end.

+ Giving a fucking pass to famous people: Chris Brown does not need awards, folks. I’m sorry. Charlie Sheen doesn’t need attention or our money. He needs to go away. Mel Gibson, Woody Allen, Roman Polanski, Octomom, Reality TV Stars, seriously folks, we need to exercise some common sense here….

+ People walking out into traffic! Still! I don’t know the pedestrian laws here but I’m pretty sure you have the right-of-way when you cross in the crosswalks, but in the middle of the street? Come on, common sense states: if you walk into traffic, you’re going to get hit. Common Sense, when did we collectively lose that?

+ I’m going to tell you this story: On the bus going down Western avenue a Crazy Lady gets on. I put that as a proper title because every so often, one gets on the bus or train. You know the type: dirty, silver hair, second hand sweater or jacket, sometimes they wear old school eye glasses, overly loud, overly talkative with too many bags. Yeah, you know the type. Not that we are judgmental or prejudice.

Anyways, she gets on and gets to her seat, when, right behind her a man in a motorized wheelchair gets on and his fare card is short one dollar, so the driver says he cannot ride. He is about to turn around and get off when, apropos of nothing, the Lady says, “I have a dollar!”

She then, makes a show of her getting the dollar out of one of her many bags, stating over and over, “I have a dollar. I’m sorry, I’m moving as fast as I can.”

And, once the guy in the wheelchair takes his designated spot he thanks the lady for the dollar, and the Lady did not stop: “I know what’s it’s like to be in a wheel chair”, “God gives us our pains for a reason” (As if that is a comfort to the guy in the wheelchair.) and she kept saying over and over “Well, all the people on this bus are selfish. They’re self-centered. They care only for themselves.” Like that, over and over, “They’re selfish. They’re self-centered. They care only for themselves.”

People just went back to there papers or looked away, ignoring her judgments and proclamations. One even made the ‘crazy’ hand sign to another passenger. But the Lady kept on; “They’re selfish. They’re self-centered. They care only for themselves.”

I went back to my paper. I was annoyed at her constant rant until it struck me: She was absolutely right. We were all selfish and self-centered on that bus. I mean, even though she never gave anyone else a chance to help the guy in the wheelchair, no one jumped at the chance to help him. We were all secretly glad he was being told to get off because, why not, more seating for us able-bodies. There was no “End-of-’Spartacus’” scene with every passenger standing up, one after the other, holding up a single, while stating, “I, have a dollar”, “I have a dollar”, “No, I have a dollar” and so forth.

No, we ignored the both of them, the wheelchair man and the Crazy Lady. We ignored her truth about our natures. Because, we all had that loophole, that mental escape clause to ignore her truth with the fact that she was a bit goofy. Our smug self-satisfaction and unwillingness to help washed away simply because we can call her the Crazy Lady.

So, that sort of judgment? That needs to stop….

+ All of the friends I have that I consider smart, intelligent but buy into the zeitgeists? That has to stop. You all know better. Come on.

8:[ So this is now our National Discourse, is it? The Casey Anthony verdict? Jennifer versus Angelina? Blago imprisoned? Really folks? Reality TV and shallow movies? Bread and Circuses, people. Amalgamation and Capital. We have better things to think about. We have graver issues to deal with and yet we always have time to find the things that keep us separated. We seem to pre-occupied with the “American Dream” when we should be wide awake….

Turn off the TV for a while. Listen to the world around you. I’m not saying I’ve found the perfect way or that I have the answer, but looking for an answer is better than being told how to act, wouldn’t you think?

9:[ From the “This Just In” Department: I went and saw “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II” and while I will right a more comprehensive review at a later time, I must gush about the “The Dark Knight Rises” teaser trailer. Simply an awesome tease of what’s to come.

Ra’s al Ghul’s monologue from “Batman Begins” about becoming more than a man and turning to legend. Then a long scene of a hospital bed-ridden James Gordon talking to either Bruce Wayne or Batman, it is never made clear, begging for Batman to return. There is a view of a crumbling Gotham City in which the skyline becomes the Bat symbol. Which is the latest teaser poster. Then, the last shot. Oh my gosh!!! Batman backing away in fear of a hulking mass coming at him!

July 2012 cannot get here fast enough. It’ll be online soon. Check it out if you can. But nothing beats seeing it on the big screen. It is at the top of my Top Ten of 2012 Movies to see!

10:[ Last Item of the Month: Turns out Cheyenne, Wyoming is the new Cayman Islands! It turns out that some major corporations that want tax breaks use a house address in my old home state as a mailing address. According to the article: “Wyoming Corporate Services will help clients create a company, and more: set up a bank account for it; add a lawyer as a corporate director to invoke attorney-client privilege; even appoint stand-in directors and officers as high as CEO. Among its offerings is a variety of shell known as a "shelf" company, which comes with years of regulatory filings behind it, lending a greater feeling of solidity.” Yep, that’s right. Wyoming is the new home of tax loopholes.

It figures.

That will do it for this month.

I really would like to thank any of you that continue to read my little diatribes. I really do write with the readers in mind. And also, thank you to all my friends, whom, from time to time, will pipe up about something I wrote about. Hearing “Yeah, I read you’re webpage/’blog/newsletter, and…” is pretty nice and always leads to a good talk after. Even, if you don’t agree with me.

So, for the next Wisdom of the Sages Video, I think I’ll take you through my process of writing this little blog. Keep an eye on YouTube for that very soon. Ten years is a long time to keep this silly little thing going. As my Bonnie put, it’s a testament to my “Stick-to-it-iviness”. I guess. As always, feel free to comment on, or disagree with any item on here. I look forward to hearing from you. Thanks again.

Until Next Time, “I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control everything really are.”

June - Summer 2011

2011-06-16T00:01:00.008-05:00

Wisdom of the Sages

Episode VI

June – Summer 2011

Hello People of the World;

Looks like summer is finally upon us. Actually, I’m guessing at that since I am writing this introduction on May 20, 2011. Now that time has past, wow, what a scorcher! With this expected heat arriving in the month of June, that can only bring, you guessed it: the bitching about the UNEXPECTED heat that June brings! Come on. Get over yourselves.

What is also humorous and makes me better than you is how quick people become wimpy in the summer. It rises in temperature and folk complain like it caught them off-guard and ruined the crops or something. Then, it drops to the mid-60’s and people break out the winter gear! What babies! Really, how can you be surprised by the weather?

Anyways, let’s get started, shall we?

1:[ First item of the month: The Illinois State legislature approved a bill that would put a casino in Chicago and gambling machines in the airports. This is represented as a measure to pay off the huge debt that the state has. But like other measures, will we see the funds get to the right place? I don’t know.

The lottery was a measure and the new parking meters were another. But I overheard a PACE driver remark, “With gas prices so high, and rates going up on electricity, phone bills, bank fees and mortgages, prices on food and basic services going up all over, now the state wants us to gamble away what we got left? That doesn’t make sense.”

2:[ So I went to the store to pick up my usual gallon of Lipton Green Tea with Citrus when I noticed that they are now selling smaller bottles of green tea with “Natural” ingredients. So, does this mean they have been selling green tea with UN-natural ingredients?

Which begs the question: Why not sell the green tea with natural ingredients in the first place?

3:[ Once again I was able to make it out and see a few movies. But it looks like I have been on a lucky streak of late as the last three movies I’ve seen were pretty damned good. CLICK HERE for the quick reviews.

4:[ I have to ask, since when did some guy wearing an earring start being called “Edgy”? Come on, you’re supposed to be a man, not a pirate!

Now, don’t come at me with that “men wearing earrings has been a part of our culture for centuries” nonsense. What I’m asking, since it’s very much an accepted part of our cultures, why is a guy wearing one even considered “edgy”?

5:[ Ah yes, the long overdue and eagerly anticipated return of:

Adventures at the Coffee Shop!

+ “I’m Cherokee!” she announced as I barely had time to sit down. She did not look native but who am I to judge this? Still, Native Americans have had generations of non-Natives appropriating their identities for no other reasons as to gain sympathy or “benefits”. So, it makes one sort of antsy to react. But before I could reply, she adds, “I know, you don’t believe me.” (Which I will suspect will be the new prejudice against Native, that we don't "believe".)

So, fine, maybe you are. Why should I care. I just shook my head and answered “Northern Arapaho” of course, she had never heard of them. Then, as she went to pick up her half-caf, skinny, tofu mocha, (or whatever the hell it was) and later babble loudly with this guy about all the things they are being denied, like boat docking permits, did she say “yeah, we have to get the land back for you. And me too!” No sh*t, she said that. But what could I do. The sensibility of indeterminate Native American identity has become a game of “Damned If You Do, Damned If you Don’t”. Which kind of pisses me off because it shouldn’t be a game to begin with. Anyways, I sipped my coffee and returned to my drawings…

+ Bonnie and I were trying to enjoy our coffee except for the babbling suburban expats in the B&N. Man, they just would not shut up. In these trying economic times, it does not generate empathy in my fellow man when all he can talk about is all the drinking games that go with every single movie ever made and describing them in detail. You have never know hardships of the lower class when you brag about how much you drink or what boating permits are being denied to you…

+ So, I’m sitting in a corner by the door and every so often a customer will stop to stare at me sketching my sketches. I am so tempted to put up a “Do Not Feed the Native Artist” sign on my table…

+ Just overheard someone on the cell talking about someone else behind their back and then has the fucking gall to say, “That’s the thing about me, I’m an honest person.”

6:[ Yay! I finally got the long gestating “Mikey Redshade Saves the World” up and running. I came up with the idea a little over a year ago when I, as a regular reader of “Frazz” saw one of the child characters wearing a bicycling helmet and though he looked like a child being a superhero. So, I took the image, added a cape and made the character a 6-year-old Northern Arapaho transplant to the city. (Sort of his Kryptonian origin.)

As I refined the character, background and such, showing the roughs to a few friends, I lost the helmet idea as well as drew him more in the vein of Peanuts or Clavin and Hobbes. Lately, there have been a rash of other artists coming up with their own versions of a Native kids thinking they’re a superhero. So, I figured I’d put out mine in the only way I knew how. Also, as my Charlotte said, “Sometimes people get the same ideas.”

I cannot wait to read the other versions and know that this could be the first step in a Native kid as superhero renaissance that will be another path to better representations in such a simple media form, the newspaper comic strip. Anyway, I am posting colored strips on my “Redshade Report” weblog for now, hoping that as interest grows, I can move it to its own site.

Take a look and tell me what you think.

7:[ And now Wisdom of the Sages presents:

“An Ever-growing List of Things That MUST Stop!”

+ The MTV Movie Awards: Why would a Music Channel hand out movie awards?

+ That people who state loudly they are making a stand for others, then add, “I have to do this for me” hypocrisy? That should stop.

+ TV characters calling themselves a “Magnificent Bastard” in their fire up speeches must stop…

+ The History Channel not doing historical programming. That needs to stop…

8:[ One of the sad things in the materialistic, cool, pop-culture portion of my life I will regret never getting into fully, is the Beastie Boys. For all the great albums and accolades that have been heaped upon them since their debut, I never listened to one song fully outside of “Sabotage”, and I only listened to it once mainly because of their clever video.

You can blame “You Gotta Fight For Your Right To Party” for this happening. That insipid teen party anthem just turned me off from the first moment I heard it. It would give mooks reason to act like mooks; like it is some form of personal rights choice but they are really just choosing to be idiots. Add to that that the song was played ad nausea at St. Stephen’s Indian School, because let’s face it, Indian kinds don’t know any better than other kids.

So, because I had a ludicrous image of myself, I never really checked out the Beastie Boys. And because of that, I missed out on “Paul’s Boutique”, “Check Your Head” and “Ill Communication”. But fret not. I am not going to jump on the bandwagon now because that would not make me a true a fan that has stuck with them from the start. But I am just sorry I missed out on years of their music…

9:[ From the “This Just In” Department: I never thought I’d live to see the day, of something I talked about in many a presentation of Native Americans in media: a part-Kickapoo played Superman. Who knew?

10:[ Last Item of the Month: How’s this for tragic irony:

Yesterday I saw a cargo van with the label “Gonzalez’ Fencing”.

That will do it for this month.

I’ve been pretty good at adding new WotS videos. Look for another for Father’s Day. In case you missed any, here’s the YouTube Playlist. Also, I’ve been sitting on U2 tickets for more than a year and hopefully, in next month’s edition, I’ll get to tell you about the U2 360 Tour’s return to Chicago. Also, I will be announcing something new and cool. Something I’ve been keeping to myself, as well as telling a few select people, because I need to get some paperwork out of the way first. But, here’s a hint: Those who can’t do, teach…

Until Next Time, “I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control everything really are.”

May - Spring 2011

2011-05-16T20:06:00.007-05:00

Wisdom of the Sages

Episode V

May – Spring 2011

Hello People of the World;

Here we are five months into the new year. It doesn’t feel so new any more does it. You see? Life goes on. May, for some reason is the month we associate most with Spring. We constantly celebrate “new beginnings” during this month with graduations and such. We also celebrate Mother’s Day this month. Funny, since mothers are mothers for the other 364 days of the year too.

Anyways, I hope this May finds you in cheerful weathers. If not, finds you bitching about, I'm sure...

Let’s get started, shall we?

1:[ First item of the month: There are reasons that I don’t buy into such things as Groupon. And as selfish as it seems, there is a reason I don’t buy Girl Scout cookies anymore. Because of this people think I’m strange. But I just try to consider things before I plunge in. So, don’t judge… Leave that to me.

2:[ Here is a list of common lies that Chicagoans tell themselves, apparently. I guess that Chicagoans need to constantly lie to themselves to be secure in their identity as Chicagoans. Weird. Here’s one we should add: “Real Chicagoans cross the street wherever they like.”

Yes, someone actually said this to me…

3:[ You know what I just saw? From the train I saw a woman in a school parking lot walk up to her car but place her cup of coffee on the hood of the car next to hers, in case it spills, then proceeds to open up her car to get at her junk. Wow. Part of me wanted to coffee to suddenly break open and spill…. Oh, for the superpower of telekinesis!

4:[ I have only seen six movies so far this year. I know, I am way behind. But of course, Hollywood makes it so easy to skip the theater with all the nonsense they put out these days. So, in an effort to catch up, I will quick review all the movies I have seen this year. CLICK HERE for these awesome reviews! (Or not)

5:[ Sitting in my usual Starbucks on an early Saturday, I notice that there seems to be a pretty, new barista. It is funny to see the usual Guy baristas suck it in and try to be charming and witty when they all absolutely treated the last female barista that worked here terribly.

Now there are so terribly helpful that it is actually funny. I want to say to the young lady, “Careful, they’ll make you dump the garbage and clean the restrooms, like they did the last young lady that worked here.”

Or maybe they won’t. I guess blondes do have more fun….

On another coffee shop note: (Besides coffee shop being two words, not one, idiot!) Starbucks put out a recycling bin where you drop in your used paper cup, but also you can recycle your lids and coffee sleeves. An admirable idea but I’m sorry Starbucks, my Charlotte had this idea a long time ago. She was pretty cool about it when I told her though, which is why she is The Awesome, she said, “Yeah, people get the same ideas sometimes.”

6:[ So, I found myself walking without my manpurse the other day when my Bonnie had to get home early during a movie and I left it in the van. So, I walked around Evanston for a bit and found how much quicker I move without it. Mainly, because I’ve been told that my manpurse weighs a ton. I don’t get it. But I noted that my body moves differently when not weighed down. I even swing my hips. Weird. But I noted how much faster I move, how much quicker my pace is when I am not carrying my stuff with me.

7:[ And now Wisdom of the Sages presents:

“An Ever-growing List of Things That MUST Stop!”

+ Seriously, what’s with everyone suddenly wearing the crappy Harry Potter-style glasses?

+ People please, when you get to the cashier, please, please, please have your coupons clipped and at the ready. I am generally not an impatient man, but you are stepping on a lot of other people’s patience and good faith. Don’t just carry the weekly ad and then take time to leaf through it to find a coupon that you never took the time to clip out.

+ Jackasses that have big, brand new, still shiny, not even remotely used for their intended purpose pickup trucks who crookedly park any way they want because their trucks are over-compensating for other inadequacies.

+ Calling the Chicago professional hockey team “The ‘Hawks”. They are not named after the birds, they are named after Chief Blackhawk, which is why the NHL hems and haws about their logo. “It’s to honor Native Americans and most especially, Chief Blackhawk.” But now, ‘Meri-cans, most especially Ch’KAG-oh-ins, do not even say it right. They are the Blackhawks, not The ‘Hawks. If you cannot get the logo right, at least get the name right, or fucking change the fucking logo to a fucking hawk!

+ So, I was on the train this morning when a sharp dressed man, young anglo with slicked back cornsilk hair and sharp shoes gets on and sits in the row perpendicular to mine. But, he smelled like he was out late last night with musky BO beer sweat and overnight brewery breath. You know the smell. He sits there all sullen and quiet. But he looks impeccable. Seriously.

Then, at the next stop a lady gets on and sits right next to him. She catches the scent and covers her nose with a hanky and such but all the while she looks at me! Seriously. It didn’t help I was sitting in the next row wearing my NATIVE PRIDE, but she kept looking at me, pitching me mean looks. I didn’t pay attention to her though. Finally, after two stops she gets up in a huff, while still looking at me, making a big deal about moving seats.

Then, this nice looking young fellow simply pulls a tiny bottle of pink wine, a blush I believe it’s called, twists it open and drains half the bottle in one swig, right in front of everyone. Then, he nurses it the rest of the time I’m on the train. Just goes to prove the old adage, you cannot judge a book by its cover. But people seemed to give this guy a pass because of his looks. I may be raggedy but I’m no drunk. So, that type of prejudice? That needs to stop.

+ I have decided that people purposely see bad movies just so they can talk about how bad they are in an effort to appear smarter… Seriously. So, that needs to stop…

+People that grab a table before they buy their coffee should be shot….

8:[ I had Easter Lunch with my Bonnie at the local Baker’s Square. You know, the place famous for pies and such. I’ve always wanted to go there with a bunch of friends and order a slice of every pie to share between us. Someday, maybe. Any ways, we were looking though the little pie rolodex, you know that thing, when Bonnie shows me the new “Celebration Pie”. Wow.

What it is is a pie that is a combination pie, chocolate crème I believe, chocolate cake and vanilla ice cream topped with a whip crème topping and sprinkles. Why not just bring you a platter with a silver dagger on it that you can just plunge right into your heart?

9:[ From the “This Just In” Department: I guess in a non-canonical story, Superman renounced his US citizenship. And everyone lost their shit about it. How can we, as grown-up, adult-like people get all pissy and crybaby-y (um, yeah) about what a made up comic book character does? I mean really. It’s like we were expecting Superman to have killed Osama Bin Laden ‘cause he’s “Uh’merican” or something. You know?

But Superman couldn’t have done that. You know why?

SUPERMAN IS NOT F^CKING REAL! Grow up.

10:[ Last Item of the Month: I get all kinds of offers from my phone company for new packages and plans, for being "One of our most loyal customers”, yet for all of my years of loyalty, I never get an offer to have my rates reduced. Wouldn’t that be something?

Something else I noticed when I logged on to Hulu: whenever I get the ads, it has the tickbox that asks if the ad is relevant to me. I tick “no” to every single one. Because of this, Hulu throws every type of ad under the sun trying to peg me as a marketing label they can sell to.

So, I have gotten a variety of ads; such as: alcohol (those ads came and went, quickly), cars (they must’ve figured I’m poor, so those have stopped), laundry detergent and home improvement lately (they must figure I’m a mom), insurance (which is funny because they figured I cannot afford a car), internets services, (natch), and the latest phones. But I tick “No”, not relevant to me, to every ad.

So now I get a bunch of ads about mental disorders. And you know what?

There is no tick box to ask relevancy!

That will do it for this month.

I’ve decided to make the next WotS Video about my mom. So, keep an eye out for “Wisdom of the Sages Video – Episode V: Driving with Mom for Thousands of Miles” coming soon to WotS Video! CLICK HERE for the current WotS Playlist. I will update the link as soon as the latest video is posted.

In the meantime, feel free to comment, question, and contradict anything I write up here. I am not infallible, I think. My ego flatters me to think that I write greatness that everyone agrees with. So, please partake of the discussion.

If not, I’ll just accept your silence as your intellectual defeat and that I am the greatest of all. Okay? Yeah? Good.

Until Next Time, “I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control everything really are.”

April - Spring 2011

2011-04-15T01:45:00.004-05:00

Wisdom of the Sages

Episode IV

April – Spring 2011

Hello People of the World;

You know what? Snow. Snow I understand. It’s officially Spring now and snow keeps coming unexpectedly. And most folk have a right to bitch about it. But rain? Come on. Why do people act all surprised when the lightning’s crashing and the poison arrows from Heaven fall, like THAT was unexpected FOR SPRING!?!?!? What?

It seems to be finally warming up. Maybe I can go outside and stretch me legs out a bit. We’re in for a rainy spring this year, I believe. So, just remember, there is something to be learned from a rainstorm.

Let’s get started, shall we?

1:[ First item of the month: Turns out “Good Credit” is bad for you. Here’s a link to a story about a woman who did everything correct. She paid a lot of her bills and such, on time. She used cash when she could. She cleared her debts in a timely manner (she paid off her student loans!) and she even has a great “credit score”.

But when she applied for a mortgage loan, she was turned down for having “light credit”. Seriously, how f*cked up is that? I mean even when you do things right you are turned down. The reason is, I think, is that the loan institutions make more money selling off bad mortgages to banks.

Bonnie says she remember when she took out a mortgage when she had good credit. She was approved instantly. Man, how times have changed.

I recently watched the documentary “Inside Job” about the banking crash of 2008. It’s maddening to see how these people got away with collapsing our economy and the taxpayer has to suffer while bank CEO’s got huge bonuses. Not only that, this culture of greed and bonuses is being taught to the next generation of financial students at places like Harvard, Columbia and Stanford. I recommend you check this doc out.

2:[ Signing into a job-seeking website, instead of the grad program pop-up that usually appears, I get an ad for selling AVON Products. What is my Monster Account trying to tell me?

Anyone?

After the whole horoscope thing, I am beginning to believe that the Internets think I am a woman! I just don’t think I am patient enough or smart enough to be a woman. Honestly…

3:[ Am loving the new REM single “Oh My Heart”. It has been awhile since I took a listen to what the boys from Athens, Georgia have been up to. I tuned out after “Monster” thinking they peaked with “Automatic for the People”. Then, “Monster” hit after, this was when U2 changed their sound with “Achtung Baby!” and almost every band went through a sound change, including Def Leppard, who put out a greatly underrated album “Slang”. After that, R.E.M. shifted back to the pop music jangle of “Out of Time” and seemed to replicated that over and over that I couldn’t get into their catalog again.

Then, the other day, cruising the internet I stumble upon “Oh My Heart” and thought it was great. So I thought it was about time to give them another listen. I was blown away. I am saving up to buy their album because the clips I’ve heard on the album seems to sound good. So, I’ll try them once again. With Robbie Robertson and REM putting out new albums, all I need are new ones by the BoDeans and U2 and I’ll be back in high school again, sonically….

4:[ I’m ahead of my time, as always: I gave my nice, warm Carhartt coat to Bonnie to weather the Chicago winters some time ago and she has not gone a single winter without someone complimenting her on her coat. CArharrt is a great coat maker. They help the citizens of the Western Mountain regions to weather the crazy extremes we have out there. To me they always symbolized the rugged western culture that I grew up in. So now, it seems that Carhartt is going to open a “Boutique” in Wicker Park to sell to the Hipster Geek crowd.

So, when you zip up a nice warm Carhartt coat, thinking you’re on the hipster-geek-grunge tip, silently give me thanks for introducing your newfound cool to the masses…

5:[ I overheard my Bonnie talking on the phone when a thought hit me:

When a customer service person DOES NOT tell you what you want to hear, would you still tell them “You’ve been very helpful”?

6:[ This one time, while I was at the store I came out of an aisle and this cute gal cuts me off. It was one of those situations when there was little room to move, because of the item displays and lines of people at the registers. So, I motion for her to go first, then she waves me off, I nod and take a step. She cuts me off again.

I smile and gesture for her to go first, again. This time adding, “Please.” To which she says, “No, go ahead.”

We stand there being polite for a second without moving, so I take another step. She cuts me off again. I stop and gesture for her. She refuses. This time I say, “Okay, I’m going…” I step. She cuts me off, again!

This time she has the f^cking gall to say “Seriously?!” Like I’m screwing around with her. Yeah, three hours of waiting for a woman to cut me off so I can screw with her head finally paid off! So, I just say, “Well, I’m going.” Again. I walk on without looking back. Man, why was she such a jerk?

Still, she danced better than my last date. (ZING! No wait, that sucked…)

7:[ And now Wisdom of the Sages presents:

“An Ever-growing List of Things That MUST Stop!”

+ People please, clean out the lint traps after you’re done with the dryer…

+ Bitching about comic book based movies… Come on guys, they are seriously not making the movies for you. You really think you have that much sway over the movie industry?

+ Bedhead as a fashionable hairstyle: Seriously, I don’t care how cute you are with your rose petal lips and big, sleepy blue eyes, standing in line at the 7-11 with your cup of coffee and college backpack… standing there looking all pretty with your shaggy hair-wait, what was I saying?

+ The NOOK Sales guy at the B&N needs to stop taking time out of his day pushing overpriced technology at us to browse the paper magazines….

+ Charlie Sheen and this general approval of the Mediocre….

+ Remakes of Crappy movies… yeah, I said that. And about that movie, too.

8:[ People do not know how much of the world is sold to us on a daily, subtle basis. I was thinking about the Gangster Rap Culture and how it has been pretty much sanitized, wrapped up in glossy packaging and sold to us. There was a time when dressing like a thug meant something dangerous. Now, Ice Cube is directing Disney movies. The same thing is happening with the Selling of Geek Culture.

You see the Hipster versions with the black, plastic frame glasses and plaid shirts and secondhand-looking clothing running around everywhere. Everyone is wearing look-smart glasses now with stocking caps in the summer time and long neck scarves. The appearance of looking smart is more important than having intelligence now days it seems. And we buy it up. Just another trend we've all bought into. Sorry, we really aren't smarter than that.

You know why gas prices and food prices and Internet prices and phone rates keep going up despite public outcry? Simple: We will pay for it. No matter what….

9:[ From the “This Just In” Department: So now we have the first enrolled Native American woman to be drafted into the WNBA. Yep. Tahnee Robinson, from my home rez, the Wind River Reservation, was drafted by the Phoenix Mercury out of the University of Nevada after leading them to a few stellar years. Pretty cool. Looking forward to keeping up with her career and maybe seeing her when she plays the Chicago Sky. Yeah, I’m sure there will be a few grumblers out there. But I still think this is cool.

10:[ Last Item of the Month: Sorry to announce this folks, but the Hipster Era is ended. Driving in the city with My Bonnie I saw what appeared to be a Hipster Parent.

Yep. Once the parents join in, it’s not cool any more.

This was a mom wearing one of those sh*tty pinched, plaid golf caps, with those black, stupid square-shouldered jackets with skinny sleeves, button epaulets, the millions of pockets and the faux-wool lined collar. Packing her grade school aged kids into her Honda Hybrid in her skinny pants, big shoes and fingerless gloves just signaled the end for me.

The Hipster Era may not have died instantly, but the countdown has begun!

That will do it for this month.

The latest edition of “Wisdom of the Sages Video” should be coming out for you very soon. I know you’ve been wondering all about it. Here is the YouTube playlist in case any of you missed it. Otherwise, I do hope the world has been treating you well. Feel free to comment on anything I’ve writ, because if we cannot have a discourse on any topic then we cannot begin to work out the wrongs of the world.

Also, please be aware that my next major review “Reading Alone for Thousands of Hours: My Review of Three Kingdoms” will be posted very soon. I had to do a bit of research before I gave my opinions on what has become my most favorite book of all time. Keep a look out for it on “The Redshade Report.”

Until Next Time, “I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control everything really are.”

March - Spring 2011

2011-03-15T20:53:00.007-05:00

Wisdom of the Sages

Episode III

March – Spring 2011

Hello People of the World;

Looks like winter is hanging in there. Digging its icy claws in deep despite the sunshine and the melting snows. A lot going on in the world but I don’t need to tell you that, with uprisings in Libya and other places Middle East; as well as, Middle West, with Teachers Unions whom fought to maintain in Wisconsin.

Turns out, in both cases the dictator had his way. One had no compunction about trampling the rights of and inflicting harm upon his citizens to prove his grip of power was ironclad and the other is the dictator of Libya. Quick, what are the Bears up to?

On a completely differing note, have you ever noticed how happy the tiniest of booboos are just out in the world? I was walking back to the office and caught sight of this tiny little princess, possibly had just learned to walk and out with grandma and walking and just smiling up a front-tooth only smile that would make angels jealous. Then in the Dunkin’ Donuts I caught the attention of another little princess out with mom and once she had my attention she was all smiles and wiggles. Sweetie. Then I saw a little guy out and about and just saw the pure joy in his face just being out and man, they love life and the world without prejudice.

All of this on just that one walk back to the office. Man, I just hope we don’t fuck it all up for them….

Let’s get started, shall we?

1:[ First item of the month: Looks like my bid for the Mayoral seat of our fair city was a complete bust. I guess you won’t be seeing me taking pictures with various groups, or avoiding answering questions about all the political deals I’ve made. You do not have years of dragging bureaucracy increases in every department, delays in city services nor the parking meter situation getting worse to look forward to during what would have been my tenure. Sorry.

Well, I will admit that I was not Mayoral Material as I was handicapped from the start. You see? I have a need to make sense.

2:[ Oscar Wrap Up: All in all, a pretty boring show this year. Someone forgot to let James Fraco know that he was supposed to host the Oscars. Still, I did love his “I’m just here to host” attitude that he had. No big surprises in the major wins. “Inception” fared better than I had expected. “The Social Network” was robbed I believe. And I didn’t really think it was the Best Picture.

I was sorry Melissa Leo won over Hailee Steinfeld, because Steinfeld carried the dead weight of Jeff Bridges and Josh Brolin on her back in that “True Grit” movie. And those two were the most important characters in the movie!

Michael Douglas was looking pretty good these days-what? Huh? Oh. Kirk Douglas was a riot during his presentation.

For some reason the opening had me thinking I was watching the MTV Movie Awards… Char thought the whole Inception-Dream thing was funny and wanted to see “Inception” which promptly confused her. Sweetie.

All in all, typically boring show.

3:[ I got a haircut today. It was a pretty okay haircut. But, the “stylist” seemed more concerned about her hair. She would trim a little off mine, turn my head, and then say “It’s even, right.” A statement, not a question. “It looks good, right.” Again, a statement.

Every time I look up into the mirror, she would be looking at herself. Really. So, that accounts for my ordinary haircut of late. Still, danged weird.

4:[ One of the Great Social Levelers: No matter where you come from in Chicago, whenever a train pulls into the final station and stops and everyone gets up to get off, but then, the train lurches forward again to pull completely into the station, everyone is lurched to and fro.

Just then, every one gets this really mad look on their faces at the same time. Then they all look toward the front of the train like the driver can see them being mad about being lurched. As if the CTA had betrayed them about when to get out of their seats and now they’ve been kind of embarrassed by being lurched. As if getting mad about it is going to do anything.

5:[ Overheard in the Coffee Shop/El Train: A continuing series:

On the traint, some teeny boppy college girl used the term “Bucket List” in the context of her friends and her going out to party or something that weekend. “Yeah, we made like a bucket list of all the things we’re gonna do and stuff.” From my understanding, the term stems from a list of thing you want to do before you “kick the bucket” or die, to put it another way. Plus, the term was coined fairly recently from what I gather, so the warranty that keeps it from becoming a dumb person’s word is pretty short…

I was sitting in the Starbucks when this older, stocky Eastern European guy sat down with a cell phone attached to his ear and he was very much talking like a teenager with all the “like, like, likes” in place. It was weird to hear this obviously Old World Pol speak like that. I believe he said, “and, blah, blah, blah” as well…

So one of these cool hipster baristas said to the other, “Oh, I went and saw ‘Hall Pass’ this weekend…” There are no more film lovers.

6:[ Have you ever noticed how we instantly attribute the aspects of bad news to the bearer of the message, sort of like killing the messenger but imposing the bad traits of the situation onto the person simply delivering the information?

For example, I have a crush on one of the tellers of the bank in the grocery store I shop regularly. She’s a pretty dark-haired lady I figured to be Latina or possibly Native. I’d walk by and from time to time and sometimes get a smile from her. So, the other day I needed to get a cashier’s check and who should assist me but my crush. She turns out to be Middle Eastern, and she has a crazy cute accent.

Anyways, it also turns out that my bank, which was bought up by another bank in the bank crashes of 2007 and now they are discontinuing all the free services my former bank offered because, why not, they have my money hostage now. I will now be charged a minimum balance fee, which was imposed, and all the free cashier’s checks and money orders will cost, to which she asked if the amount charged was okay. To which I could only reply “Yeah, I don’t really have a choice do I?”

And while we waited for the check to print she goes over the services-offered checklist all the tellers and bankers go over whenever I’m forced to go to one of the desks. “Credit card with some unheard of rate? “Second checking account? “You know you can pay bills online?” and so on and so forth. Suddenly, she was just a member of the corporation doing her job and I was just simply her customer. Suddenly, she represented all the bad things the bank represented in my mind. My crush faded a bit at being treated like one of the faceless masses.

Crummy, I know. But I’ve seen other people get mad about something the cashier or the clerk cannot help and they place all the blame on the minimum-wager doing the best they can. Funny, how we do that….

7:[ And now Wisdom of the Sages presents:

“An Ever-growing List of Things That MUST Stop!”

+ People walking into the streets; I know that pedestrians have the Right of Way at the crosswalks but come on, walking out into the street like you just don’t care gets tiresome. I’ll bet you’ll get all angry and litigious when you finally get your ass blasted by a car.

+ Honking… like that really helps. Honking as you fly past a slow driver or left-turner or a pedestrian with the Right of Way does NOTHING. It only publicizes your impotence….

+ Using words that do not pertain to you or of which you do not know the meaning… (SEE: “Bucket List” above) Recently, I had to tell Charlotte that she was using the word “ironically” incorrectly. She thought it meant “sadly”. Looking at how the word is used, and mostly thanks to Alanis Morrisette, I could see how one could derive that definition…

+ Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace being released in 3D… Please, Lucas, give us something new man. Seriously.

+ Hey, once you step out of line to grab one more thing, you are OUT OF THE LINE! Don’t think you can just jump right back in where you were because you left your brownies and chips on the counter there…

+ Why is it whenever I get on a beer-or-B-O stinky train, from some bum that slept there the night before, that everyone who gets on after immediately shoots me a dirty look like I’m the stinky and drunk one? I could be in my Sunday Best and I’ll still get the looks…. What ever that is, that needs to stop.

8:[ Have you ever seen those hipsters on the trains or busses that try to dress like rodeo clowns that frequent the Salvation Army Stores? But once you see them up close realize that all of their dingy coats and ratty cargos and heavy boots are really clean and pressed and they all have labels on them? Suddenly, they pull out the super fancy, techno-phone gadget of the moment and start poking at it, plugging in their ear buds to hear whatever whiny, ambient BS music they listen to these days…

Phonies. All of them.

Geez, I’m old….

9:[ From the “This Just In” Department: The State of Wyoming lives up to its “The Equality State” moniker by blocking passage, overwhelmingly in a Republican-controlled house, of a bill that would have not recognized same-sex marriages or civil unions obtained legally in other states.

But it still suffers from smog worse than LA due to the constant gas refinement going on there.

10:[ Last Item of the Month: Both a tsunami and a fricking earthquake hit Japan this morning. All I hear on the radio is how it fucking affects us. The west cost will get some major swells and Pearl Harbor already reported 30-foot waves but nothing a few hours warning didn’t take care of. But the Japanese lost thousands of people in a quick amount of time and all we can think about is how it affects us… wow.

I swear with the earthquake and tsunami and the following explosions at their nuclear energy plants, they could not be having a worse time of it. I hope we can get off our duffs and help out in some positive way.

That will do it for this month.

Isn’t it convenient that we have Charlie Sheen to distract us from the protests in Wisconsin and the stripping of collective bargaining rights for teachers? (Why teachers? Why do we hate teachers?) ”Nothing to see here. LOOK! CHARLIE SHEEN’S FLIPPING THE FvCK OUT!" Collectivist Enforcers = #winning!

Also, CLICK HERE for the latest Episode of Wisdom of the Sages Video! A short montage on my hands. Upcoming videos include NATIVE PRIDE, a video about Natives reading books in movies, maybe a Top Ten list or two. How about a video on my collections, such as my Batman figures, DVD’s or the like? You can let me know what to make a video on as well. Maybe a movie or book review? The possibilities are up to you and what I can justify as non-embarassing….

Until Next Time, “I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control everything really are.”

February - Winter 2011

2011-02-14T23:27:00.007-06:00

Wisdom of the Sages

Episode II

February – Winter 2011

Hello People of the World;

We’ve made it to month number two! How many of your New Years resolutions are already broken? Here we are a month in and everything seems to have shaken out and it is back to business as usual. See? New Years Days are nothing to fear.

Let’s get started, shall we?

1:[ First Item of the Month: I think that it’s time to shake things up a bit. For some time I feel that WoS has gone a bit stale. It was a feeling that I couldn’t shake. Then, I saw this today.

I started Wisdom of the Sages almost 10 years ago during the summer semester in the Academic Computing lab in the 623 S. Wabash Building of Columbia College. It was an email note, a rather long email note to the entirety of my address list at the time on a series of news items and book quotes and silly sayings and thoughts that interested me or caught my eye.

By no means did I think I was doing a public service because I only sent it to friends. The main reason I did so was because I was in that rut Lev speaks of in his video about my writing. I knew that the career arc I started then was writing-intensive, so to get into the habit of writing on a whim I decided to create a Friendship Newsletter filled with unimportant junk that interested only me. All newsletters are filled with self-important stuff. I wanted mine filled with self-important, un-important stuff. (See what I did there?)

So, I was off and running, sporadically sending out large emails to jam up my friends’ inboxes. I sent it out in part because I knew that this would be the only way I would keep in contact with my Wyoming friends, some of whom moved on beyond Wyoming. These were in the days before Facebook. I know, right? It is kind of hard to image. But the human population seems to have survived 30,000 years without it up to then.

Now, here we are, WoS having evolved from an email, to a rather clumsy webpage, into its current form as a weblog. I simply continue to write this because its fun to do. Everyone else out there has “IMPORTANT” blogs, mine is the respite before you get back on the grueling trail. I know I have some dedicated readers as they talk with me about it or reply in the comments.

Of late I have been trying to incite discussion. But people tend to be afraid to debate me. Or they are afraid to espouse an opinion for fear of committing to a stance or ideology. (I think so at least.) They usually save it for Facebook comment spaces. Oh well. For the most part, I keep writing WoS simply because I enjoy it.

Oh, I’ve ended it on more than one occasion. But it’s too fun to do and keeps me honest as a writer and I’ve found that I have an opinion on almost anything that I’d rather share however detached from human interaction. So, to keep out of the rut, I have given myself a deadline and a limited number of things to write about. But these have not yet hindered the writing of the ‘blog. In fact, I am sitting here writing this in one sitting.

I write this silly “‘blog” in addition to my work stuff, all the many, many, many writing projects, as well as, being in the middle of several projects including a large photography project and a large sketch project. Not to mention the ton of short videos I am working up and the TWO feature films I am desperately trying to get off the ground.

When it comes to my photos, or my movies or my sketches, I try not to care about what people will think about or how they will classify them. So, why should I do that for my writing? I guess that is the point of this little shpeal. I am going to write about what interested me in the first place. Being lazy and nonsensical.

2:[ Seriously, a fully-functional woman backs into a handicapped space and comes into the Starbucks. She had no handicap sticker or license plate or those thingees you hang from the rearview mirror. But, I guess since she put on her emergency flashers that makes it okay.

Her “BIG EMERGENCY”? A tall, soy latte. That’s it.

And it just happened again! This time another lady rolls huge car into the handicapped spot crookedly, leaves her kids in the running car just to pick up a cup of coffee. Sheesh! To make it worse she stops and talks to a couple of other ladies she knows who where there for half an hour while her kids sat in the car in the handicap space….

3:[ I think I will invent psychic, sentient traffic lights.

Psychic so they can feel how I’m needed right away!

Sentient so they can see me rolling forward, foot by foot, towards the intersection and they can see how impatient I am and how I’m needed right away and they can instantly change to green just for me!

4:[ I know why so many Native guys are mad about the popularity of the Twilight Saga’s “The Wolf Pack”. The ubiquitous group of Indian boys running around the rez turning into wolves in the Twilight Saga of movies.

It has nothing to do with representation of the “True Native American” man, misrepresentation of Native Americans in general, or the creation of new stereotypes. It has nothing to do with that at all.

It has everything to do with these four Native men are now the focal point of sexual adoration from white women. Yep, I said it.

5:[ Overheard in the Coffee Shop: A continuing series: People complaining about the plowing of snow after the “BIG BLIZZARD”.

“You know what they should do is start with the side streets first before doing the main roadways. That way… etc.” What you are really saying is that they should clear your street first. Look, they have clear the main roadways first to even get to the side streets.

Even when they go above and beyond people still have the gall to complain. I sat there watching city bulldozers scoop up the huge mountains of snow on street corners and drop it into a dump trunk. Still, the barista and a customer were still complaining at how they took their time getting to it and how it blocked traffic. Sheesh.

6:[ So, on a recent visit to my baby girl, I wore an older pair of jeans that I had not worn in some time. The reason being I was waiting to patch the hole in the legs. But hey, they were clean so I wore them on this visit.

My Char and I are sitting there in front of the TV blasting Lego storm troopers and collecting chips on our way to “True Jedi” status when, as the game tallies our score, she points to the hole in my pants knee and asks, “Are these new pants?”

Which reminded me once again that we are a society that buys $250 “distressed” jeans. Meaning, they are pre-worn with faded material and holes. Man, the rez we got those for $10 at Kmart, but had to wear them a whole school year before they looked like that. I still sew and patch my jeans. But it was a funny-cute observation by My Char.

7:[ And now Wisdom of the Sages presents:

“An Ever-growing List of Things That MUST Stop!”

+ Stupid people are still walking into traffic. Come on, your sh*t’s not THAT important!

+ The idea that a “blizzard” lets people park in spots that are NOT parking spaces. Just because you cannot see the ground for all the snow and ice doesn’t mean you can park on the sidewalk, or double park or block a frickin’ crosswalk with your stupidly parked car.

+ People’s annoying habit of really starting a anecdote in detail then, just so they can get to the point of which they can complain about, veer off into “blah, blah, blah.” And I mean they actually say “blah, blah, blah” to get past any kind of “boring” details. I imagine they leave out the unflattering details or the details that garner sympathy for the object of their complaints.

+ Speaking of walking in post-“blizzard” conditions: Now that the temperature is up, can we please start walking on the sidewalks again? Come on, it’s only mud. Walking against traffic in the street is going to lead to something stupid…

+ Reality Television. There, I said it. Whew. That felt good…

8:[ I officially hate Pop Music now. I just heard one of those same-sounding teenybopper singers wail, “Why so serious?” in their stupidy-stinky song. Really? Quoting the Joker from “The Dark Knight” to earn some form of credibility? Get real.

Well, maybe she wasn’t directly referencing the Joker in “The Dark Knight” but I get tired of the geeky stuff making the mainstream, I guess. Still, the song sounds like every other song that is out there…. And that doesn’t do well for Pop Music.

9:[ From the “This Just In” Department: Looks like the Egyptian People’s demonstrations have led to the resignation of their president. Many of the news channels I see state that this could destabilize the entire Middle East. Wait, isn’t the country mostly on the African continent? I understand a peninsula bridges to Israel and Palestine. Weird. I even saw one News Channel (That shall remain unnamed) place it on the map between Iraq and Iran. Wow. Are we that stupid?

I don’t know, nor will I hazard any guesses for what this means to Egypt or for the region. But, we’re not winning any gold stars for geography here…. (Nor for spelling either...)

10:[ Last Item of the Month: So, the BIG SNOWSTORM OF THE CENTURY just hit Chicago town. Guess what? All it left was a bunch of snow on the ground! Sheesh, get over it people. It snows in the winter and living through it is what we are SUPPOSED to do. It snowed for less that 24 hours and it’s the STOM OF THE CENTURY. I used to live in the highlands of the rez, right below the Rocky Mountains and I remember it snowing for a week at times. The big, heavy stuff, too. I remember when the power was out for a couple of weeks and we had to sleep around our fireplace.

This past month wasn’t so bad. I though that is what a “Chicago Winter” is supposed to be like, to hear people talk about it. It’s winter. Why do we act so surprised when it snows during the winter?

That will do it for this month.

There is nothing like an over-hyped football game to make you forget a crazy man with a gun killed a judge and a child and wounded a congresswoman in Arizona. But by all means, cash in your bets. Which begs the question: If the Packers had lost to the Steelers, would that have meant that the Bears would have won the Super Bowl?

Anyways. Just thought I’d also announce a tiny project that I’ve been threatening for a while now. Wisdom of the Sages Video is now up on my YT Channel, which you can see here. Let me know what you think. Let me know what topics I should cover. This will be different from the newsletter, wherein you will have some say in the topics. I’m not asking for thumbs-ups or for subscriptions. Please, don’t do that. You can rate and comment if you please. But I do ask you let me know what you think of this new format for WotS”.

Until Next Time, “I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control everything really are.”

January - Winter 2011

2011-01-15T19:34:00.007-06:00

Wisdom of the Sages

Episode I

January – Winter 2011

Hello People of the World;

So, here we are with yet another year past and yet nothing really to show for it. Does that mean existence is nothing but the slow march of time with every choice a consequence meaning nothing? Or is it a void that is only filled by our meaningless activities of daily living that comes to nothing in the end as we realized our mortality means nothing in the stream of time that appears perpetual?

Or maybe I just need a watch.

Here is another new year, another chance to make the same mistakes. Or better your environs. I hope this New Year finds you ahead of the game of life instead of bitching about how life is unfair. Please, leave that to me…

Let’s get started, shall we?

1:[ First Item of the Month: “The Happening” is happening!

Does this mean that me standing around, eyes flitting bewilderingly with a goofy, dumb guy look on my face will actually come in handy now?

In other science news (A’ cause I’m smart like that):

NASA plans to probe Uranus. Seriously!

Lightning produces Antimatter! I want a flying superpower out of this! I'm standing under a tree wearing a hubcap during the next lightning storm.

34,000-Year-Old organisms found still alive!! And it's not who you think it is!!

2:[ Here for your consideration is my annual “Best of 2010 Stuff” lists that I do every year. That way you don’t have to talk to me at all about this stuff. It beats getting to know me, right?

3:[ My alarm clock of late, has been acting wonky. Lately, I’ve been waking up late because my clock radio has not been going off. First time it happened I simply turned down the volume when I vacuumed the place: simple, dumb, single guy mistake. But this last time I remember waking up to Billy Idol’s “Sweet Sixteen” a song I hasn’t heard in centuries, man.

In between static-y squawks, Billy’s dulcet tones crooned for a rocking chair. Usually, I have my radio alarm tuned to the “fine” music station so it plays classical music when I wake up. (I remember one time I woke up to “The Imperial March” and a show dedicated to John Williams.) The reason I started this is a long story. But the reason I continue it are twofold.

1) The Snooze Button-Beeper vs. Radio: When I set the alarm for the beeper and I hit the Snooze Button, it turns on again in about 10 minutes, standard. But one day I felt like really sleeping in and kept hitting it. It turns out that it goes off again in increasingly shorter spans, 9 minutes, 8 minutes, 7, until it simply does not shut off. I don’t know if all alarm clocks work this way, but mine does.

When I have it tuned to the radio, the Snooze Button has a 9-minute span. Why 9? Because it’s almost 10, I guess. But this accounts for my weird wake up time settings. I factor in a 9-minute snooze into my alarm….

2) The classical music station always reminds me of my first ever visit to Chicago. I stay with my brother Joey and he had this one all day. So, incense, cigar boxes and WFMT always remind me of my bro and my first time in Chicago.

I love that clock, it was a gift bought by my mom.

4:[ I was told one time when I arrived for work, “You’ll never guess who’s here!”

To which I answered, “So, there’s no point in guessing then.”

And I went right in to work….

5:[ Overheard in the Coffee Shop: A continuing series:

I am a pretty good listener. I hear things. I pay attention. Some things you cannot help but overhear, especially in a coffee shop. There are just people in the world that seem to be intent on making sure everyone in the place knows they are talking about something “intelligent”. So, they talk about stuff as loudly as politely possible.

So I happened to catch a table nearby a College Professor and possibly one of his students at the Barnes & Noble. The student could well have been his daughter as they did look alike but they talked mainly about papers he’s graded and how he’s helped young ladies into publishing. He talked ad nausea about all the things he’s done and the student would throw in a comment here and there but mostly they guy wouldn’t shut up. Then, he asks about her projects and while she talks about movies and theater stuff he never listens to her. She gets the “uh-huh’s” and “oh yeah’s” but he never looked at her. Not once. Weird.

While in another coffee shop I noticed how much the baristas were complaining about how a customer was very specific and adamant about his order. It was as if they kept complaining about it to each other it would somehow change the past and the overbearing customer would suddenly vanish so they would not have to had to deal with him… Sheesh.

6:[ Okay, I see that I have a horoscope function on my My Yahoo page. After looking at it off and on for at least 7 years I finally figured out that my horoscope thinks I’m a woman after it suggest I buy that outrageous black mini dress as part of my New Year’s Makeover/Resolution Dealie-yo.

Funny, I never took myself for a black mini dress sort.

But I bought one anyway….

7:[ And now Wisdom of the Sages presents:

“An Ever-growing List of Things That MUST Stop!”

+ People walking out into the streets into traffic! If you are dumb enough to walk out into on-coming traffic in the middle of the block, don’t complain when you finally get tapped, okay? And don’t walk across all cool and slow like the cars are magically going to stop or slow over your attitude about getting hit by on-coming traffic…

+ Zombies, again… really, dudes, can we come up with something else?

+ Cartoony catch phrasing masked as Oscar-baiting performances… ‘Nuff said.

+ Star Wars DVD releases. As much of a fan I am of these movies, there needs to be only one definitive version that comes out, ONCE…

+ People that bitch and moan about something they cannot change… Really, talking and complaining about something we cannot change as if that will magically make everything okay again. We need to grow up and get over it so we can deal with the situation as it is now. We cannot work going backwards people. Come on! Now, forget about that spill and get me my damn coffee!

8:[ I don’t know if I told y’all this before, but I’ve taken to drinking my milk from a bowl. You know like after you eat your cereal? Not like a cat. I dunno. I’ve known that some folk drink their coffee from a saucer. But for some reason I enjoy drinking my milk from a cereal bowl. It makes dunking Oreos and fig bars much easier. Of late, I have wanted to drink more milk. I love milk. I still drink it but for some reason I’d only buy it and drink it with cereal. One day without thinking I poured a bowl and drank out of it instead of grabbing a cup. Still do. I guess I’m just goofy like that…

9:[ From the “This Just In” Department: I guess the Zodiac has shifted due to earth’s wobbling, meaning the dates for every sign has changed. You may not be the sign you thought you were all these years. So, if you had a cool sounding sign and you get all crybaby ‘cause now you have to change it… (I am no longer a Sagittarius, but now I’m an Ophiuchus, weird.) just do what I do, say “F*ck it. It’s only the zodiac.” I mean, come on people, as if the zodiac could predict anything…

10:[ Last Item of the Month: Right now I am getting over a cold as I type and post this. This is maybe the third time I’ve been sick this winter season. I have noticed that I am getting sick more often. In the previous 10 years or so I’d get sick maybe once a winter season. Now, I’ve been sick at least three times. I guess I’m just getting older. I can deal with that fact I suppose. It’s time to putting the teddy bear and video games away, huh?

That will do it for this month. So far this year hasn’t been that tough. (Seems I spoke too soon with the craziness and finger pointing over the events in Arizona) I guess now it seems like business as usual. Don’t let all that get you down folk.

This month I’ll ask for readers to find an item they agree with and comment on how you agree with them. Because I ask the reader to disagree or disprove or be contrary to my opinion but it seems that the readers either don’t disagree with me, or they are to afraid to put their opinion in words. I am only trying to incite discussion people. Besides, I am not that smart enough to begin with.

Until Next Time, “I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control everything really are.”

December - Winter 2010

2010-12-15T20:37:00.006-06:00

Wisdom of the Sages

Episode XII

December – Winter 2010

Hello People of the World;

Now, this is what I thought a Typical Chicago Winter should be like. You know? To hear Chicagoans tell it. Now it’s cold and snowy and I have to bundle up to go out. I honestly thought this is what a MILD Chicago winter is supposed to be like. In all my years here I’ve heard the sagas of winters passed and how the City of Chicago is lucky to not have had to gnaw on neighbors for sustenance. Oh well. Maybe next year, huh?

So, NATIVE PRIDE made its return on December 5 of this month. It was an odd experience wearing other hats during “Native American Heritage Month”. Most felt that a cowboy hat was a great look for me. But, I’m not a cowboy. But I find it kind of funny that people think I look better when I am not expressing pride in my Native-ness. Weird. I guess NATIVE PRIDE keeps me from getting dates.

Now, on to more important things. Let’s get started, shall we?

1:[ First Item of the Month: The FDA gets criticized for banning caffeinated alcoholic drinks! “AN infringement on consumer rights?” Man, are we a country of drunkards or what? What happens when you threaten the supply? Yep, we get angry, just like an addict!

There are more important rights getting trampled right now than to be a wide-awake drunk.

2:[ Seriously, dude, how many cell phones do you need? Just saw a guy in the Lawrence Starbucks, call on one cell and texting with another. Man.

3:[ Yeah! This dude was outside the bar, having a smoke in the cold, without a jacket. Real man needs to smoke. Real man needs to smoke outside without a coat. Real man’s getting soooooo laid ‘cause chicks dig that sh*t!

4:[ It looks like scientists have created and captured a specimen of “antimatter”! Scientists in Switzerland (Why always Switzerland?) seem to have created from a chemical reaction, a particle of “antimatter” and were able to hold it long enough to study. Cool! Are you thinking what I’m thinking?! Yes, WARP ENGINES!!! FINALLY!

In other science news: (‘Cause I’m smart that way)

NASA discovers alien life in California! (Don’t go for the obvious joke here. Don’t go for the obvious joke…) It seems a bacteria that lives on arsenic has been found in a lake in California. While out of the ordinary, many experts do NOT think it any type of form of “alien” life. Still, experts still think they have a grip on what they have expertise on. So, no surprises they would question it. Besides, it’s science. You’re supposed to ask questions.

Mayans are feeling the brunt of global warming. It turns out that every year their crop fields are overheating and turning out less and less growth. I know what you’re thinking: Wait, Mayans still exist? Oh, hell yeah they do!

5:[ Overheard in the Coffee Shop: A continuing series:

So I was sitting in the Starbucks, sans NATIVE PRIDE and I could not help but overhear this woman lambasting her sister over something she never made clear. But, it was all her sister’s fault and she was going to make some moves come Thanksgiving Dinner. “The Art of War,” she said.

Who talks about family dinners in terms of military tactics? Sheesh! It was bad enough but then she said, “She just doesn’t want to smoke the Peace Pipe. She doesn’t.”

Which, I am sure she is used to saying so casually because she probably grew up never having been taught better. Look, don’t get me wrong. I honestly feel that things like “Political Correctness” and “Affirmative Action” should not be needed, simply because we should, as a people be courteous enough to give each other some g*d-damned CONSIDERATIONS. Really. In a perfect world, it would be so. But this is not a perfect world and for some reason, it still sucks that people say crap like that.

So, the other day I was in the Borders, just passing time after work when I overheard another insipid conversation. Again, please do not judge me as a nosey eavesdropper. No eaves were dropped in these situations. It is just because these people just talke so damn loud as if they want people to hear them. Plus, I am a great listener. I catch things that other people think I missed. Sometimes, I’ll chuckle to myself. Anyways, these two gals meet up at the coffe shop and it went a little something like this:

Gal 1: (describing what she’s doing there) “Yeah, I’m just trying to keep it down to short sentences. But, you know, making sound interesting enough for people to read. Also, to make sound like, cool, so people will… uh, …think it’s cool.”

(Yep, this person is a writer.)

Gal 2: “That is like, totally, story of my life right now, you know?”

Gal 1: “I know, right?”

At this point I try to get back to my sketching and coffee. But then I hear this:

Gal 2: “Would that be a good day to get together?”

Gal 1: LONG PAUSE “Theoretically, it would be a good day. But you just don’t now.”

People, please, never, EVER use the word “Theoretically” unless you are actually talking about something IN F*CKING THEORY!!! Not when you are planning to “get together”. Frickin’ people….

6:[ So, I had to go and renew my driver’s license today and was surprised at how quick and efficient the process is. I don’t get what many people grumble about. This was the downtown site as well and I was in and out in less than 30 minutes.

But what I also noticed is how kind and generous people are when they are waiting on the bureaucracy to roll along. They smile and joke and are courteous to one another regardless of race, status, gender or age, people are being nice and civil to one another because they all have to wait for the lumbering process to engage with them. Wow, Red Tape Unity!

I swear, when I rule the world I will promote a harmonious world peace by making my rule as bureaucratic as possible! That plus lobotomies and mind-control chips.

7:[ And now Wisdom of the Sages presents:

“An Ever-growing List of Things That MUST Stop!”

+ From Bonnie: “LOL’s. Come on, are you really Laughing Out Loud?”

+ Speaking of “Netiquette”, another one that should go the way of the Dodo: “The Fam”. Geez, you must not love your family all that much if you cannot take the time to simply spell the frickin’ word. “Yeah, we’re related, but you’re wasting my precious time, G. Fo’ reelz, LOLS”

+ From reader Ellen “The internally-lit, scrolling ads at the bus stops. It’s tacky and makes it look like New York.” Couldn’t think of a worse insult for a Chicagoan than to be compared to New York…

+ People who freaking sit down, taking up space in the coffee shop THEN go to order! Worse are those that DON’T order a damn thing and just sit there.

8:[ I hate to say this but black plastic framed glasses have to stop too. Sorry ladies, you don’t look like Tina Fey and you don’t really look any smarter. I hate to say it because I have a massive crush on Tina Fey and I love smart women. (Hell, I was married to one.) But, you look like a trend-follower. Guys, too. It doesn’t look hipster cool, like you don’t care what your glasses look like, because black, plastic framed glasses make it obvious that you do care what you look like…. Come on.

9:[ Kanye’s New Rant: Reveals himself to be the smartest man in show business

1) He is keeping himself in the news and “relevant”, because it doesn’t seem to take much to do that these days.

2) He is exposing our class hypocrisy where the poor will always come to the defense of our rich celebrities. Swift is a multimillionaire folks. SHE’LL BE FINE! We can quit coming to her defense from our Internets we can barely afford while she wipes her tears with her millions of dollars.

3 & 4) He is exposing our racist and sexist tendencies, when we come to the defense of a “weaker” white woman. This is the 21^st century. She can fend for herself. Come on, what if Kanye was a white guy? He wouldn’t be railed against. He’d be Bill O’Reilly.

5) And then, the most subtlest and smartest. He is reminding Swift, and indeed, we the public that her current success owes a LOT to his VMA interruption.

So, let’s get over this one, okay?

10:[ Last Item of the Month: You know, sometimes walking in the streets, I play out these conversations in my head with people I’ve known and met and at other times I ponder the intangibles in an otherwise very real universe and I come up with the most amazing works of fantasy when dealing with the former and some inspired conclusions when playing out the latter. And I keep it all running through my mind and think that it would be great to write it down and share with you Dear Reader on this lonesome ‘blog of mine.

But then, I keep forgetting what it is that I came up with to begin with. Like today, I started out thinking about how I traded the warmth of my usual shoes for the Van’s I wore today. The other shoes are cheap and the sole on one is ripped and walking in the rain last night, my sock soaked through but on a day like today, they would be warm. But the Van kept my feet dry and offered some grip on the icy streets but my feet were ice blocks when I got home.

And this line of thought led to wanting to make a comment on new shoes on Facebook and it reminded me of all the silly things we try to write on there and how it seems a very disingenuous persona we put up there in light of who we really are, because we never really put our true selves up in the comment boxes of Facebook. You know? We put up these fake stand-ins that are supposed to represent the Cool Us.

You see? I am not funny and I’m not smart but a comment on the state of my cheap shoes would reveal my economic status and how that would be detrimental to me getting a date. I always say that George Clooney and I have the same problem. And speaking of problems: Never play out your personal dramas in the comment sections of Facebook, all right? Everyone can see it. Seriously.

Which leads me to another thing I noticed: Internet forum conversations. It seems the new grounds of debate has changed since you can now anonymously spout hate and racism without fear of getting smacked right in the jaw. Which is sad, because reading the debates, both sides of the argument have great ideas for solutions, but, the impersonal ideology of taking a right or left position often prevents the human race from finding those solutions. And one more thing, you know you’re getting old when you start out talking about one thing and end up talking about something else entirely. Or, forgetting that you said the exact same thing last month- oh, wait…. Where was I?

That will do it for this month.

I was going to go off on No-bama’s Socialist Agenda and his addition of Sitting Bull to his children’s book, but I am just so terrible at political commentary. So, forgive me this one. Try to stay warm out there folks. It’s a doozy! When was the last time you heard that one? Anyways, feel free to comment, contradict, critique or write anything about any item here on WoS. It’s all up for grabs. Discussion is good, it keeps the spine straight. Okay?

Until Next Time, “I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control everything really are.”

November - Autumn 2010

2010-11-15T23:35:00.009-06:00

Wisdom of the Sages

Episode XI

November – Autumn 2010

Hello People of the World;

November is upon us. The chill sets in and wood smoke and winter coats appear. This whole month is dedicated to my “Heritage” which is strange because I am Northern Arapaho all of my life. Weird.

This month’s edition is a bit longer but a bit lighter. Oh, you’ll see.

Let’s get started, shall we?

1:[ First Item of the Month: By the time you read this, the mid-term elections should be over. Republicans are cheering a “Rout” while the Democrats agree. I see nothing changing to be honest. In the end, people forget that we keep on electing politicians to office…

2:[ Overhearing yet another conversation on the el train: So, the other day I was catching the Purple Line from the Loop home when two Stock Traders get on at Washington and Welles and proceed to sit across the aisle from each other and have one of those loud conversations that are geared toward dropping knowledge on their jobs just to show off to everyone else on the train whom just want to get home.

There they were complaining about points dropping. One even complained about the government making the banks buy back the bad-faith mortgages and that explains why Bank of America wasn’t trading higher. So, now, his commission would not be that high because of it. Wow. Thomas Wolfe had it right, I guess.

3:[ At long last, people have a legitimate reason to hate Brett Favre! I defended his great quarterbacking skills, as the man is one of the best. But now, he may have destroyed his legacy with one, ill-advised crotch-shot. Sorry Brett, I’m sitting this one out…

4:[ Overheard on the El Train, pt. 2 – Talking about the elections: There I was again on the Red Line south, when two gals jump on and have another of those loud conversations that everyone can hear. I remember one of them saying that before the election she was thinking of changing her vote. The other wanted to stay with her choice. It was a passionate debate about the pros and cons of the candidates. Too bad it was about sorority elections. Yep. That’s the next generation there.

5:[ About a year ago I was railing against the idea of “Free WIFI” at multiple locations being detrimental to creative writing. Now, here I am in the Starbucks (Whom I praised for making you pay.) logging on to their “Free WIFI!”

6:[ I just saw a Fed Ex guy leave a couple of packages with a random person that was simply waiting to get into the office he was knocking at. Sheesh. That’s the problem with postal deliveries. Everyone is in such a hurry.

7:[ And now Wisdom of the Sages presents:

“An Ever-growing List of Things That MUST Stop!”

+ Praising and awarding mediocrity, such as recognizing someone for misspeaking a word as “Making it up” because they are too stupid to know better. When a functional illiterate is celebrated….

+ Dramas in Facebook commentary. Really. C’mon guys…

+ Posting links and articles on the latest atrocities overseas on your MySpace or Facebook all while having a picture of yourself partying it up as your default image. Grow up.

8:[ Turns out, there is a ton of stuff the pilot of your flight is not telling you. Some of it makes quite a bit of sense though. The sad thing is that pilots are unable to form unions for better hours and wages so a lot of them take second and third jobs. So, the next time you fly, you’d better pray your pilots got enough sleep.

9:[ Overheard in the coffee shop: Two Barista Dudes

First barista dude: “Yeah, I’m of two minds on Jim Morrison. He was a genius rock’n’roller and then he was pretentious. He was totally both.”

Other barista dude: “Yeah, totally both.”

That, Kids, is called “Taking the P*SSIFIED ROUTE OUT and hedging your bets to protect your fragile intellectual ego in case the cute gal helping out today has a contrary opinion.

F*ckin’ MAN UP and form a damn opinion, jackass!

10:[ Rats versus Squirrels: Today I happened to be walking down the street when a great-big-ass rat ran across the street. And for reals; it looked just like a squirrel! So, the difference between a rat and a squirrel is simply a fluffy tail. That one trait makes it either loved or despised. Geez, we are such a shallow society. Don’t you all know that BOTH can give us rabies?

11:[ In a demonstration of how desperate things have become in our southern neighbor, a 20-year-old Law Student becomes Police Chief in Mexico town. I love how the comments just immediately wish her bad luck. But, hey, she is trying to clean up a Mexico town and I’m sitting on my butt typing a ‘blog.

12:[ From the “This Just In” file: Long time political prisoner Aung San Suu Kyi has been released from house arrest and looks to revive the democratic party to reform the Myanmar government. I hope she can do it.

Maybe now, U2 can give it a rest, you think?

13:[ Last Item of the Month: You know, I am really beginning to hate the term “Well, thanks anyway”. So, the person you asked tried their best to help but when they cannot tell you where the Macy’s is or if the next train is an express, you say “Well, thank anyway” as if to say “You fucking failed me but I’m still good enough to thank you, ANYWAY, I GUESS”.

Give me a break. If a person tells you they don’t know, they are being honest. A simple “Well, thanks” should suffice. Otherwise you are being an obnoxious ass and believe they don’t deserve a “thanks” for helping but you are so kind to give one, anyway.

Maybe I’m just getting old. I cannot stand today’s music and fashions but I also remember that my folks and folks their age couldn’t stand our music and fashions. See? Justin Beiber and tasseled stocking caps in the summer are just this generation’s “Lief Garret” and silk shirts…. Anyways. You know you're old when you begin talking about one thing and end up talking about another. Now, where was I?

That will do it for this month.

I have to admit that one of the very few things people can agree on is their love for dogs. I swear, when I lead this country to a new glorious dawning, I promise a puppy for every household. How are you going to pay for its care?

Taxes, of course, Sheesh. What are you, an illegal?

Feel free to comment, contradict, hate, love, take out of context or just plain agree with here. Open discussion beats sitting on your butt typing a ‘blog. Right?

Until Next Time, “I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control everything really are.”

October - Autumn 2010

2010-10-15T23:14:00.002-05:00

Wisdom of the Sages

Episode X

October – Autumn 2010

Hello People of the World;

The heavy, clouds pushed the hot air away filling the void with the chill which signals the coming of the season of falling leaves, wood smoke and longer nights. Yes folks, autumn is here. I love this weather, cloudy and chilly on the cusp of rain.

Let’s get started, shall we?

1:[ First Item of the Month: I just saw a guy walking down the street in Evanston, strumming a lute! You’ve got to be f^cking kidding me! I had to stop just so I could use my whole body to HATE this guy’s pretentiousness.

But then again, I don’t know if it was a mandolin. It was one of those triangular, wooden stringed instruments. Still, his grey, hounds tooth jacket, black shirt and skinny slacks (Yeah, not skinny jeans but SKINNY DRESS SLACKS!), his shiny and pointy, brown dress shoes and Kenny G hair just pissed me the F*CK OFF….

2:[ Warner Brothers finally sign Zack Snyder to the “Superman” director’s gig. Christopher Nolan of “The Dark Knight” fame is guiding this, yet-another reboot of the ailing Superman franchise. Since he revived the Batman franchise, his comic geek cred is good. Yet, the selection of Snyder is not without its controversy.

Look, I am not a fan of “300”, nor of “Watchmen” but after seeing his “Legend of the Guardians”, with its attached mythology and actual warranted use of slow motion, I feel he is competent for the job of reviving the franchise. Look, from a marketing standpoint Snyder is the obvious choice. He handles SFX well, has credibility with adapting comic book properties and is a recognizable name. Sure, Aaronofsky or Fincher may have been the aesthetically pleasing, rock-n-roll grunge tip, but for putting butts in the seats, Synder was the easiest choice.

Besides, we Geeks always fail to look at the marketing side of moviemaking and that is why we feel betrayed and cheated. Comic book movies are no longer for Geeks. It’s for the mass audiences that pay. Sorry Geeks. Truth. Look for my upcoming examination of the decline on genre films entitled “Geeks F^cking Ruin Everything”, coming soon to my essay ‘blog “The Redshade Report”.

3:[ I’m sorry ladies but I really don’t mean to interrupt your meaningful discussion but can I please have a medium coffee? You know, when you can the time? No problem, I can wait. No, go ahead. No, really. No, I’M sorry for interrupting. No, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. No, no, no, really, whenever you get the time. No, really. Thanks…

4:[ People asking for a “Dislike” button on Facebook. Isn’t that what comments are for? Just man up and take some responsibility for your dislikes by writing out your disagreement. Sheesh.

5:[ Hey, have you ever noticed that while you are unlocking your door to your house to get inside and you have the screen door pressing at your back, you suddenly feel like you have to hurry?

6:[ So, I happened to be on a plane to San Diego the other day and while I checked in and got a seat assignment well before the flight, when I got to my seat this lady was sitting in it and when I showed her by boarding pass, she sniffed and said, “Oh, so they booked it then.”

She begrudgingly scooted over and the other person in our aisle attempted small talk stating that I was lucky to get an aisle seat because I am so tall. I made a light joke in agreement. But the first lady then stated “Oh my husband was SUPPOSED to be sitting there but he missed our flight” as if it was my fault her husband was an idiot to miss the flight in the first place!

Then for the rest of the flight she never spoke to me but to the other lady sitting in our aisle loudly explaining HOW her husband missed the flight to begin with. Apparently instead of staying with him she chose to leave him behind. Wow. And then it was my fault I got the seat hours before they did. I should have at some point said to her in the middle of one of her rants, “Oh, I’m sorry, should I sit somewhere else? Maybe then your husband will show up.”

Sheesh, some people. Why do people feel like the world owes them something?

7:[ And now Wisdom of the Sages presents “An Ever-growing List of Things That MUST Stop!”:

+Steampunk. Really man. It has to end. Paint it copper and add some gears and it’s cool, right? Wrong.

+Seriously, adding Zombies to everything must stop! Bonnie agrees. It isn’t cute, or zany or hipster cool, it’s lazy. Parodying a classic novel by adding zombies simply means you are too intellectually lazy to come up with something original. Pretty soon we’ll have tons of novels featuring Native American vampires! That’s worse! Riding the coattails of a zeitgeist. Commerce trumps art every time. That’s why art is a scam.

8:[ Star Wars Lego 2: The Original Trilogy for PS2: A Short Review

My Boo was tired of playing “Dynasty Warriors 6” over and over whenever I happened to bring the PS2 around. Sure, I bought her other games we could play but she always wanted my to play with her and not simply watch her play. So, one day she took all her unused games for her DS and traded them for credit.

A couple of weeks ago she found the card she was given (She lost it a few weeks before) and proceeded to tell me that she specifically wanted to get another controller and a game we could both play. So, we made a special trip and picked up said controller and Star Wars Lego 2: The Original Trilogy. It was a game she mentioned more than once whenever we visited the game stop.

Once we got the stuff home, we play it whenever I’m there. I love the game. It follows the three movies but with everything styled as Lego blocks. We play it together, yell and scream at each other but it is simply fun to play with my Boo. It is an easy game to figure out and we have much fun blasting the environs and each other to bits. She recently unlocked The Emperor and has been having a blast blasting everything (including me) with lightning. I recommend it highly. It’s Boo-tastic!

9:[ From the “This Just In” file: The “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy was struck down by a federal judge. Finally, gays get to serve openly to protect all the rights we are denying them….

10:[ Last Item of the Month: I am the lowest common factor in any society. I have no TV (digital antennae are too expensive), I do not listen to the radio outside of WFMT because it is set on my clock radio (long story) and I barely check the Internet for news. So, when information finally trickles down to me I would gather that it might be important because it reached me here on the bottom rung.

Translation: If you do not register with me, I don’t care about you. To me you are not newsworthy. (See? Being better than everyone has its perks!)

I noted the on-going saga of the Chilean miner entrapment and rescue of late and did notice that not much was made about the politicalization of the situation. I did not hear about the politics of Chile in this whole thing. Maybe the media did cover it but it never reached me. I wonder why that is? I know next to nothing about the politics of the Chilean government but it was kind of nice to notice that the rescue of the miners was more important than the political impact to whatever party the situation may have had.

That will do it for this month.

I got in from the NIEA convention in San Diego. I must admit right now that it was not the same without Mi Trio. I wished that they had come along on this one. It’s been years since we been to San Diego. Still, I did learn a thing or two there; most notably, of how much my artistic ideology seems to isolate me.

Also, that little kids just rock. They simply rock. And palm trees.

Oh well. Feel free to comment, critique, counter or disprove any item on WoS. It doesn’t hurt to start a discussion. In fact, more people should discuss more things these days. But who am I to dictate all that, right? Only your future leader.

Until Next Time, “I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control everything really are.”

September - Autumn 2010

2010-09-15T20:26:00.005-05:00

Wisdom of the Sages

Episode IX

September – Autumn 2010

Hello People of the World;

It seems that the punch to the face I gave the Sun has paid off in cooler weather of late. See? You have to rap some folk on the beard to get some respect. Anyways, I hope you are enjoying the cool weather.

You’re welcome.

Let’s get started, shall we?

1:[ First Item of the Month: Chicago may have had the first woman police officer in the nation. Cool, ain’t it? Now, this is a Chicago “Thing” I could support. Not, Goat Curses or Stupid Hotdog Eating Ritual or Sports Teams. I could support that Chicago may have had the very first woman police officer. It seems more historically important and gives others a better view of the city than a championship ring, don’t you think?

2:[ I had recently reread “It’s Superman!” , Tom DeHaven’s reimagining of the Superman Mythos by Way of the Great Depression. One of the characters is a police lieutenant that loves music. I dare to say Jazz music but looking into the names that are dropped by the character noticed that, they where not many Jazz musicians among them and this name-dropping was mostly done to root the story in the 30’s. One of the songs named was “Deep Elam Blues” by the Stanton Brothers.

So, I wiki-ed it and looked it up on YouTube and found that this was more bluegrass inspired than jazz inspired. However, I was immediately charmed by the riff and jangle of the tune. It was stuck in my head for days and for some reason I kept placing the words “smuggler’s blues” in it instead. So, I looked up “Smuggler’s Blues” by Glen Frey and gave that another listen and wouldn’t you know it: the melody is near identical.

I would not say Glenn Frey plagiarized “Elam” but he did pay homage to the song. However deliberate is up to you to decide.

My Bonnie mentioned that she noted the same thing when she listened to Nine Inch Nails’ “F^ck You Like an Animal” (Yeah, you read that right. Bonnie listens to NIN.) and noted that the riff was familiar but un-place able. Until she heard, quite by chance, “The Hustle” by Van McCoy and realized the “F^ck You Like an Animal” riff was a slowed, processed version of the riff from “The Hustle”. Neat.

Can you name other songs that have done this?

3:[ I am 1 for 4 in my “Top Ten Movies I Want To See in 2010” List. With “Kick-Ass” and “Predators” being such disappointments I hinged a lot of hope on “The Expendables” to bring my score to 50% with “Inception” being the best movie I have seen so far this year.

Don’t get me wrong, there have been plenty of really good movies this year that were not on my list: “Despicable Me” and “Toy Story 3” are up at the top of the Best of 2010 list. If these two do not garner Best Picture nominations (Not Best Animated Picture, mind you) then something is wrong with the Academy’s new system…

CLICK the link for the reviews of both INCEPTION and, ugh, THE EXPENDABLES.

So, now I recently saw “The Warlords” on DVD and now feel better being 2 for 5 on the list. UPDATE: Now I am 3 for 6, (50%!) after seeing Anton Corbijn’s “The American” which was very good, very methodical and European. (Translation: boobies) All in all, it is a nice caper film.

4:[ So, recently, I bought a 5-Pack of Paper:Mate Pencils. I like mechanical pencils because your do not have to sharpen them and you can control the level of detail in a pencil sketch. Now, the “improvements” on these new pencils are the non-dry-out erasers. Most of us know that erasers have a tendency to dry out and crumple apart or dry out and become a smudging stick.

But with these new non-drying-out erasers, well… all I have to do is keep these pencils in my pocket for a few hours and viola, the erasers are rubbed down to nothing and are completely useless! Shoot, I put one of these new pencils in my pocket and carried it for about 5 days before I had occasion to use it and I noticed that, never using it once, that the eraser was already down past half. Dang.

5:[ Again with the coffee trend. Why is it that even when there are two people behind the counter, there is only one doing everything for the long line that forms? I saw it again today. The guy as usual talking to a pretty customer while the lady co-worker gets it all done. Sheesh!

6:[ So, on the train this morning, I had occasion to eavesdrop on a conversation between two ladies on the express to the Loop. Now, I never intended to eavesdrop because they sat across the aisle from each other with one of them right in front of me and proceeded to chitter like they were at the bar.

Let me tell you something folks, and I think I told you this before, that no matter what group of people you leave they will almost always begin talking about you the moment you are away, almost every time. They will begin talking behind your back once you wave so long to them. Really. Believe it.

And believe me, just because you haven’t seen some of these folks in years, they will speak badly about you as these two ladies were doing in front of me on the train, talking crap about some sorority sister from years ago. So, be careful whom you interact with, people.

Sooner or later I tuned out the best I could. Still I could not tune them out completely. These were the nasally, all-questioning type of voices you associate with high school and post-high school girls these days. (Which would be a terrible generalization had I not heard this for myself the last 10 years.) Anyways, I noticed that after a time they begin speaking so fast that it seemed like a bunch of gibberish after a while. It was funny. It went a little something like this:

“Giegheigheigheigheihgg

Like, ihteihteiothehrteuhtethotuhuehtfhbjkfbla

Like, tehtowuhteouht

Like, like, otetwohteotheouthuethjafg;eijgb;wgublguEBG,

Like, urghiu Like, toiejt

Like, awiheuwhfjefjfrbfrybflajfbcrincuni.

Yeah, see you later!”

Then, one of them got off the train and the other moved to sit next to the guy she got on the train with. And you know what? They immediately started talking crap about the gal that just got off the train. Am I the only one who notices this?

7:[ And now Wisdom of the Sages presents:

An Ever-growing List of Thing That MUST Stop!:

+ Celebrities that abuse/mistreat/rape women and then tend to be forgiven for it. Being famous does not put you above the law.

+ Evoking Michael Jackson to gain forgiveness. I find it despicable to evoke the dead to progress your ideology.

+ Adding Zombies to EVERYTHING! Seriously, this needs to stop.

+ Ironic Hipster Cool. Dude, it must end….

If you have something you wish to voice an end to, please forward your idea and I’ll give you a shout out in next month’s WoS.

8:[ Many of you (Well, two of you.) noted that I seem to be more loose and genteel now with WOS. I think it is because I cut the material down from 25 – 30 items to 10. That’s a lot less pressure to comment on things that interest only me. As you can see I’ve even numbered the items this month for your benefit. There was a time when I simply added anything and everything to the list and sometimes it totaled up to around 30 items that I pressured myself to comment on, at most times sounding like a crotchety old man.

With ten items there is less to comment on. Therefore I can give myself some room in commenting on the news of the day.

9:[ From the “This Just In” file: I just picked up the Native tales comic compilation “Trickster” from Half-Price Books. It is a collection of Native American tales illustrated by comic book artists. I thought I would give it a try and let you know what I think about it by CLICKING HERE.

10:[ Last Item of the Month: You know, there used to be a time in my life when I thought that I could afford to buy a car, a used car. I’d look through newspapers and weekly ad circulars and think, “Yeah, I could afford to pay that much a month” or “I think I could buy one outright.”

And this was when I was working for scraps back on the rez. My, how times have changed. Now, when I look at a car on the lot I begin to think “Hmm, I wonder how comfortable it would be to live in that for the rest of my life…”

That will do it for this month.

Well, I’m going to try numbering the items I cover in WoS for a while to see how that works out. Let me know what you think. Let me know what you think about the items I write about. Heck, let me know what you think about stuff in general. I’ll listen or read what you have to say.

Enjoy the cooling weather and I’ll look for you next month.

Until Next Time, “I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control everything really are.”

August - Summer 2010

2010-08-15T19:51:00.003-05:00

Wisdom of the Sages

Episode VIII

August – Summer 2010

Hello People of the World;

Gah, it’s so hot right now, if I could I’d punch the sun right in the face!

Now, I ran into someone the other day that told me that they’d been saying that for years now. But I must tell everyone that I coined the term in the Summer of 2003 when, walking into the 600 Michigan, second-floor computer lab, my co-worker Aaron (A super cool guy) asked me if it was hot out, since he saw me sweating rainstorms, told him “If I could, I’d punch the sun right in the face” which popped right into my head then.

Aaron laughed and said, “I’ve never heard anyone say that before.”

So, I took it that I just made it up then, “Coined the Term”, if you will. Or maybe venerable statesman Abraham Lincoln said it first. I dunno. It sounds like something he’d say….

Let’s get started, shall we?

:[ First Item of the Month: Getting around my neighborhood you need to get around a ton of road construction along Touhy Avenue these days. Even driving out to Gurnee with my Ladies we ran into miles of interstate improvements. Man, what a fricking hassle. Don’t they see that I’m needed right away?!

I blame Obama and his infrastructure bill, making new road construction jobs. Stupid Obama ruins everything, even my commutes. Him and Tom Cruise. Him and Tom Cruise ruin fricking everything. We could have won WWII sooner had it not been for Tom Cruise and his space beliefs… Stupid Tom Cruise and Obama…

:[ So, racing rims on a Ford Focus… Seriously?

Dude.

:[ I guess some arbitrary judge decided that cheerleading is not a collegiate sport.

I guess they ignored the fact that cheerleading suffers more life-threatening injuries than manly sports like football…

:[ Ballad of the Tragically Hipster: Seeing this mook get on the train at Loyola with his starched jeans, new blue, plaid shirt over his ironic t-shirt and matching blue, plaid golf cap, with scraggily hair (but not too scraggily) and barely-there facial hair (neatly trimmed). He carried a copy of “Catch-22” for goodness sake. Yet, when he sat down, revealing his very expensive blue, leather sneakers, he turns on his iPod and never once cracks the book open.

On that point, when has being a contrary ass become hipster irony? On that same train ride I looked out the window before we pull into the Loyola stop and see another mook, in a blue, plaid shirt (What is it with blue, plaid shirts all of a sudden?) and aviator sunglasses wearing a t-shirt that read “Kanye Was Right”. Really? Does this guy really believe that, is he really a fan of Kanye or even listen to his music, or is he just wearing that shirt to be “cool” and “ironic”? Stupid Tragic Hipsters, they have ruined both “Cool” and “Ironic” for everyone… then, that other guy gets on the train and compounds the point.

:[ If George Miller doesn’t put beat up, souped up, rugged versions of soccer mom minivans in his new Mad Max: Fury Road movie, he would be doing a supreme injustice to the toughness of both Moms and minivans!

:[ For the first time in the near-eleven years I have lived in and around Chicago, I have finally walked through the famed, even hallowed Merchandise Mart building. Weird, huh?

Like any common citizen of this place, of any place really, I have never gone and done all the Tourist-y places in Chicago, i.e.: Willis Tower (get over it), Hancock Building, etc. I feel, like a lot of people do: I’m not going anywhere anytime soon and sooner or later, I’ll get around to doing the famed “Chicago” things. Neither have I ever gone out of my way to do the “Real” Chicagoan stuff either, like going to that bar or some eatery no one’s ever heard of. Mostly, it’s just a matter of money, um, of not having any to do these things. I digress.

I’ve never been in the Merchandise Mart building before yesterday, is what I’m saying….

:[ So the trend of every coffee house in Chicago running out of the very specific thing I ordered continues on unabated. In fact, the day before yesterday after I was done at work downtown I went to the nearest Starbuck to get a cup before heading home, sort of wait out the Rush Period Idiots, and after I order and sit, I wait 15 MINUTES before I have to remind the guy making the drinks I ordered a medium iced coffee!

Meanwhile, they served 6 people who all got their drinks before I stood up and said something… is it just me?

:[ Speaking of road construction, I was crossing the street near my work a couple of weeks ago where there is a HUGE, ORANGE “ROAD CLOSED” sign blocking what appears to be Obama’s Socialist Agenda tearing up all five lanes of Montrose Avenue down the block. Since the whole block is closed off except to residents, I assume I can cross the street without having to wait for the light.

Apparently, people who were needed right away, begged to differ. As I step into the street, a car speeding at me honks and slows. I shrug and point to the HUGE, ORANGE “ROAD CLOSED” sign and give them a “WTF?” look. They sneer at me as they zoom past me and the HUGE, ORANGE “ROAD CLOSED” sign only to find that they indeed CANNOT go down that street, BECAUSE IT’S F*CKING CLOSED!!! They ignore me as I have stood there to watch them have to make a u-turn and go back around and pass me, standing there pointing at the sign again as they pass.

:[ From the “This Just In” file: The Star Wars Trilogy is finally getting released to Blu-Ray disc. Now, I do not own a Blu-Ray player but I own an import “Red Cliff” Blu-Ray. But, this is exciting news from the Star Wars camp, for a change. Now, we will get the 2004 Special Editions on disc first, then, later, the “Classic Editions” on Blu-Ray, all cleaned up and formatted correctly later on. I guess the big draw for those waiting for the classics to snap up the first editions will be unseen deleted footage. LIKE THIS.

Now I have to buy a Blu-Ray player. Hell, I have to buy an HDTV now. Great. Read this article from Ain’t It Cool News.

:[ Last Item of the Month: I must take some time here to talk about Elvis Presley. Elvis Week is this month by the way. For the longest time it was cool to disparage Elvis for racism for a perceived remark he made. Even the Great Jim Jarmusch inclided it in one of his flicks. But it turns out that the whole thing was/is an urban legend.

Anyways, Elvis Presley died this month 33 years ago. Wow. Hats off to the King. Now, about that Elvis project of mine… what ever happened with that?

That will do it for this month.

Try to stay cool folks. Don’t let the world drag you down or the sides try to pull you one way or another. I invite you to comment, question, contradict and disprove all that I have posted here. I welcome it. Now, where I put that sandwich?

Enjoy your summer and remember: school starts again soon!

Until Next Time, “I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control everything really are.”

July - Summer 2010

2010-07-15T23:57:00.003-05:00

Wisdom of the Sages

Episode VII

July – Summer 2010

Hello People of the World;

Yep, Summer is not only here, but it’s camped-out on the couch, bringing its’ buddies over, using your toothbrush and not going away anytime soon. It has gotten so hot that I turned my bed around to face the fan and to avoid the myth that sleeping in the wrong direction is bad luck. Since it is so hot, I'll keep it short....

Let’s get started, shall we?

:[ First Item of the Month: The other day My Bonnie pointed out to me that not even two years ago I was crying around about the blasphemy that is iced coffee. Yep, she caught me in a contradiction.

Now, I have never hid the fact that I am an un-closeted hypocrite. Most people should just get over the fact they sell out their principles on a daily basis. When you do, it is A-MAZE-ING.

Anyways, with the hot weather of late I enjoy a large, sweetened iced coffee is what I’m saying…

:[ Most kids do not want to admit that they have been duped into buying into the worst looking trends ever. Masked as some form of rebellion cool, they wear what is tantamount to rodeo clown clothing with their asses hanging out of the backs of their pants and before admitting they bought into a stupid trend will trying to make it into some form of “My Choice” nonsense.

Take the “Emo” look of today. It’s just the 80’s Punk Rock look re-packaged and re-sold to a new generation. Watch John Hughes’ “The Breakfast Club” and you will see the Original Emo Chick in Ally Sheedy’s character. Seriously. It’s just re-packaged to the new generation.

“Cool”, “Rebellious” and “Individuality” have nothing to do with it.

:[ Sitting in the Starbucks, I overhear a man giving his friend the worst advice ever. I cannot believe that is how the “Modern Man” thinks. Sheesh. From what I gather, in their very loud discussion, was about whether or not the man should buy a second car for himself.

The friend sounded like a car salesman trying to convince the man to get it, because “He should do it for himself, if it was him, he’d get it because the wife, while she drives everywhere isn’t making it about him. He should do it for himself, forget about how healthy walking everywhere is, (The man stated many times he enjoys walking a lot.) he should do it and get a car for himself, without regard to what his wife says”

Man, what a man. Is it common practice to criticize another’s marriage to sell a car? I don’t know.

:[ So, the Dominick’s store in my neighborhood replaced the very capable DVDPlay kiosks with a Blockbuster Express one. So, the other day I decide to try it and find Rob Marshall’s “NINE” that Bonnie was interested in seeing. It is a fairly new release but not widely popular.

Now, the Blockbuster Express works like DVDPlay and Redbox but with the same high standards of service like the regular Blockbuster Stores.

They did not have “Nine” available.

The very movie I wanted was NOT available for rent.

Just like a real Blockbuster!

:[ I was going to post an item here on Roman Polanksi but I do not want to waste the time on that slime.

Also, I have lost faith in Mel Gibson. At one point I hoped that he would pull out of it but he has simply lost it. Sure, you can say thethe girlfriend taped the episodes to sell on but if she filed charges, everyone would simply take Mel’s side. You see? She did it to prove she was not lying about his abuse…. Would you have believed her without those tapes? No, really, would you have?

:[ Quick Reviews of the tons of movies I’ve seen this year:

“Clash of the Titans” not that great. Hated that “I’m not your son/a God” nonsense from one-note Worthington that suddenly flips a 180 by movies end. It’s okay, the original wasn’t that great either, and if you thought so, only want to be counted among the Harryhausen groupies.

“Harry Brown” was a nice little thriller. Basically “Death Wish” in a small, British community with Michael Caine making an effective Charlie Bronson.

“Nightmare on Elm Street”: yeah, didn’t care for this one. Poor Jackie Haley, all that’s left is genre roles.

“Shrek 4”, yep, saw this with the Boo. It was an enjoyable farce with a tired “Don’t know what you got…” lesson attached. Funny in parts but none too memorable.

“The A-Team”; What I hate most is movies based on old TV shows or remakes must always throwback to the original as if that somehow validates it but leaves it without any integrity of its own as a movie. What I liked about this funny action-er was that they balanced out the nostalgia. Saw with the Boo.

“Toy Story 3” the best of the three. Andy’s speech at the end while holding the shot of Woody made me cry. I am not ashamed to say that.

“The Last Airbender”: An overall weak effort from Shyamalan. I liked it but it felt rushed, as if he put too much into it. The casting never bothered me save for Assif Manvid of the “Daily Show”. That guy cannot do menacing. Now all the Geeks are screaming for “Unbreakable 2”.

Stay Tuned for my two-part essay “Geeks Fucking Ruin Everything!”

“Despicable Me” a very sweet little movie about adopted families. I loved it as much as “Toy Story 3”, really. There were a lot of funny and sweet moments and the animation was surprisingly good. The voice cast rocked as well.

I quick reviewed “Iron Man 2” and “Kick-Ass” earlier.

“Predators” is a worthy sequel. I bought into the concept, love the final Yakuza guy show down, was thrown for a loop at the Predator Blood Fued with the Pac-Man-faced Predators, but was disappointed at Laurence Fishburne’s character. It held my interest, I loved that action and looked forward to another sequel with that closing shot…. Then the credits rolled and they played that fucking, STUPID Little Richard song from the first “Predator” movie. Here we go again! Another stupid throwback to the originals. Come on. The concept fell apart for in the space of that song. Sorry. (Stay tuned for the afore-mentioned article...)

So, with “Kick-Ass” and “Predators” being a let-down, I am right now 0 for 2 on my Top 10 Most-anticipated Movies of 2010 list.

But then, there is “Inception” first thing tomorrow!

:[ Turns out that the “American Dream” is harder to achieve now than in the past. Yep, looking for that one opportunity to get your foot in the door but circumstance, who you are and where you come from closes a lot of doors?

“Welcome to the Club!” Why is it that what has affected minorities for years is not real until it affect the affluent?

:[ I don’t get how Indian Dudes treat their “Girlfriends”. They mock and tease and mess with their heads and all the while the lady is apologizing. Weird. I hope that it is not just a Native thing but I have noticed this primarily among the Native set. Correct me please…

:[ Why do people suddenly hate John Mayer? Someone tell me…

:[ Here’s how much of a loser I am: Have you ever been excited about new toothpaste? Well, being a poor bachelor, I have been using Pepsodent toothpaste for the better part of two years. So, when I see Arm & Hammer’s Baking Soda and Peroxide toothpaste on sale I snap it up. Man, I was soooo happy that I got it but had to wait a day or two to use up my Pepsodent. Then, I was so happy that I even got up early just so I could brush my teeth with my new toothpaste.

Yep, I was so excited that I went back to the store and got a second on-sale tube of Arm & Hammer. Loser Status: CONFIRMED!

:[ So why is LeBron James picking a team more important than the oil still leaking off-coast?

:[ The Iroquois Lacrosse Team not allowed to travel due to Tribally-issued passports. I guess that is the only way they could ever beat the Iroquois at their game!

:[ From the “This Just In” File: Harvey Pekar dies. So, instead of promoting him and supporting his works while he lived, I will profess my devotion to his art form now that he has passed on. I mean, he would want it that way. Right?

:[ Last Item of the Month: So, BP finally plugged the well after 2 and a half months and 184 MILLION gallons of oil spewed into the environment. Does this mean they aren't to blame anymore?

That will do it for this month. Pretty light on stuff this month but that is okay. I cannot b a crabby, old man every month. Let me know what you think. Feel free to comment, contradict and outright prove me wrong.

Until Next Time, “I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control everything really are.”